I'm here

[crosslatch]

Life is becoming just one big spiral moving around me while I try to function. It holds all these desires that I hold on to for very brief periods of time before I spin so fast I'm forced to let go. It gets slower when I'm drunk. People were made to drink. I hate people that go to extremes to avoid it for some kind of moralistic purpose, as if they're holding it above me. I'm sorry you have having fun, but I don't and I'm gonna do what makes me happy. Ugliness is beauty. If there's a heaven, I don't think we have to be miserable in life to get there. Our time on Earth is so short it's ridiculous, this little speck in the vast expanse of time fading away not with a shout or a scream, but an inaudible whisper against the Almighty God, or time. And the way people try to fight it is ridiculous. People's vanities piss me off to no end. Fear of the unknown keeps people contemptable. I hate people that are afraid to meet new people, or are afraid to drop all their bullshit and prtense and just laugh at how stupid the entire world is, including them. Girls are the worst about this. Look around the world. There are people dying everywhere and the biggest problem facing the church is the sexual orientation of cartoon characters. Holiness can go fuck itself. If that's holy, I'll see all of you in hell. I'd rather seperate myself from this world as far as I can and go to bed seeing all those things I see every single night spiraling around my head than suffer through another lecture about why I should worry about prolonging my life or devoting my life to some form of a higher power. Take a look around. This is life. We're here, right now, breathing in the oxygen that fuels the flame that will eventually consume us. By living, we are killing ourselves. This system is far from perfect, and everything that happens in it is so utterly inconsequential to anyone other than ourselves that it's almost ridiculous to leave our beds. Except that we all have our desires that we will hold with us until the day we die. As a species we fight our way to the top of the food chain so that we can complain about it and try to fall back down. Fortunately we are just flies splattering on evolution's windshieldin that regard. But it's ok people, hide your desires deep down inside you and pretend that you know no one else sees them. Maintain your beauty likes it's all that you've got. It worked well for so many others. Pay them a visit at the cemetary if you get a chance.

I'm dirt.
I'm alone.
I'm far from sober.
Look closer.
You don't wanna be like me.
I'm ugly.