SUMMARY ~ Yokozawa Takafumi no Baai [FULL]
Posting here unlocked in case others want to share without reposting the full text for an unlocked entry!
GO DOWNLOAD THE ACTUAL NOVEL IN ENGLISH FROM HERE. This is a crappy summary that does a disservice to the actual novel. Go dedicate an afternoon to getting your read on :P
Chapter 1
Yokozawa wakes up in a hotel room, with no memory of the previous evening or how he got there--or most importantly, who's in the shower. Kirishima comes out, beautiful in a bathrobe (unf!) and they talk about what happened--Yokozawa can't remember anything, and Kirishima seems amused at this and deliberately avoids telling him the truth, letting Yokozawa worry in his own mind about what happened. Yokozawa is mostly preoccupied with what he thinks is the biggest problem: was he on top...or bottom? He hesitantly questions Kirishima if he's gay, as Yokozawa definitely doesn't consider himself to be (he's only ever felt anything for Takano). Kirishima admits that he "can go either way"; he just likes strong-willed people, regardless of gender, and loves teasing them. Yokozawa notices a ring on Kirishima's ring finger--but says nothing of it.
He recalls slowly that he was really drunk last night after being dumped by Takano, when Kirishima had run into him at a bar, and asks about the bill for their drinks--hoping he didn't eat and run or anything. Kirishima says he paid for the both of them, and pulls out a long receipt showing just how much it all cost (hint: a lot). Yokozawa's kind of shocked (Kirishima: "I told you to take it easy, but would you listen? Noooo~") and given that he's low on cash on hand, Kirishima offers to pay at least half, since it was partly his own fault too. But Yokozawa is resolute that he definitely doesn't want to build a debt to Kirishima any more than he already has--he doesn't want to get involved any further. Kirishima ultimately agrees to let him pay it all, but only on the condition that Yokozawa...be his bitch, pretty much. That means not giving him any trouble about book orders in the future and to do whatever Kirishima asks, including but not limited to hanging out outside of work. Yokozawa doesn't want to and tries to refuse--but Kirishima threatens then to 'accidentally' leak some risque photos he took of their night together XD He refuses to let Yokozawa see them, but says he'll let Yokozawa off the hook eventually. "Probably when I get tired of being your master."
With that, Kirishima leaves for work and tells Yokozawa he had his suit dry-cleaned and that he should sleep off his hangover some more. Yokozawa eventually leaves later and heads home to feed Sorata and change before heading in to work.
If you've read chapter 10 of Onodera Ritsu no Baai, you know what comes next! It's the whole scene where Ritsu and Yokozawa talk and Yokozawa asks Ritsu point blank if he loves Takano. Ritsu answers to the affirmative, and Yokozawa grudgingly accepts him.
At work, there's an upcoming campaign for Za Kan work, and the sales department is waiting on some data from the Japun people (aka Kirishima's people). He sends Henmi, a subordinate, to go to the Japun section to see what's taking so long--but Kirishima shows up right then and promptly invites Yokozawa out for drinks in front of everyone. Yokozawa has no choice but to go, he eventually realizes after Kirishima asks blithely, "Whaaat? Have you already forgotten about this mo--" before getting quickly cut off by a frantic Yokozawa XD
They wind up chatting at a bar. Yokozawa asks grumpily why he's being so persistent in going out with Yokozawa when he has plenty of people in the company he could probably have here with him who are far better company than Yokozawa. Kirishima responds simply, "Didn't I tell you? I like teasing prideful guys like you." He then goes on to tell Yokozawa to have more confidence in himself--he does good work, and he's not bad on the eyes. Yokozawa objects to this, and Kirishima teases a bit more, further unsettling him.
Yokozawa excuses himself to go to the bathroom and be alone for a moment. He reflects and sighs, defeated, realizing that Kirishima's personality and attitude totally throw him off. His only real choice in dealing with this guy is to just wait til Kirishima gets tired of him.
Back at the bar, Kirishima suggests they leave, as it's getting late--and oh, he already paid. Yokozawa is furious again--he didn't want to build up more debt to Kirishima and this is the exact opposite of it. Kirishima considers this, and after a few moments, he ultimately agrees: fine, he'll let Yokozawa pay. He reaches forward, grabs Yokozawa by the tie, and then promptly lays one on him right on the sidewalk in front of the bar. The kiss is quite good--so much so that its intensity makes Yokozawa go boneless, and after Kirishima lets him up, he has to lean against the signpost because his legs won't support him. Kirishima smiles deviously, delivers a light-hearted 'gochisousama~' (phrase spoken after eating a delicious meal), and then heads home.
Chapter 2
While walking to Marimo Books, Yokozawa reflects on how he met and fell in love with Takano. They'd been simple friends initially, with Yokozawa caring for him during his rough times, but over time, he grew close with Takano, grew to care for him deeply until he realized he was spending more time with him than with his girlfriend. Then, one night, they got drunk and slept together. Even though Yokozawa knew that Takano regretted it, the experience also made him recognize his own feelings--he was in love with Takano, in the romantic sense, not just as close friends.
He stops in at Marimo Books some and talks to Yukina for a bit before seeking out the manager, who's a fan of Za Kan, to discuss some upcoming sales campaigns. The manager tells him to give thanks to the editor of the books, and Yokozawa agrees without thinking--before realizing that means Kirishima (the main editor for Za Kan, not to be confused with the sub-editor who's shown up in JR recently).
Over the next few days, Kirishima does as Kirishima will do and goads Yokozawa into accompanying him for after-work drinks and dinners. He goes out with Kirishima almost every day and is, much to his horror, actually steadily getting used to the guy's carefree attitude and atmosphere that has grated up until now. Coworkers at Marukawa even notice this change in the way they act around each other and ask him about Kirishima's whereabouts sometimes, sensing that they're 'friends'. However, even though he does feel as if he's getting more comfortable around Kirishima and recognizes that he's good at his job and not as annoying to others as he is to Yokozawa, he's still not sure about the guy's ulterior motives, why he really insists on hanging out with Yokozawa. Whenever they talk, he'll sometimes give half-assed answers and ambiguous replies to some of Yokozawa's questions, almost purposefully avoiding the topics.
One day, he realizes he needs some data from Emerald and heads up to the 4th floor--to find there's a lot of excitement in the air. When he asks about the commotion, one of the girls near him answers in an excited squeal, "TAKANO-SAN AND ONODERA-SAN SLEPT TOGETHER IN A DOUBLE BED ON A BUSINESS TRIP!" <--YUP XD We have now arrived at Chapter 11 XDDD She goes on to discuss this with a fellow coworker, commenting, "Onodera-kun looks absolutely exhausted, and Takano-san refuses to say what happened at night! Isn't that suspicious?!" This then segues into lots of BL fangirling where they try to determine who's seme and who's uke (USING THOSE TERMS), and conclude that duh Takano is totally seme. Yes indeed girls, duh :P Yokozawa rolls his eyes, convinced they wouldn't be nearly as ecstatic if it was more than fantasy and they knew that Takano and Onodera really did have a relationship going on--he recalls that the Sapphire offices are on the same floor, and chalks up all the gossip to that.
He heads back to the sales dept, only to find that there's also a lot of excitement here as well, but not for a good reason. Za Kan is getting made into a movie, and apparently some of the information (such as release date, cast info, etc.) has been leaked ahead of time, and is making its way around the Internet. Yokozawa is furious at first--until he realizes it was his own fault; he'd sent a fax to a book store with pertinent information accidentally on the day that he'd been dumped by Takano. His lack of focus after such a shock had led him to make this mistake, and he regrets it deeply.
He goes to apologize to Za Kan people, but Kirishima has already arrived at the sales offices and calls Yokozawa out into a small meeting room so they can talk. He gripes at Yokozawa for being all bark and no bite, saying he'd thought he was a much more competent person than this. Yokozawa apologizes, admitting that he really feels horrible and knows it was all his fault. Seeing this, Kirishima says "...Stop looking like a kid who just got caught doing something naughty. I only wanted to tease you." Turns out he isn't mad at all--though he has been considerably inconvenienced, and warns Yokozawa not to do it again or his standing's going to plummet. It's fine--things will work out. Yokozawa is, suffice it to say, shocked.
"But, how?! How are things going to work out" Kirishima responds, suggesting, "Just--play it up as an advance marketing ploy; say you leaked a little info to get people excited." Yokozawa is wary: "Are you...covering for me?" Kirishima chuckles, "What else does it look like? Be grateful. Oh, and you've just chalked up another debt, by the way."
He then teases Yokozawa a bit more, trying to draw out a proper, polite, 'I'm sorry', but Yokozawa refuses, blushing at being covered for this way, and this just makes Kirishima even happier to have gotten to see this side to him. He then changes the subject and tells Yokozawa to come have dinner with him. This time--Yokozawa agrees without protest.
After work finishes, Yokozawa and Kirishima are walking to their destination. "So where are we going?" Yokozawa asks, but Kirishima is mute, reminding him happily, "You'll find out when we get there. I'm gonna let you eat the best food you've ever had in your life, so look forward to it~" Kirishima is obviously in higher spirits than usual, and they seem to be going away from the station, so they're obviously not going anywhere not-local to eat.
Shortly, they arrive in front of an apartment building and take the elevator up. Yokozawa first wonders if perhaps one of the floors has been made into some sort of food court, but then he quickly realizes once they get off the elevator that it's in fact Kirishima's apartment. They open the door, and Kirishima calls out, "I'm home, Hiyo!" A light voice greets back, "Welcome back Papa! Oh, you have a guest?"
Yokozawa is quite taken aback--Kirishima urges his daughter to introduce herself, which she does, politely introducing herself as Kirishima Hiyori. Yokozawa introduces himself similarly, and she asks if it's okay for her to call him 'Yokozawa Oniichan', which he allows after some hesitation. Kirishima, watching this all with amusement, then reminds Yokozawa of the present he brought for Hiyo--before leaving the office, Kirishima had told Yokozawa to go buy a special brand of green tea candies from a shop near the station. They turn out to be Hiyo's favorite, and she thanks him profusely, as she assumes that Yokozawa bought it for her of his own will, not knowing her father's devious plan XD Kirishima has tricked his daughter into loving Yokozawa right off the bat. BADASS DADDY!
Hiyo has curry cooking and returns to the kitchen, and Yokozawa comments that she's quite cute. Kirishima says she takes after her mother--which of course subsequently leads to questions about his wife, with Yokozawa assuming that since he's got a wedding ring and a kid, there's gotta be a woman around--which means Kirishima was cheating on her with Yokozawa. But, all is not as it seems, and apparently she died of sickness years back. Kirishima is a bit miffed, "Geez, use your head; do you really think I'd have cheated on my wife with you?" Yokozawa protests, "Well I couldn't tell--you've still got your ring on after all!" Kirishima glances down at it, then admits he really only wears it to keep authors from asking too many questions. He eyes Yokozawa with a smile and asks if he's jealous? He doesn't mind taking it off at all--and if Yokozawa wants him to, all he has to do is say so and he'll do it. Yokozawa doesn't rise to the bait :P
They pile into the dining are and sit down for dinner, discussing Kirishima's and his daughter's life together--when Kirishima has to stay at the office late, Hiyo stays with Kirishima's parents who live nearby. Hiyo offers Yokozawa tea or beer to drink, and Yokozawa takes the tea despite Kirishima's suggestion of beer ("It's a weekend tomorrow! You can let loose a little--and if you get too smashed, just stay the night!") because he doesn't want to stay over. Hiyo is devastated, urging him to stay the night, but Yokozawa uses Sorata as an excuse, saying that he can't stay over because he has to take care of his cat who's getting up there in years and shouldn't be left alone too long. This then leads to lots of questions about Sorata, Hiyo wants to know all about him, as she loves kitties! Hearing her go on about how much she wants a cat (coupled with Kirishima's very parental, "Well you can have one as soon as I believe you'll take proper care of it!"), Yokozawa opens his mouth...and suddenly offers to let her come over and see Sorata whenever she wants. Even though he knows deep down that that also means he'll get closer with Kirishima--he just can't turn down Hiyo when she's looking that cute.
He adds, as an addendum, that this all of course depends on whether or not her father will let her, and Kirishima smiles and says sure she can go--if she gets good grades, which leads to the revelation that poor Hiyo is very bad at math. Her fire dies a bit, and she grumbles that she'll try...and this of course prompts totallywantstobeHiyo'smother!Yokozawa to AGAIN open his big mouth and offers to help her study, as he was a home tutor in college.
Hiyo realizes she's forgotten to make them salad and runs into the kitchen, at which point Kirishima and Yokozawa talk some more about how he's good with kids. Kirishima smiles and reminds him, "Well, be nice to her." Yokozawa is dubious: "You really want me to be nice to her? What if I come up to you later and tell you Hiyo and I are getting married?" He thinks this will throw Kirishima off, but alas, he is dead wrong, as Kirishima jumps right on his train of thought and comes back with, "Hmm, yeah...you're gay, after all. It'd wind up an unrequited love for Hiyo then, huh... Ah well, such is life." Yokozawa is grossly offended, spouting out in response, "I AM NOT GAY!"
After dinner, a nervous Hiyo asks for comments on their meal. Kirishima is, of course, all smiles. "Yokozawa--Hiyo's curry was delicious, isn't it?" Yokozawa can't help smiling softly himself, and nods, "...Yeah. Definitely the best in the world"...just like Kirishima had promised him he would have that evening <3333
Chapter 3
A couple of weeks later, Yokozawa is at work after most everyone has left, waiting on Kirishima to call. They've been going home together to Kirishima's place a lot lately, so it's kind of become commonplace for Yokozawa to wait for Kirishima to say he's finished, but...the call isn't coming today.
He does realize it's the end of the cycle, though, and that Kirishima's probably really busy, so that means they won't be able to go tonight. He decides to go see Kirishima himself to give him the present Yokozawa had bought for Hiyo (some colorful macarons at a department store; it's become habit now for him to treat Hiyo like this).
Unfortunately, Kirishima is absolutely swamped with work when he arrives, waiting for a final manuscript to submit because the author was late since her dog got sick and had to be taken to the hospital. Yokozawa wants to tell him he's in this situation because he's soft on his authors like that, but Kirishima cuts him off, saying, "I know what you want to say--but all I had to do was think what if it had been Hiyo? and I couldn't help but sympathize."
He then tells Yokozawa he can go ahead to Kirishima's place by himself, but Yokozawa isn't so sure that's a good idea. Kirishima asks if he has other plans or something, and when Yokozawa says he doesn't really, he prods again why he can't just go to be with Hiyo himself. Yokozawa hedges that it's because... Kirishima isn't there with him, so it seems strange to go into another person's house while they're not there. At that point, Kirishima practically begs him to go and be with Hiyo, because his parents have left to go on a trip and she's there by herself (couldn't be helped!). Yokozawa immediately springs to action, berating him for leaving her alone, and snatches up the key he offers lightning quick, hurrying home.
At Kirishima's place, he finds Hiyo doing just fine, and they share a rather pleasant evening cooking a meal and chatting. Hiyo very obviously enjoys being with Yokozawa, and before long they are gabbing and giggling like close friends, with Yokozawa truly happy and smiling, making fun of her and enjoying seeing her cute mad face.
Kirishima comes home much later, after midnight, and finds Hiyo in bed, sound asleep. He thanks Yokozawa again, relating that he feels bad for leaving her alone (and doubting himself as a parent as well), and Yokozawa kind of comforts him, telling him not to worry so much--it's part of the job (late days), and if he's so worried about her, then he should spoil her when he can and tell her if he's worried about anything.
He changes the subject quickly, all too conscious of the way the atmosphere changes between them when they're alone for too long together, and asks if Kirishima has eaten, to which Kirishima replies nope, he's starving. Yokozawa reminds him he should've had someone go out and buy something even if he had to work late, but Kirishima admits he held off because he wanted to eat the nikujaga that Yokozawa and Hiyo were making (Hiyo had sent him a text telling him they were doing this). This reminds Yokozawa of their conversation earlier, and he remarks that Hiyo said her father was horrible with cooking, that he couldn't even peel an apple. Yokozawa chuckls, "What are you intending to do when Hiyo goes off and gets married?"
Kirishima considers this, before replying, "Then...I guess I'll just have you cook for me. I'm looking forward to your pudding and stewed pork."
Yokozawa protests that he only said he'd make those for Hiyo, not Kirishima, and Kirishima laughs at him, This then prompts him to get even more annoyed, asking why he's laughing, but Kirishima refuses to tell. "It's a secret. If I told you, you'd get mad." He then thinks for a moment and adds, "...But if you promise not to get mad, I'll tell you." Yokozawa brushes him off, saying he doesn't care anymore, even though Kirishima looks like he really wants to tell Yokozawa.
Noting the late hour, Yokozawa goes to leave. Kirishima tries to convince him to stay, but he refuses--because of Sorata. The trains have stopped running, so he'll take a taxi--and Kirishima tries to give him money for looking after Hiyo. Yokozawa definitely doesn't want that and tries to object, saying he didn't do this because he wanted money, but Kirishima is firm and pushes the money into his hands anyways, telling him to take it, use it, and if it bugs him so much, then sell a boatload of books so that Kirishima gets a raise. Yokozawa ultimately complies and leaves quickly.
As he leaves, he realizes that his heart is racing and that he can still feel like burns everywhere Kirishima touched him.
Chapter 4
Yokozawa goes into work the next Monday, thinking about the dull start every week has. As he enters the Marukawa building, he starts to notice he's getting lots of strange stares--which make him feel nervous. He boards the elevator to go up to the third floor and overhears two coworkers who don't notice him talking and laughing--about a photo. Yokozawa ignores it at first...but then his name comes up. He quickly confronts them, frantic at first, fearing that it's the risque ones Kirishima took of him, but after much ado, they tell him it's just a funny picture of Yokozawa in a red and white polka-dot apron peeling a potato. He doesn't even have to think about it, he immediately knows it's Kirishima's doing.
Instead of getting off on the third floor, he heads up to the 5th floor to confront Kirishima, who's all alone in the Japun offices. He takes their being alone as good opportunity to gripe loudly at him, complaining about being embarrassed in front of everyone, but Kirishima is totally cool as a cucumber and just enjoys seeing Yokozawa get riled up. Yokozawa demands to see the photo, and Kirishima whips out his phone without protest, showing him the photo in question. He explains that the few nights before when Yokozawa had been at his apartment cooking with Hiyo, she'd sent him the image, and he'd been so taken by it that he couldn't help but want to show it off, telling everyone that Yokozawa was waiting at home with dinner for him; he even made it his wallpaper. After much arguing, Yokozawa finally gets Kirishima to agree to delete THAT photo (implying that it's fine to lose it because he's still got others as backup blackmail material).
Yokozawa then storms back to the sales department and tries to calm down, but there his subordinate Henmi makes an offhand comment that he seems really close with Kirishima lately, and wonders how they became friends. This is on the tail of several other people commenting similarly, which makes Yokozawa even more aware of the changes in him. Henmi says he seems to have gotten more relaxed since befriending Kirishima, that it's good for him, but this only makes Yokozawa feel even more confused.
Yokozawa makes a decision and sends a curt email that he won't be able to go to Kirishima's place that night and receives a simple 'okay' in response, without protest. He doesn't know whether to be offended or relieved that Kirishima isn't pressing the issue. At home, Sorata wants attention and is particularly needy, and Yokozawa feels bad for not being able to play with the cat lately. Later that evening, Hiyo sends an email as well, telling him 'Definitely come over tomorrow then! <3' which leaves Yokozawa feeling even worse about everything. While he would love certainly love to see Hiyo, he doesn't plan on going back to Kirishima's place for a while. He doesn't like how close he's gotten to Kirishima and wants to put some space between them, to settle his feelings. He can't understand why, but when it comes to Kirishima, he gets so worked up.
He makes himself cold noodles to eat with Sorata...and they don't taste good at all.
Chapter 5
Yokozawa heads home after a day spent working helping out at an idol event--they needed the help for one, but they also wanted someone with a scary face to help hold back the really zealous fans. While there, surrounded by tons of fangirls, he hadn't felt a single twinge of anything for them, and idly wonders offhand, '...Maybe I really am gay...'
Once inside, he calls out to Sorata and notices that the cat doesn't come to greet him, despite usually being very needy and wanting attention. He finds him on the sofa asleep and, at first, thinks he's perhaps just full from eating. He goes to refill Sorata's water, but finds that there's no food gone at all. At this, he starts to get worried--and remembers that he'd heard of similar cases of cats losing their appetite and seeming listless in the night...only to be found dead by morning. This increases his worry, and he decides to take Sorata to the vet clinic straight away.
While waiting for the check to finish, Hiyo and Kirishima show up, worried. On the way to the clinic, Yokozawa had been stressed and confused and had initially thought about calling Takano to let him know about the situation--but he eventually gave up on that decision. He didn't want Takano to feel even more pity for him, so instead, he called Kirishima, the only other person who might understand what was going on. While he's initially relieved to see them and grateful for their support, he soon feels regret. He knows it was a mistake to contact Kirishima, since while Sorata is precious to him, to others it seems a small thing to get worked up over. Yokozawa apologizes for having them come out 'just for a cat', and Kirishima berates him for treating Sorata like that, saying, "That cat's like your family, right?" At these words, Yokozawa feels tears start to well up inside, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to seem weak despite his worry for the closest thing he has to family right now. Hiyo tells him it'll be fine, that they're there to be with him and 'Sora-chan' will surely be okay.
The vet calls Yokozawa in to give his diagnosis--turns out Sorata's just fine, nothing wrong at all. He's just getting a bit up there in years, and urges Yokozawa to keep an eye on him for a bit just to be sure there's nothing out of the ordinary. Yokozawa is quite relieved and feels guilty for neglecting Sorata so much lately, with getting home late from work and not even being able to take him to visit Takano.
Outside, Hiyo asks how Sorata is, and Yokozawa explains that it was really nothing. He feels bad for calling them out like this, but Kirishima claps his shoulder and tells him not to worry about it. Yokozawa reflects that even though he called the both of them out late on a Sunday night, they neither one look put out at all and obviously came as quickly as they could. Kirishima asks what he was told to do, and Yokozawa responds that the doctor instructed him to keep an eye on Sorata for the time being, look after him a bit more closely. "Does that mean during the day, too?" Because Yokozawa has work, he of course can't be around all the time--but he also has no friends who can look after Sorata either, so he's kind of in a bind.
Hiyo waves hand in air, "I'll look after him!" She goes on to explain that Yokozawa should just let Sorata stay at their place for a little while, until he seems better. Kirishima agrees it's a good idea, but Yokozawa doesn't want to put them out, explaining that he needs to take responsibility, and that if she has to look after Sorata all the time, then she won't be able to play with her friends or go anywhere.
Hiyo is resolute, though, and Kirishima urges him to take her up on it. "...You're probably thinking that you don't want to cause us any more problems, right? Well I'll tell you this--it's not a problem at all. It's much more troubling to the both of us seeing you moping around." He then urges Yokozawa to just stay with them for a while as well--both him AND Sorata, a package. Yokozawa refuses at first, but Kirishima presses that they have the room, and he looks like shit, so it'll be better for all if Yokozawa takes them up on the offer. He reminds Yokozawa that Hiyo wants it too, and she chimes in excitedly, asking him to come stay with them. Yokozawa chides Kirishima, "...That's low, using Hiyo like that."
Kirishima says he'll use whatever's available, and to just get in the car--they'll swing by Yokozawa's place so he can get a change of clothes and pick up the catfood and whatnot. Despite all of this, though, Yokozawa still doesn't want to comply, so Kirishima pulls out the big guns: "This is an order. You know what that means, right?"
And that's how Yokozawa Takafumi winds up living with the Kirishimas for a while.
Chapter 6
Life in the Kirishima house is...interesting. Sorata is a much happier kitty now that he gets to play with Hiyo all the time, and he seems almost like a completely different animal. Yokozawa also finds himself waking up before his alarm clock when Hiyo comes bounding into his room and divebombs him, much to his painful stomach's dismay. After a week living there, though, he's started getting used to it, and he even has a toothbrush lined up with the others in the bathroom.
Hiyo comes in one morning to find him on the couch and hands him a brush, asking him to please do her hair. He asks what she wants, and since it's gym today, she wants a ponytail, complete with a scrunchie Yokozawa had bought for her. Kirishima looks on from where he sits beside Yokozawa on the couch, with Sorata on his lap, commenting on Yokozawa's skill at these technical things despite his appearance.
Hiyo goes to check herself in mirror after Yokozawa finishes, and Kirishima pours them coffee, having now figured out how Yokozawa takes his in the morning and preparing their mugs with minimal effort. He comments idly over their coffee that they're kinda like a newlywed couple like this-- he's the papa and Yokozawa's the mama. Yokozawa gets flustered and tells him to stop saying weird stuff like that, and Hiyo comes back wondering what's going on. Kirishima responds simply, "I was just saying it'd be nice if Yokozawa was our mama." Yokozawa berates him, telling not to tell children weird things, and Hiyo says that he's a man, so he'd be a papa, not a mama! Yokozawa cuts off the conversation, changing the topic quickly before Kirishima lets anything else inappropriate spill, and tells her to go finish getting ready or she'll be late for school, proceeding to remind her of important details like which shoes to wear and where he's put her gym clothes. When she finally leaves, Kirishima laughs and reaffirms, "...Yeah, you're definitely more suited to being a mama."
At work, the day's getting late but Yokozawa's work still isn't finished. He decides to take a smoke break to keep the cravings satisfied; he's been taking more at work lately because he doesn't smoke at Kirishima's place. In the smoking room, he runs into Takano of all people, looking really exhausted. Seeing him in this state, all alone, makes Yokozawa remember his feelings. He loved Takano--more than words could describe--but because he understood it was one-sided, he had never said anything. Yokozawa understands that he'd been the one to ask for time to recover before seeing each other again, but realizes that time doesn't really heal all wounds, and can still feel the pain of rejection even now.
He makes small talk, mostly about little things--how they're doing lately, how Sorata's doing--and Takano mentions offhandedly that he seems close with Kirishima lately. Yokozawa tries to brush it off, saying they're not friends and that he just gets dragged around by Kirishima, but Takano suggests that if he doesn't like being dragged around, then he should just turn down the invitations. Yokozawa clams up; he can't explain why they're close--because it'll touch on what happened the night he was dumped by Takano, and more than anything else he doesn't want Takano to know how low it brought him.
Takano lets it go and changes the subject--mentioning offhandedly that he had tried calling Yokozawa at home the night before, but couldn't get in touch. Did he get home really late or something? Yokozawa admits that he didn't go home the night before and apologizes if there was an emergency. Takano brushes it off, saying it was no big deal, and asks if he went to his parents' place; Yokozawa gives an ambiguous response and just lets him think that.
There are lots of awkward silences between them now, and in the end Takano breaks the silence with an apology. He's thought long and hard about their argument, and realizes that he was always relying too much on Yokozawa, complaining to him and all. He recognizes that his actions were really insensitive. Yokozawa thinks to himself, recalling that he's always loved this straight-forward side to Takano. He eventually brushes it off, "Seriously. You're the editor-in-chief of a shoujo manga magazine. Learn to read between the lines a little more," but he's mostly just trying to be strong in front of Takano.
They part ways, and Yokozawa makes himself add, "...Give my regards to Onodera," before leaving the smoking room, lying that he has to get back to work. Instead of returning to the sales department, he goes to find someplace else to smoke outside. He goes out onto an area of the roof, glad to have been able to stay so calm talking to Takano but realizing that even though he understands he has no hope of ever being with Takano...his love for the man hasn't changed one bit, and it still hurts, too much to be around him for too long.
He lights a cigarette...and hears the door behind him open. "You're like a high school kid trying to sneak a smoke during lessons." He doesn't even need to turn around to know who's behind him, and he grouses back, "Shut up."
He asks what Kirishima wants, and the man admits he doesn't really have anything but he's just trying to think of something; he then asks to bum a smoke. Yokozawa returns that he thought he'd quit, and Kirishima replies, "Sometimes I want to do something bad for my body." Yokozawa acquiesces and gives him a cigarette, and he asks for a light too. Yokozawa tells him to do it himself, passing the lighter, but Kirishima returns, "Nah, this'll do fine," and grabs him by the tie to pull him in, pressing the ends of their cigarettes together to light his.
Yokozawa is tense, and the seconds it takes for the cigarette to light feel immeasurably long. He can't help but focus on Kirishima's mouth right in front of him and wonders how many others know how he opens it wide when he laughs loudly, or who else knows that despite the way his fingers delicately hold the cigarette, he's actually quite clumsy?
Kirishima pulls away, taking a puff of the lit cigarette, and asks if anything's wrong--did something happen with Takano? Yokozawa grumpily accuses him of spying, and Kirishima returns evenly that if he didn't want others to see, he shouldn't have made that face in a public place. What face? Kirishima returns that Yokozawa knows full well what face he's talking about--that's why he's out here in the first place, right?
Yokozawa snaps that it's none of his business and asks to be left alone, but of course Kirishima says he can't do that. After all, if he does, the furrow between his brows will deepen again, just when Kirishima's finally gotten it to go away. Yokozawa is taken aback--he realizes that because he's spent all this time with Kirishima, he hasn't been alone with Takano at all and therefore hasn't had time to feel sorry for himself. Kirishima...has been protecting him, whether he realized it or not, and this realization shocks him. He's been dragging him around not to just annoy Yokozawa or tease him for his own fun, but to keep Yokozawa from drowning in his own self-pity.
Yokozawa laughs dryly that he didn't realize Kirishima cared that much about others, and Kirishima admits that sometimes he surprises even himself. Maybe it's because Yokozawa reminds him a little of himself. He turns slightly serious and tells Yokozawa to stop kicking himself over that failed first love. How did he know it was his first? Because Yokozawa told him when he was drunk--plus it's pretty obvious from the way he's worked up over it; if it were just any old relationship, he wouldn't be this much of a mess over the breakup.
Kirishima turns to him: "I'm going to say something harsh here: What you're feeling? That's dependence. 'I've got to be by his side, I've got to support him, I know him better than anyone else'. They're all things that you want someone else to feel for you." Yokozawa wants to be needed, wants to be supported, wants someone to know him better than anyone else. Yokozawa snaps at him that he doesn't know anything, but this is simply proof of the truth in Kirishima's words. "If you've never considered that before, then do it now. Why did you love him?"
Yokozawa refuses to put up with this any longer and barks at Kirishima to leave him alone, that it's annoying and Kirishima doesn't know him or his situation. Kirishima eventually relents, admitting that he indeed doesn't know all of Yokozawa, and gives a sad smile that makes Yokozawa's chest seize painfully--it's different from the pain of being rejected, because this comes from guilt.
He realizes that he's said something hurtful to someone who didn't deserve it and that he should apologize, but when he opens his mouth, what comes out instead is, "Just--get the hell away from me! Don't come around me any more! I don't want to see your face ever again!"
Kirishima stares for a moment, dumbfounded, and then just says, "...Fine then," and returns the cigarette and leaves. Yokozawa's chest hurts even more now, and he opens his mouth to stop him--but since he was the one to tell him to leave in the first place, he has no right to ask, and Kirishima probably wouldn't stop even if he did.
The sound of the door shutting behind him sounds, to Yokozawa, like Kirishima's rejection incarnate.
Chapter 7
After their fight, Yokozawa went to his own home and holed himself up away from the world, regretting what he'd said. Of course no calls came from Kirishima, but he'd still held out some hope. Now, he has an apple pie in hand and a bag of groceries...and is walking to their house. He knows that if he'd been in Kirishima's place, he would never have gotten involved in someone else's problems like that in the first place, definitely not a stranger's. But even though the lecture from Kirishima hurt, he understands that they were what he needed to hear and appreciates where they came from, what Kirishima's motivation had been in delivering them. Kirishima hadn't been thinking about anyone else but Yokozawa right then.
He still can't understand why Kirishima has been going out of his way like this for Yokozawa...but he's grateful for it all the same. He arrives at their house and takes a deep breath, steeling himself. He knows he has to do this--after all, he can't leave Sorata with them always, and has to thank Hiyo...but really, he's only here right now because he wants to see Kirishima. The entire day before, he'd only been able to think about Kirishima, and the horrible things Yokozawa had said to him, and how he wished he hadn't. Amazingly enough...he realizes he hadn't thought about Takano once the whole time--while his feelings of love haven't entirely vanished...he can safely classify them as part of his past.
He presses the buzzer, and the door immediately opens to reveal Hiyo, who excitedly greets him with "Oniichan!! Welcome home!!" Yokozawa feels guilty--he remembers when he too was so carefree as a child--and returns evenly, "I'm home." She asks if he had work today, as apparently Kirishima had told her he couldn't come over because of work (to explain why Yokozawa hadn't been staying with them). Yokozawa apologizes for worrying her and asks if she's going out somewhere--and she is, to play with a friend in the building. He gives her the apple pie to enjoy and tells her to go off and play with her friends (since she's had to stay with Sorata all the time), and he'll call her when dinner's ready.
Hiyo goes to leave, then asks for a favor. "Papa's not been feeling well since Friday...could you maybe try and talk to him? He won't tell me what happened..." At this, Yokozawa realizes she's talking about the night they fought. Yokozawa agrees to talk with him and sends her off.
He finds Kirishima out on the veranda drinking beer, and before Yokozawa even opens his mouth, he asks what he's come for, bitterly adding, "I thought you never wanted to see me again."
"I'm sorry...about the other day."
"What for?"
Yokozawa starts to get annoyed, but quickly calms himself down and apologizes properly. He got mad...because Kirishima had been right, and that fact had pissed him off. Kirishima brushes off his apology with a curt, "I see," and Yokozawa feels dejected, wondering aloud if that means he won't be forgiven.
"Forgive you? I'm not mad. You're the one who was mad--just like you said, I was being too nosy. I've always been like that, not knowing my boundaries." And indeed, in his words, Yokozawa doesn't feel any anger or irritation at all.
Yokozawa takes a breath. "...I'm grateful to you, you know."
"What, for the cat?"
"For Sorata--but, the reason I was able to face him then without running away...was all thanks to you." He purposefully avoids saying Takano's name, has avoided it from the beginning, but by this point they both well know who Yokozawa is talking about. "Before meeting you, if I'd run into him, I would never have been able to face him and probably would've turned tail and run." He knows that if he'd had to go through this all alone, it would have been horrible. The only reason he was able to get through it as well as he had was because Kirishima was by his side.
Kirishima returns that he surely would've been fine, even without Kirishima there. Yokozawa allows it, but goes on to say that if Kirishima hadn't been there for him, he probably would've been thinking about that person even now.
"...So what are you saying you're thinking of instead?" Yokozawa's throat goes dry--he hadn't expected that response, and he drops his gaze to the floor so that Kirishima doesn't see his blush rising. "...You don't have to say, if you don't want to." From this comment, it's apparent that he wasn't teasing Yokozawa then--he really did want to know.
"...out you..."
"What?"
"I was thinking about you dammit!" This seems to release the floodgates. "I've been doing nothing but thinking about you for the past two days! It's annoying as hell not being able to think about anything but YOU!" Kirishima is clearly shocked, and Yokozawa feels so embarrassed his face could light up in flames. "I kept...thinking how you had to be so pissed off at my saying those things to you. Th-that...you hated me now..." He trails off, embarrassed. When Kirishima doesn't say anything for a long while, Yokozawa turns on him, "Are you even listening to me?"
Kirishima quickly assuages his fears, assuring, "I am, I am! Just--you surprised me, and I thought maybe it was a dream..."
"Quit messing around!"
Kirishima is in slightly higher spirits now. "Yeah, I don't think I quite caught that--could you say it once more?"
Yokozawa gives up and goes to leave, his business being finished--but Kirishima stops him with a hand on the door. "You think I'm gonna let you leave, after you say something cute like that?" Yokozawa takes offense at being called cute all the time and says that Kirishima needs to get his eyes checked if he thinks someone like Yokozawa could ever be cute. "'First loves never last'...do you still feel like that?" Yokozawa stalls, recalling the words that he'd drunkenly blabbed to Kirishima when they first met. "...Just start over and fall in love again then! If you're in love properly from the very beginning, then isn't that in itself...your first true love?"
Yokozawa returns idly that maybe Kirishima's more fit for working in Emerald than Japun with lines like that. Kirishima tells him to say whatever he wants--it's obvious Yokozawa doesn't mind this sort of thing, and after all--he's already well in love with Kirishima, right? They may as well be in love with each other--they suit each other nicely. Kirishima then adds, "And I'll accept everything about you. You don't have to forget how you loved him before--I'll still take care of you." Yokozawa doesn't quite get the meaning... "I said I'd accept you unconditionally--you don't have to change at all."
And with those words, something wells up inside of Yokozawa and it feels like a weight's been lifted from his shoulders. He ducks his head in defeat. "...Just so you know, I come with a lot of baggage."
"I know."
"I'm moody, and it aggravates people."
"I said it's fine! And I kinda like that about you."
"I get jealous easily, and tend to feel unwanted."
"If you're confident that you're loved--then there's no reason for you to feel that way. And I'm perfectly fine with you being jealous. It's proof of how much you care."
All of his concerns are steadily being blown away by Kirishima. And he eventually summons up his strength. "...I won't forgive you if you toss me aside, you know." It's the best answer he can come up with right now.
They go back inside through Kirishima's room into the house, and Yokozawa goes to make dinner--but Kirishima shuts the door before he can leave and pushes Yokozawa onto the bed, sitting on top of him to keep him down. He confesses here, "...I lied to you." Eh? "...We didn't have sex that night. You puked on your suit and I sent it off to be dry cleaned, that's it. Though we did sleep in the same bed together. I just let you think how you would." Yokozawa is, suffice it to say, shocked, but Kirishima seems to think he deserves to be praised for his actions. "...Wasn't that nice of me? Not taking a meal set before me?"
Yokozawa is angry at being made fun of this way, but Kirishima just teases him--shouldn't he be relieved? Or would it have been better if they'd actually done it? He tells Yokozawa here that he wants to just start over: they have requited feelings now, obviously, so there's no reason to hold back anymore. Yokozawa flails and tells him to wait--and Kirishima is petulant, haven't they waited long enough? Yokozawa thought he'd been too dejected before--just moments ago he'd seemed really down, but Kirishima says he's feeling much better now that Yokozawa's here. Plus, he's pretty sure that if he lets Yokozawa off this time, he'll overthink things and run away.
"Who's running away?!" Yokozawa returns hotly, even though he knows it was a challenge, and even when Kirishima presses him about what he means when he says this, Yokozawa remains firm in his conviction not to walk away from this and eventually tells him to get on with it (since Kirishima had already started stripping him).
Kirishima first palms him through his pants before touching him--and his hand is wet when he grabs Yokozawa's cock, from some baby oil he had taken out from the night stand. He explains that he used to use it on Hiyo, who had dry skin as a baby, and Yokozawa groans and begs him not to bring up Hiyo at a time like this XD; Kirishima chuckles and apologizes: "Oh, well I'm so very sorry about that. I'll help you forget I even mentioned it..." Kirishima then proceeds to jerk him off, but after a moment, Yokozawa protests that he's the only one being touched, and Kirishima seems a bit surprised at the offer but gladly takes him up on it.
Lots of sexy bedroom banter follows, with Kirishima reminding Yokozawa that he's a really good person: "I don't think I could find anyone else as pure-hearted as you, seriously..." Yokozawa, however, is about tired of this mushy stuff, and returns in a challenging voice, "I'm gonna make it so you can't be this chatty..." He's blatantly intent on making Kirishima come first, one way or another. While they jerk each other off, each trying to one-up the other, Yokozawa can't stop focusing on Kirishima's lips--he really wants to kiss him, but can't bring himself to do it, and instead licks his lips unconsciously. Kirishima laughs at the action, "Is that an invitation?" Yokozawa hadn't realized what'd done, and tries to brush it off, but Kirishima kisses him first.
Kirishima's really good at kissing, as usual, and Yokozawa eventually breaks it off because it gets too intense. Kirishima is worried--is something wrong? Yokozawa assures him that no, nothing's wrong...though that in itself is kind of annoying. They go back to kissing, and Kirishima slowly moves his finger further down beneath Yokozawa and starts to finger him, surprising Yokozawa who protests at first but is quickly reminded by Kirishima not to stop jerking him off.
Kirishima keeps going, and Yokozawa eventually manages to tell him to stop more clearly. Kirishima is somewhat petulant: "What...you don't like it?" He admits that no, he doesn't really like people touching him there. Kirishima is genuinely shocked at this assertion and asks, "...Wait, don't tell me this is your...first time?" Yokozawa groans and flushes, "......................NO COMMENT."
He doesn't want Kirishima to know about his past, just as he also doesn't want to know about Kirishima's either, even though he does wonder. Kirishima lets it slide, saying that regardless of whether he's done it before or not, that doesn't change what's happening now--and he'll be gentle. Yokozawa snorts derisively, at the promise, putting little stock into it, and Kirishima warns, "Does that attitude mean you want me to tease you some more then?"
He continues his preparation--until Yokozawa tells him it's enough, to get on with it. He's pretty close already and if Kirishima keeps it up he's going to wind up climaxing before they've even done anything.
Kirishima's a bit put out, "I really wish you'd say that in a more sexy manner..." But Yokozawa reminds him, "Just hurry up and decide if you're gonna do it or not--though I wouldn't mind sticking it in you instead."
Kirishima has no problem with this idea either! "I definitely don't mind if you want to." He leans in close. "But for today, let me do you. I want to come inside you..." He apologizes, just as he's ready to start--as he doesn't have a condom. Yokozawa protests this at first, but they go through with it anyways. Kirishima eventually seats himself inside Yokozawa and asks if he feels okay. Yokozawa, through grit teeth, warns coldly, "If you....come inside me.....I swear I'll fucking kill you..."
Kirishima asks here, "I'll ask you something underhanded but....what was it like when you were with Takano?" The whole book Yokozawa refused to tell him who had dumped him (not wanting to get either of them in trouble at work), but Kirishima's a smart cookie and has slowly been putting the pieces together. At this, Yokozawa is again NO COMMENT, and Kirishima shrugs, "I guess it doesn't really matter then. You both look like bottoms to me..." (using the word 'neko'/cat for bottom XD) Yokozawa responds, "I'm pretty sure...everyone...looks like that to you." If he thinks YOKOZAWA looks cute, he must think everyone does and therefore think that everyone is a bottom.
Kirishima returns smoothly, "I'm talking about on the INSIDE. Or what--are you saying I'm such a hottie sex magnet you don't mind my fucking you even though I'm a guy?"
"THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT."
Sensing that Yokozawa's got plenty of fight left in him, Kirishima starts pounding into him in earnest, telling Yokozawa it's fine to cry out more since Hiyo isn't there, and when Yokozawa refuses, he adds, "Though the sight of you holding back really turns me on as well..."
Shortly, Yokozawa climaxes, and even though he told Kirishima not to come inside of him, the guy does of course. Yokozawa is not happy. Kirishima apologizes blithely, saying he couldn't hold back, and Yokozawa gripes at him that he'll have to take care of the cleanup. Kirishima agrees without protest, but not before adding, "But--can we go one more time first?" Yokozawa tells him to go die, and Kirishima laughs and kisses him to make him shut up.
Yokozawa takes a shower, then tells Kirishima to take one too and wonders how they'll explain to Hiyo why they took showers in the middle of the day when it's not summer or anything.
He remembers now and asks Kirishima again about the photos--since they hadn't done anything, what were they after all? Kirishima whips out his cell phone and shows the files without hesitation--all of them are just pictures of Yokozawa sleeping peacefully, a little red around the eyes from the booze.
Yokozawa threatens to sue the pants off of him for blackmail, and Kirishima just says, "Go ahead--I'll just say I couldn't help myself wanting to take pictures of my cute lover." Yokozawa protests, but his words are cut off by Kirishima. "...Blushing over something like this, you really are cute. I'll just have to keep saying them until you get used to it, I suppose." Yokozawa tells him to cut it out--but deep down, he really isn't that unhappy with it. "Don't be shy--my love is deep, you know. I'll definitely make you happy."
"Seriously?"
"Have I ever not been able to accomplish something once I've said I would?" After all, Kirishima is known to be a hit-maker in Marukawa, so what he says must be true.
Yokozawa still isn't sure how to face Hiyo--Kirishima says that it's fine if they just treat her the same as usual, but Yokozawa is unconvinced. He remains worried that she might be confused at her father taking a lover--especially a male one, and especially Yokozawa, who she knows. Kirishima is unruffled as always: "It's fine--she's my daughter after all! She doesn't have a bigoted bone in her body!" Yokozawa still warns him not to reveal anything to her, and he contends that it's up to Yokozawa whether that happens or not--then laughs that he's only playing with him when he reacts to it.
Yokozawa glares at Kirishima out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he's made the right decision, and then sighs and goes back to making dinner.
[THE END]
LONG LIVE TRIFECTA! You've officially outdone Nostalgia, Domestica, and Erotica for MOST AWESOME SH PAIRING!!
GO DOWNLOAD THE ACTUAL NOVEL IN ENGLISH FROM HERE. This is a crappy summary that does a disservice to the actual novel. Go dedicate an afternoon to getting your read on :P
Chapter 1
Yokozawa wakes up in a hotel room, with no memory of the previous evening or how he got there--or most importantly, who's in the shower. Kirishima comes out, beautiful in a bathrobe (unf!) and they talk about what happened--Yokozawa can't remember anything, and Kirishima seems amused at this and deliberately avoids telling him the truth, letting Yokozawa worry in his own mind about what happened. Yokozawa is mostly preoccupied with what he thinks is the biggest problem: was he on top...or bottom? He hesitantly questions Kirishima if he's gay, as Yokozawa definitely doesn't consider himself to be (he's only ever felt anything for Takano). Kirishima admits that he "can go either way"; he just likes strong-willed people, regardless of gender, and loves teasing them. Yokozawa notices a ring on Kirishima's ring finger--but says nothing of it.
He recalls slowly that he was really drunk last night after being dumped by Takano, when Kirishima had run into him at a bar, and asks about the bill for their drinks--hoping he didn't eat and run or anything. Kirishima says he paid for the both of them, and pulls out a long receipt showing just how much it all cost (hint: a lot). Yokozawa's kind of shocked (Kirishima: "I told you to take it easy, but would you listen? Noooo~") and given that he's low on cash on hand, Kirishima offers to pay at least half, since it was partly his own fault too. But Yokozawa is resolute that he definitely doesn't want to build a debt to Kirishima any more than he already has--he doesn't want to get involved any further. Kirishima ultimately agrees to let him pay it all, but only on the condition that Yokozawa...be his bitch, pretty much. That means not giving him any trouble about book orders in the future and to do whatever Kirishima asks, including but not limited to hanging out outside of work. Yokozawa doesn't want to and tries to refuse--but Kirishima threatens then to 'accidentally' leak some risque photos he took of their night together XD He refuses to let Yokozawa see them, but says he'll let Yokozawa off the hook eventually. "Probably when I get tired of being your master."
With that, Kirishima leaves for work and tells Yokozawa he had his suit dry-cleaned and that he should sleep off his hangover some more. Yokozawa eventually leaves later and heads home to feed Sorata and change before heading in to work.
If you've read chapter 10 of Onodera Ritsu no Baai, you know what comes next! It's the whole scene where Ritsu and Yokozawa talk and Yokozawa asks Ritsu point blank if he loves Takano. Ritsu answers to the affirmative, and Yokozawa grudgingly accepts him.
At work, there's an upcoming campaign for Za Kan work, and the sales department is waiting on some data from the Japun people (aka Kirishima's people). He sends Henmi, a subordinate, to go to the Japun section to see what's taking so long--but Kirishima shows up right then and promptly invites Yokozawa out for drinks in front of everyone. Yokozawa has no choice but to go, he eventually realizes after Kirishima asks blithely, "Whaaat? Have you already forgotten about this mo--" before getting quickly cut off by a frantic Yokozawa XD
They wind up chatting at a bar. Yokozawa asks grumpily why he's being so persistent in going out with Yokozawa when he has plenty of people in the company he could probably have here with him who are far better company than Yokozawa. Kirishima responds simply, "Didn't I tell you? I like teasing prideful guys like you." He then goes on to tell Yokozawa to have more confidence in himself--he does good work, and he's not bad on the eyes. Yokozawa objects to this, and Kirishima teases a bit more, further unsettling him.
Yokozawa excuses himself to go to the bathroom and be alone for a moment. He reflects and sighs, defeated, realizing that Kirishima's personality and attitude totally throw him off. His only real choice in dealing with this guy is to just wait til Kirishima gets tired of him.
Back at the bar, Kirishima suggests they leave, as it's getting late--and oh, he already paid. Yokozawa is furious again--he didn't want to build up more debt to Kirishima and this is the exact opposite of it. Kirishima considers this, and after a few moments, he ultimately agrees: fine, he'll let Yokozawa pay. He reaches forward, grabs Yokozawa by the tie, and then promptly lays one on him right on the sidewalk in front of the bar. The kiss is quite good--so much so that its intensity makes Yokozawa go boneless, and after Kirishima lets him up, he has to lean against the signpost because his legs won't support him. Kirishima smiles deviously, delivers a light-hearted 'gochisousama~' (phrase spoken after eating a delicious meal), and then heads home.
Chapter 2
While walking to Marimo Books, Yokozawa reflects on how he met and fell in love with Takano. They'd been simple friends initially, with Yokozawa caring for him during his rough times, but over time, he grew close with Takano, grew to care for him deeply until he realized he was spending more time with him than with his girlfriend. Then, one night, they got drunk and slept together. Even though Yokozawa knew that Takano regretted it, the experience also made him recognize his own feelings--he was in love with Takano, in the romantic sense, not just as close friends.
He stops in at Marimo Books some and talks to Yukina for a bit before seeking out the manager, who's a fan of Za Kan, to discuss some upcoming sales campaigns. The manager tells him to give thanks to the editor of the books, and Yokozawa agrees without thinking--before realizing that means Kirishima (the main editor for Za Kan, not to be confused with the sub-editor who's shown up in JR recently).
Over the next few days, Kirishima does as Kirishima will do and goads Yokozawa into accompanying him for after-work drinks and dinners. He goes out with Kirishima almost every day and is, much to his horror, actually steadily getting used to the guy's carefree attitude and atmosphere that has grated up until now. Coworkers at Marukawa even notice this change in the way they act around each other and ask him about Kirishima's whereabouts sometimes, sensing that they're 'friends'. However, even though he does feel as if he's getting more comfortable around Kirishima and recognizes that he's good at his job and not as annoying to others as he is to Yokozawa, he's still not sure about the guy's ulterior motives, why he really insists on hanging out with Yokozawa. Whenever they talk, he'll sometimes give half-assed answers and ambiguous replies to some of Yokozawa's questions, almost purposefully avoiding the topics.
One day, he realizes he needs some data from Emerald and heads up to the 4th floor--to find there's a lot of excitement in the air. When he asks about the commotion, one of the girls near him answers in an excited squeal, "TAKANO-SAN AND ONODERA-SAN SLEPT TOGETHER IN A DOUBLE BED ON A BUSINESS TRIP!" <--YUP XD We have now arrived at Chapter 11 XDDD She goes on to discuss this with a fellow coworker, commenting, "Onodera-kun looks absolutely exhausted, and Takano-san refuses to say what happened at night! Isn't that suspicious?!" This then segues into lots of BL fangirling where they try to determine who's seme and who's uke (USING THOSE TERMS), and conclude that duh Takano is totally seme. Yes indeed girls, duh :P Yokozawa rolls his eyes, convinced they wouldn't be nearly as ecstatic if it was more than fantasy and they knew that Takano and Onodera really did have a relationship going on--he recalls that the Sapphire offices are on the same floor, and chalks up all the gossip to that.
He heads back to the sales dept, only to find that there's also a lot of excitement here as well, but not for a good reason. Za Kan is getting made into a movie, and apparently some of the information (such as release date, cast info, etc.) has been leaked ahead of time, and is making its way around the Internet. Yokozawa is furious at first--until he realizes it was his own fault; he'd sent a fax to a book store with pertinent information accidentally on the day that he'd been dumped by Takano. His lack of focus after such a shock had led him to make this mistake, and he regrets it deeply.
He goes to apologize to Za Kan people, but Kirishima has already arrived at the sales offices and calls Yokozawa out into a small meeting room so they can talk. He gripes at Yokozawa for being all bark and no bite, saying he'd thought he was a much more competent person than this. Yokozawa apologizes, admitting that he really feels horrible and knows it was all his fault. Seeing this, Kirishima says "...Stop looking like a kid who just got caught doing something naughty. I only wanted to tease you." Turns out he isn't mad at all--though he has been considerably inconvenienced, and warns Yokozawa not to do it again or his standing's going to plummet. It's fine--things will work out. Yokozawa is, suffice it to say, shocked.
"But, how?! How are things going to work out" Kirishima responds, suggesting, "Just--play it up as an advance marketing ploy; say you leaked a little info to get people excited." Yokozawa is wary: "Are you...covering for me?" Kirishima chuckles, "What else does it look like? Be grateful. Oh, and you've just chalked up another debt, by the way."
He then teases Yokozawa a bit more, trying to draw out a proper, polite, 'I'm sorry', but Yokozawa refuses, blushing at being covered for this way, and this just makes Kirishima even happier to have gotten to see this side to him. He then changes the subject and tells Yokozawa to come have dinner with him. This time--Yokozawa agrees without protest.
After work finishes, Yokozawa and Kirishima are walking to their destination. "So where are we going?" Yokozawa asks, but Kirishima is mute, reminding him happily, "You'll find out when we get there. I'm gonna let you eat the best food you've ever had in your life, so look forward to it~" Kirishima is obviously in higher spirits than usual, and they seem to be going away from the station, so they're obviously not going anywhere not-local to eat.
Shortly, they arrive in front of an apartment building and take the elevator up. Yokozawa first wonders if perhaps one of the floors has been made into some sort of food court, but then he quickly realizes once they get off the elevator that it's in fact Kirishima's apartment. They open the door, and Kirishima calls out, "I'm home, Hiyo!" A light voice greets back, "Welcome back Papa! Oh, you have a guest?"
Yokozawa is quite taken aback--Kirishima urges his daughter to introduce herself, which she does, politely introducing herself as Kirishima Hiyori. Yokozawa introduces himself similarly, and she asks if it's okay for her to call him 'Yokozawa Oniichan', which he allows after some hesitation. Kirishima, watching this all with amusement, then reminds Yokozawa of the present he brought for Hiyo--before leaving the office, Kirishima had told Yokozawa to go buy a special brand of green tea candies from a shop near the station. They turn out to be Hiyo's favorite, and she thanks him profusely, as she assumes that Yokozawa bought it for her of his own will, not knowing her father's devious plan XD Kirishima has tricked his daughter into loving Yokozawa right off the bat. BADASS DADDY!
Hiyo has curry cooking and returns to the kitchen, and Yokozawa comments that she's quite cute. Kirishima says she takes after her mother--which of course subsequently leads to questions about his wife, with Yokozawa assuming that since he's got a wedding ring and a kid, there's gotta be a woman around--which means Kirishima was cheating on her with Yokozawa. But, all is not as it seems, and apparently she died of sickness years back. Kirishima is a bit miffed, "Geez, use your head; do you really think I'd have cheated on my wife with you?" Yokozawa protests, "Well I couldn't tell--you've still got your ring on after all!" Kirishima glances down at it, then admits he really only wears it to keep authors from asking too many questions. He eyes Yokozawa with a smile and asks if he's jealous? He doesn't mind taking it off at all--and if Yokozawa wants him to, all he has to do is say so and he'll do it. Yokozawa doesn't rise to the bait :P
They pile into the dining are and sit down for dinner, discussing Kirishima's and his daughter's life together--when Kirishima has to stay at the office late, Hiyo stays with Kirishima's parents who live nearby. Hiyo offers Yokozawa tea or beer to drink, and Yokozawa takes the tea despite Kirishima's suggestion of beer ("It's a weekend tomorrow! You can let loose a little--and if you get too smashed, just stay the night!") because he doesn't want to stay over. Hiyo is devastated, urging him to stay the night, but Yokozawa uses Sorata as an excuse, saying that he can't stay over because he has to take care of his cat who's getting up there in years and shouldn't be left alone too long. This then leads to lots of questions about Sorata, Hiyo wants to know all about him, as she loves kitties! Hearing her go on about how much she wants a cat (coupled with Kirishima's very parental, "Well you can have one as soon as I believe you'll take proper care of it!"), Yokozawa opens his mouth...and suddenly offers to let her come over and see Sorata whenever she wants. Even though he knows deep down that that also means he'll get closer with Kirishima--he just can't turn down Hiyo when she's looking that cute.
He adds, as an addendum, that this all of course depends on whether or not her father will let her, and Kirishima smiles and says sure she can go--if she gets good grades, which leads to the revelation that poor Hiyo is very bad at math. Her fire dies a bit, and she grumbles that she'll try...and this of course prompts totallywantstobeHiyo'smother!Yokozawa to AGAIN open his big mouth and offers to help her study, as he was a home tutor in college.
Hiyo realizes she's forgotten to make them salad and runs into the kitchen, at which point Kirishima and Yokozawa talk some more about how he's good with kids. Kirishima smiles and reminds him, "Well, be nice to her." Yokozawa is dubious: "You really want me to be nice to her? What if I come up to you later and tell you Hiyo and I are getting married?" He thinks this will throw Kirishima off, but alas, he is dead wrong, as Kirishima jumps right on his train of thought and comes back with, "Hmm, yeah...you're gay, after all. It'd wind up an unrequited love for Hiyo then, huh... Ah well, such is life." Yokozawa is grossly offended, spouting out in response, "I AM NOT GAY!"
After dinner, a nervous Hiyo asks for comments on their meal. Kirishima is, of course, all smiles. "Yokozawa--Hiyo's curry was delicious, isn't it?" Yokozawa can't help smiling softly himself, and nods, "...Yeah. Definitely the best in the world"...just like Kirishima had promised him he would have that evening <3333
Chapter 3
A couple of weeks later, Yokozawa is at work after most everyone has left, waiting on Kirishima to call. They've been going home together to Kirishima's place a lot lately, so it's kind of become commonplace for Yokozawa to wait for Kirishima to say he's finished, but...the call isn't coming today.
He does realize it's the end of the cycle, though, and that Kirishima's probably really busy, so that means they won't be able to go tonight. He decides to go see Kirishima himself to give him the present Yokozawa had bought for Hiyo (some colorful macarons at a department store; it's become habit now for him to treat Hiyo like this).
Unfortunately, Kirishima is absolutely swamped with work when he arrives, waiting for a final manuscript to submit because the author was late since her dog got sick and had to be taken to the hospital. Yokozawa wants to tell him he's in this situation because he's soft on his authors like that, but Kirishima cuts him off, saying, "I know what you want to say--but all I had to do was think what if it had been Hiyo? and I couldn't help but sympathize."
He then tells Yokozawa he can go ahead to Kirishima's place by himself, but Yokozawa isn't so sure that's a good idea. Kirishima asks if he has other plans or something, and when Yokozawa says he doesn't really, he prods again why he can't just go to be with Hiyo himself. Yokozawa hedges that it's because... Kirishima isn't there with him, so it seems strange to go into another person's house while they're not there. At that point, Kirishima practically begs him to go and be with Hiyo, because his parents have left to go on a trip and she's there by herself (couldn't be helped!). Yokozawa immediately springs to action, berating him for leaving her alone, and snatches up the key he offers lightning quick, hurrying home.
At Kirishima's place, he finds Hiyo doing just fine, and they share a rather pleasant evening cooking a meal and chatting. Hiyo very obviously enjoys being with Yokozawa, and before long they are gabbing and giggling like close friends, with Yokozawa truly happy and smiling, making fun of her and enjoying seeing her cute mad face.
Kirishima comes home much later, after midnight, and finds Hiyo in bed, sound asleep. He thanks Yokozawa again, relating that he feels bad for leaving her alone (and doubting himself as a parent as well), and Yokozawa kind of comforts him, telling him not to worry so much--it's part of the job (late days), and if he's so worried about her, then he should spoil her when he can and tell her if he's worried about anything.
He changes the subject quickly, all too conscious of the way the atmosphere changes between them when they're alone for too long together, and asks if Kirishima has eaten, to which Kirishima replies nope, he's starving. Yokozawa reminds him he should've had someone go out and buy something even if he had to work late, but Kirishima admits he held off because he wanted to eat the nikujaga that Yokozawa and Hiyo were making (Hiyo had sent him a text telling him they were doing this). This reminds Yokozawa of their conversation earlier, and he remarks that Hiyo said her father was horrible with cooking, that he couldn't even peel an apple. Yokozawa chuckls, "What are you intending to do when Hiyo goes off and gets married?"
Kirishima considers this, before replying, "Then...I guess I'll just have you cook for me. I'm looking forward to your pudding and stewed pork."
Yokozawa protests that he only said he'd make those for Hiyo, not Kirishima, and Kirishima laughs at him, This then prompts him to get even more annoyed, asking why he's laughing, but Kirishima refuses to tell. "It's a secret. If I told you, you'd get mad." He then thinks for a moment and adds, "...But if you promise not to get mad, I'll tell you." Yokozawa brushes him off, saying he doesn't care anymore, even though Kirishima looks like he really wants to tell Yokozawa.
Noting the late hour, Yokozawa goes to leave. Kirishima tries to convince him to stay, but he refuses--because of Sorata. The trains have stopped running, so he'll take a taxi--and Kirishima tries to give him money for looking after Hiyo. Yokozawa definitely doesn't want that and tries to object, saying he didn't do this because he wanted money, but Kirishima is firm and pushes the money into his hands anyways, telling him to take it, use it, and if it bugs him so much, then sell a boatload of books so that Kirishima gets a raise. Yokozawa ultimately complies and leaves quickly.
As he leaves, he realizes that his heart is racing and that he can still feel like burns everywhere Kirishima touched him.
Chapter 4
Yokozawa goes into work the next Monday, thinking about the dull start every week has. As he enters the Marukawa building, he starts to notice he's getting lots of strange stares--which make him feel nervous. He boards the elevator to go up to the third floor and overhears two coworkers who don't notice him talking and laughing--about a photo. Yokozawa ignores it at first...but then his name comes up. He quickly confronts them, frantic at first, fearing that it's the risque ones Kirishima took of him, but after much ado, they tell him it's just a funny picture of Yokozawa in a red and white polka-dot apron peeling a potato. He doesn't even have to think about it, he immediately knows it's Kirishima's doing.
Instead of getting off on the third floor, he heads up to the 5th floor to confront Kirishima, who's all alone in the Japun offices. He takes their being alone as good opportunity to gripe loudly at him, complaining about being embarrassed in front of everyone, but Kirishima is totally cool as a cucumber and just enjoys seeing Yokozawa get riled up. Yokozawa demands to see the photo, and Kirishima whips out his phone without protest, showing him the photo in question. He explains that the few nights before when Yokozawa had been at his apartment cooking with Hiyo, she'd sent him the image, and he'd been so taken by it that he couldn't help but want to show it off, telling everyone that Yokozawa was waiting at home with dinner for him; he even made it his wallpaper. After much arguing, Yokozawa finally gets Kirishima to agree to delete THAT photo (implying that it's fine to lose it because he's still got others as backup blackmail material).
Yokozawa then storms back to the sales department and tries to calm down, but there his subordinate Henmi makes an offhand comment that he seems really close with Kirishima lately, and wonders how they became friends. This is on the tail of several other people commenting similarly, which makes Yokozawa even more aware of the changes in him. Henmi says he seems to have gotten more relaxed since befriending Kirishima, that it's good for him, but this only makes Yokozawa feel even more confused.
Yokozawa makes a decision and sends a curt email that he won't be able to go to Kirishima's place that night and receives a simple 'okay' in response, without protest. He doesn't know whether to be offended or relieved that Kirishima isn't pressing the issue. At home, Sorata wants attention and is particularly needy, and Yokozawa feels bad for not being able to play with the cat lately. Later that evening, Hiyo sends an email as well, telling him 'Definitely come over tomorrow then! <3' which leaves Yokozawa feeling even worse about everything. While he would love certainly love to see Hiyo, he doesn't plan on going back to Kirishima's place for a while. He doesn't like how close he's gotten to Kirishima and wants to put some space between them, to settle his feelings. He can't understand why, but when it comes to Kirishima, he gets so worked up.
He makes himself cold noodles to eat with Sorata...and they don't taste good at all.
Chapter 5
Yokozawa heads home after a day spent working helping out at an idol event--they needed the help for one, but they also wanted someone with a scary face to help hold back the really zealous fans. While there, surrounded by tons of fangirls, he hadn't felt a single twinge of anything for them, and idly wonders offhand, '...Maybe I really am gay...'
Once inside, he calls out to Sorata and notices that the cat doesn't come to greet him, despite usually being very needy and wanting attention. He finds him on the sofa asleep and, at first, thinks he's perhaps just full from eating. He goes to refill Sorata's water, but finds that there's no food gone at all. At this, he starts to get worried--and remembers that he'd heard of similar cases of cats losing their appetite and seeming listless in the night...only to be found dead by morning. This increases his worry, and he decides to take Sorata to the vet clinic straight away.
While waiting for the check to finish, Hiyo and Kirishima show up, worried. On the way to the clinic, Yokozawa had been stressed and confused and had initially thought about calling Takano to let him know about the situation--but he eventually gave up on that decision. He didn't want Takano to feel even more pity for him, so instead, he called Kirishima, the only other person who might understand what was going on. While he's initially relieved to see them and grateful for their support, he soon feels regret. He knows it was a mistake to contact Kirishima, since while Sorata is precious to him, to others it seems a small thing to get worked up over. Yokozawa apologizes for having them come out 'just for a cat', and Kirishima berates him for treating Sorata like that, saying, "That cat's like your family, right?" At these words, Yokozawa feels tears start to well up inside, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to seem weak despite his worry for the closest thing he has to family right now. Hiyo tells him it'll be fine, that they're there to be with him and 'Sora-chan' will surely be okay.
The vet calls Yokozawa in to give his diagnosis--turns out Sorata's just fine, nothing wrong at all. He's just getting a bit up there in years, and urges Yokozawa to keep an eye on him for a bit just to be sure there's nothing out of the ordinary. Yokozawa is quite relieved and feels guilty for neglecting Sorata so much lately, with getting home late from work and not even being able to take him to visit Takano.
Outside, Hiyo asks how Sorata is, and Yokozawa explains that it was really nothing. He feels bad for calling them out like this, but Kirishima claps his shoulder and tells him not to worry about it. Yokozawa reflects that even though he called the both of them out late on a Sunday night, they neither one look put out at all and obviously came as quickly as they could. Kirishima asks what he was told to do, and Yokozawa responds that the doctor instructed him to keep an eye on Sorata for the time being, look after him a bit more closely. "Does that mean during the day, too?" Because Yokozawa has work, he of course can't be around all the time--but he also has no friends who can look after Sorata either, so he's kind of in a bind.
Hiyo waves hand in air, "I'll look after him!" She goes on to explain that Yokozawa should just let Sorata stay at their place for a little while, until he seems better. Kirishima agrees it's a good idea, but Yokozawa doesn't want to put them out, explaining that he needs to take responsibility, and that if she has to look after Sorata all the time, then she won't be able to play with her friends or go anywhere.
Hiyo is resolute, though, and Kirishima urges him to take her up on it. "...You're probably thinking that you don't want to cause us any more problems, right? Well I'll tell you this--it's not a problem at all. It's much more troubling to the both of us seeing you moping around." He then urges Yokozawa to just stay with them for a while as well--both him AND Sorata, a package. Yokozawa refuses at first, but Kirishima presses that they have the room, and he looks like shit, so it'll be better for all if Yokozawa takes them up on the offer. He reminds Yokozawa that Hiyo wants it too, and she chimes in excitedly, asking him to come stay with them. Yokozawa chides Kirishima, "...That's low, using Hiyo like that."
Kirishima says he'll use whatever's available, and to just get in the car--they'll swing by Yokozawa's place so he can get a change of clothes and pick up the catfood and whatnot. Despite all of this, though, Yokozawa still doesn't want to comply, so Kirishima pulls out the big guns: "This is an order. You know what that means, right?"
And that's how Yokozawa Takafumi winds up living with the Kirishimas for a while.
Chapter 6
Life in the Kirishima house is...interesting. Sorata is a much happier kitty now that he gets to play with Hiyo all the time, and he seems almost like a completely different animal. Yokozawa also finds himself waking up before his alarm clock when Hiyo comes bounding into his room and divebombs him, much to his painful stomach's dismay. After a week living there, though, he's started getting used to it, and he even has a toothbrush lined up with the others in the bathroom.
Hiyo comes in one morning to find him on the couch and hands him a brush, asking him to please do her hair. He asks what she wants, and since it's gym today, she wants a ponytail, complete with a scrunchie Yokozawa had bought for her. Kirishima looks on from where he sits beside Yokozawa on the couch, with Sorata on his lap, commenting on Yokozawa's skill at these technical things despite his appearance.
Hiyo goes to check herself in mirror after Yokozawa finishes, and Kirishima pours them coffee, having now figured out how Yokozawa takes his in the morning and preparing their mugs with minimal effort. He comments idly over their coffee that they're kinda like a newlywed couple like this-- he's the papa and Yokozawa's the mama. Yokozawa gets flustered and tells him to stop saying weird stuff like that, and Hiyo comes back wondering what's going on. Kirishima responds simply, "I was just saying it'd be nice if Yokozawa was our mama." Yokozawa berates him, telling not to tell children weird things, and Hiyo says that he's a man, so he'd be a papa, not a mama! Yokozawa cuts off the conversation, changing the topic quickly before Kirishima lets anything else inappropriate spill, and tells her to go finish getting ready or she'll be late for school, proceeding to remind her of important details like which shoes to wear and where he's put her gym clothes. When she finally leaves, Kirishima laughs and reaffirms, "...Yeah, you're definitely more suited to being a mama."
At work, the day's getting late but Yokozawa's work still isn't finished. He decides to take a smoke break to keep the cravings satisfied; he's been taking more at work lately because he doesn't smoke at Kirishima's place. In the smoking room, he runs into Takano of all people, looking really exhausted. Seeing him in this state, all alone, makes Yokozawa remember his feelings. He loved Takano--more than words could describe--but because he understood it was one-sided, he had never said anything. Yokozawa understands that he'd been the one to ask for time to recover before seeing each other again, but realizes that time doesn't really heal all wounds, and can still feel the pain of rejection even now.
He makes small talk, mostly about little things--how they're doing lately, how Sorata's doing--and Takano mentions offhandedly that he seems close with Kirishima lately. Yokozawa tries to brush it off, saying they're not friends and that he just gets dragged around by Kirishima, but Takano suggests that if he doesn't like being dragged around, then he should just turn down the invitations. Yokozawa clams up; he can't explain why they're close--because it'll touch on what happened the night he was dumped by Takano, and more than anything else he doesn't want Takano to know how low it brought him.
Takano lets it go and changes the subject--mentioning offhandedly that he had tried calling Yokozawa at home the night before, but couldn't get in touch. Did he get home really late or something? Yokozawa admits that he didn't go home the night before and apologizes if there was an emergency. Takano brushes it off, saying it was no big deal, and asks if he went to his parents' place; Yokozawa gives an ambiguous response and just lets him think that.
There are lots of awkward silences between them now, and in the end Takano breaks the silence with an apology. He's thought long and hard about their argument, and realizes that he was always relying too much on Yokozawa, complaining to him and all. He recognizes that his actions were really insensitive. Yokozawa thinks to himself, recalling that he's always loved this straight-forward side to Takano. He eventually brushes it off, "Seriously. You're the editor-in-chief of a shoujo manga magazine. Learn to read between the lines a little more," but he's mostly just trying to be strong in front of Takano.
They part ways, and Yokozawa makes himself add, "...Give my regards to Onodera," before leaving the smoking room, lying that he has to get back to work. Instead of returning to the sales department, he goes to find someplace else to smoke outside. He goes out onto an area of the roof, glad to have been able to stay so calm talking to Takano but realizing that even though he understands he has no hope of ever being with Takano...his love for the man hasn't changed one bit, and it still hurts, too much to be around him for too long.
He lights a cigarette...and hears the door behind him open. "You're like a high school kid trying to sneak a smoke during lessons." He doesn't even need to turn around to know who's behind him, and he grouses back, "Shut up."
He asks what Kirishima wants, and the man admits he doesn't really have anything but he's just trying to think of something; he then asks to bum a smoke. Yokozawa returns that he thought he'd quit, and Kirishima replies, "Sometimes I want to do something bad for my body." Yokozawa acquiesces and gives him a cigarette, and he asks for a light too. Yokozawa tells him to do it himself, passing the lighter, but Kirishima returns, "Nah, this'll do fine," and grabs him by the tie to pull him in, pressing the ends of their cigarettes together to light his.
Yokozawa is tense, and the seconds it takes for the cigarette to light feel immeasurably long. He can't help but focus on Kirishima's mouth right in front of him and wonders how many others know how he opens it wide when he laughs loudly, or who else knows that despite the way his fingers delicately hold the cigarette, he's actually quite clumsy?
Kirishima pulls away, taking a puff of the lit cigarette, and asks if anything's wrong--did something happen with Takano? Yokozawa grumpily accuses him of spying, and Kirishima returns evenly that if he didn't want others to see, he shouldn't have made that face in a public place. What face? Kirishima returns that Yokozawa knows full well what face he's talking about--that's why he's out here in the first place, right?
Yokozawa snaps that it's none of his business and asks to be left alone, but of course Kirishima says he can't do that. After all, if he does, the furrow between his brows will deepen again, just when Kirishima's finally gotten it to go away. Yokozawa is taken aback--he realizes that because he's spent all this time with Kirishima, he hasn't been alone with Takano at all and therefore hasn't had time to feel sorry for himself. Kirishima...has been protecting him, whether he realized it or not, and this realization shocks him. He's been dragging him around not to just annoy Yokozawa or tease him for his own fun, but to keep Yokozawa from drowning in his own self-pity.
Yokozawa laughs dryly that he didn't realize Kirishima cared that much about others, and Kirishima admits that sometimes he surprises even himself. Maybe it's because Yokozawa reminds him a little of himself. He turns slightly serious and tells Yokozawa to stop kicking himself over that failed first love. How did he know it was his first? Because Yokozawa told him when he was drunk--plus it's pretty obvious from the way he's worked up over it; if it were just any old relationship, he wouldn't be this much of a mess over the breakup.
Kirishima turns to him: "I'm going to say something harsh here: What you're feeling? That's dependence. 'I've got to be by his side, I've got to support him, I know him better than anyone else'. They're all things that you want someone else to feel for you." Yokozawa wants to be needed, wants to be supported, wants someone to know him better than anyone else. Yokozawa snaps at him that he doesn't know anything, but this is simply proof of the truth in Kirishima's words. "If you've never considered that before, then do it now. Why did you love him?"
Yokozawa refuses to put up with this any longer and barks at Kirishima to leave him alone, that it's annoying and Kirishima doesn't know him or his situation. Kirishima eventually relents, admitting that he indeed doesn't know all of Yokozawa, and gives a sad smile that makes Yokozawa's chest seize painfully--it's different from the pain of being rejected, because this comes from guilt.
He realizes that he's said something hurtful to someone who didn't deserve it and that he should apologize, but when he opens his mouth, what comes out instead is, "Just--get the hell away from me! Don't come around me any more! I don't want to see your face ever again!"
Kirishima stares for a moment, dumbfounded, and then just says, "...Fine then," and returns the cigarette and leaves. Yokozawa's chest hurts even more now, and he opens his mouth to stop him--but since he was the one to tell him to leave in the first place, he has no right to ask, and Kirishima probably wouldn't stop even if he did.
The sound of the door shutting behind him sounds, to Yokozawa, like Kirishima's rejection incarnate.
Chapter 7
After their fight, Yokozawa went to his own home and holed himself up away from the world, regretting what he'd said. Of course no calls came from Kirishima, but he'd still held out some hope. Now, he has an apple pie in hand and a bag of groceries...and is walking to their house. He knows that if he'd been in Kirishima's place, he would never have gotten involved in someone else's problems like that in the first place, definitely not a stranger's. But even though the lecture from Kirishima hurt, he understands that they were what he needed to hear and appreciates where they came from, what Kirishima's motivation had been in delivering them. Kirishima hadn't been thinking about anyone else but Yokozawa right then.
He still can't understand why Kirishima has been going out of his way like this for Yokozawa...but he's grateful for it all the same. He arrives at their house and takes a deep breath, steeling himself. He knows he has to do this--after all, he can't leave Sorata with them always, and has to thank Hiyo...but really, he's only here right now because he wants to see Kirishima. The entire day before, he'd only been able to think about Kirishima, and the horrible things Yokozawa had said to him, and how he wished he hadn't. Amazingly enough...he realizes he hadn't thought about Takano once the whole time--while his feelings of love haven't entirely vanished...he can safely classify them as part of his past.
He presses the buzzer, and the door immediately opens to reveal Hiyo, who excitedly greets him with "Oniichan!! Welcome home!!" Yokozawa feels guilty--he remembers when he too was so carefree as a child--and returns evenly, "I'm home." She asks if he had work today, as apparently Kirishima had told her he couldn't come over because of work (to explain why Yokozawa hadn't been staying with them). Yokozawa apologizes for worrying her and asks if she's going out somewhere--and she is, to play with a friend in the building. He gives her the apple pie to enjoy and tells her to go off and play with her friends (since she's had to stay with Sorata all the time), and he'll call her when dinner's ready.
Hiyo goes to leave, then asks for a favor. "Papa's not been feeling well since Friday...could you maybe try and talk to him? He won't tell me what happened..." At this, Yokozawa realizes she's talking about the night they fought. Yokozawa agrees to talk with him and sends her off.
He finds Kirishima out on the veranda drinking beer, and before Yokozawa even opens his mouth, he asks what he's come for, bitterly adding, "I thought you never wanted to see me again."
"I'm sorry...about the other day."
"What for?"
Yokozawa starts to get annoyed, but quickly calms himself down and apologizes properly. He got mad...because Kirishima had been right, and that fact had pissed him off. Kirishima brushes off his apology with a curt, "I see," and Yokozawa feels dejected, wondering aloud if that means he won't be forgiven.
"Forgive you? I'm not mad. You're the one who was mad--just like you said, I was being too nosy. I've always been like that, not knowing my boundaries." And indeed, in his words, Yokozawa doesn't feel any anger or irritation at all.
Yokozawa takes a breath. "...I'm grateful to you, you know."
"What, for the cat?"
"For Sorata--but, the reason I was able to face him then without running away...was all thanks to you." He purposefully avoids saying Takano's name, has avoided it from the beginning, but by this point they both well know who Yokozawa is talking about. "Before meeting you, if I'd run into him, I would never have been able to face him and probably would've turned tail and run." He knows that if he'd had to go through this all alone, it would have been horrible. The only reason he was able to get through it as well as he had was because Kirishima was by his side.
Kirishima returns that he surely would've been fine, even without Kirishima there. Yokozawa allows it, but goes on to say that if Kirishima hadn't been there for him, he probably would've been thinking about that person even now.
"...So what are you saying you're thinking of instead?" Yokozawa's throat goes dry--he hadn't expected that response, and he drops his gaze to the floor so that Kirishima doesn't see his blush rising. "...You don't have to say, if you don't want to." From this comment, it's apparent that he wasn't teasing Yokozawa then--he really did want to know.
"...out you..."
"What?"
"I was thinking about you dammit!" This seems to release the floodgates. "I've been doing nothing but thinking about you for the past two days! It's annoying as hell not being able to think about anything but YOU!" Kirishima is clearly shocked, and Yokozawa feels so embarrassed his face could light up in flames. "I kept...thinking how you had to be so pissed off at my saying those things to you. Th-that...you hated me now..." He trails off, embarrassed. When Kirishima doesn't say anything for a long while, Yokozawa turns on him, "Are you even listening to me?"
Kirishima quickly assuages his fears, assuring, "I am, I am! Just--you surprised me, and I thought maybe it was a dream..."
"Quit messing around!"
Kirishima is in slightly higher spirits now. "Yeah, I don't think I quite caught that--could you say it once more?"
Yokozawa gives up and goes to leave, his business being finished--but Kirishima stops him with a hand on the door. "You think I'm gonna let you leave, after you say something cute like that?" Yokozawa takes offense at being called cute all the time and says that Kirishima needs to get his eyes checked if he thinks someone like Yokozawa could ever be cute. "'First loves never last'...do you still feel like that?" Yokozawa stalls, recalling the words that he'd drunkenly blabbed to Kirishima when they first met. "...Just start over and fall in love again then! If you're in love properly from the very beginning, then isn't that in itself...your first true love?"
Yokozawa returns idly that maybe Kirishima's more fit for working in Emerald than Japun with lines like that. Kirishima tells him to say whatever he wants--it's obvious Yokozawa doesn't mind this sort of thing, and after all--he's already well in love with Kirishima, right? They may as well be in love with each other--they suit each other nicely. Kirishima then adds, "And I'll accept everything about you. You don't have to forget how you loved him before--I'll still take care of you." Yokozawa doesn't quite get the meaning... "I said I'd accept you unconditionally--you don't have to change at all."
And with those words, something wells up inside of Yokozawa and it feels like a weight's been lifted from his shoulders. He ducks his head in defeat. "...Just so you know, I come with a lot of baggage."
"I know."
"I'm moody, and it aggravates people."
"I said it's fine! And I kinda like that about you."
"I get jealous easily, and tend to feel unwanted."
"If you're confident that you're loved--then there's no reason for you to feel that way. And I'm perfectly fine with you being jealous. It's proof of how much you care."
All of his concerns are steadily being blown away by Kirishima. And he eventually summons up his strength. "...I won't forgive you if you toss me aside, you know." It's the best answer he can come up with right now.
They go back inside through Kirishima's room into the house, and Yokozawa goes to make dinner--but Kirishima shuts the door before he can leave and pushes Yokozawa onto the bed, sitting on top of him to keep him down. He confesses here, "...I lied to you." Eh? "...We didn't have sex that night. You puked on your suit and I sent it off to be dry cleaned, that's it. Though we did sleep in the same bed together. I just let you think how you would." Yokozawa is, suffice it to say, shocked, but Kirishima seems to think he deserves to be praised for his actions. "...Wasn't that nice of me? Not taking a meal set before me?"
Yokozawa is angry at being made fun of this way, but Kirishima just teases him--shouldn't he be relieved? Or would it have been better if they'd actually done it? He tells Yokozawa here that he wants to just start over: they have requited feelings now, obviously, so there's no reason to hold back anymore. Yokozawa flails and tells him to wait--and Kirishima is petulant, haven't they waited long enough? Yokozawa thought he'd been too dejected before--just moments ago he'd seemed really down, but Kirishima says he's feeling much better now that Yokozawa's here. Plus, he's pretty sure that if he lets Yokozawa off this time, he'll overthink things and run away.
"Who's running away?!" Yokozawa returns hotly, even though he knows it was a challenge, and even when Kirishima presses him about what he means when he says this, Yokozawa remains firm in his conviction not to walk away from this and eventually tells him to get on with it (since Kirishima had already started stripping him).
Kirishima first palms him through his pants before touching him--and his hand is wet when he grabs Yokozawa's cock, from some baby oil he had taken out from the night stand. He explains that he used to use it on Hiyo, who had dry skin as a baby, and Yokozawa groans and begs him not to bring up Hiyo at a time like this XD; Kirishima chuckles and apologizes: "Oh, well I'm so very sorry about that. I'll help you forget I even mentioned it..." Kirishima then proceeds to jerk him off, but after a moment, Yokozawa protests that he's the only one being touched, and Kirishima seems a bit surprised at the offer but gladly takes him up on it.
Lots of sexy bedroom banter follows, with Kirishima reminding Yokozawa that he's a really good person: "I don't think I could find anyone else as pure-hearted as you, seriously..." Yokozawa, however, is about tired of this mushy stuff, and returns in a challenging voice, "I'm gonna make it so you can't be this chatty..." He's blatantly intent on making Kirishima come first, one way or another. While they jerk each other off, each trying to one-up the other, Yokozawa can't stop focusing on Kirishima's lips--he really wants to kiss him, but can't bring himself to do it, and instead licks his lips unconsciously. Kirishima laughs at the action, "Is that an invitation?" Yokozawa hadn't realized what'd done, and tries to brush it off, but Kirishima kisses him first.
Kirishima's really good at kissing, as usual, and Yokozawa eventually breaks it off because it gets too intense. Kirishima is worried--is something wrong? Yokozawa assures him that no, nothing's wrong...though that in itself is kind of annoying. They go back to kissing, and Kirishima slowly moves his finger further down beneath Yokozawa and starts to finger him, surprising Yokozawa who protests at first but is quickly reminded by Kirishima not to stop jerking him off.
Kirishima keeps going, and Yokozawa eventually manages to tell him to stop more clearly. Kirishima is somewhat petulant: "What...you don't like it?" He admits that no, he doesn't really like people touching him there. Kirishima is genuinely shocked at this assertion and asks, "...Wait, don't tell me this is your...first time?" Yokozawa groans and flushes, "......................NO COMMENT."
He doesn't want Kirishima to know about his past, just as he also doesn't want to know about Kirishima's either, even though he does wonder. Kirishima lets it slide, saying that regardless of whether he's done it before or not, that doesn't change what's happening now--and he'll be gentle. Yokozawa snorts derisively, at the promise, putting little stock into it, and Kirishima warns, "Does that attitude mean you want me to tease you some more then?"
He continues his preparation--until Yokozawa tells him it's enough, to get on with it. He's pretty close already and if Kirishima keeps it up he's going to wind up climaxing before they've even done anything.
Kirishima's a bit put out, "I really wish you'd say that in a more sexy manner..." But Yokozawa reminds him, "Just hurry up and decide if you're gonna do it or not--though I wouldn't mind sticking it in you instead."
Kirishima has no problem with this idea either! "I definitely don't mind if you want to." He leans in close. "But for today, let me do you. I want to come inside you..." He apologizes, just as he's ready to start--as he doesn't have a condom. Yokozawa protests this at first, but they go through with it anyways. Kirishima eventually seats himself inside Yokozawa and asks if he feels okay. Yokozawa, through grit teeth, warns coldly, "If you....come inside me.....I swear I'll fucking kill you..."
Kirishima asks here, "I'll ask you something underhanded but....what was it like when you were with Takano?" The whole book Yokozawa refused to tell him who had dumped him (not wanting to get either of them in trouble at work), but Kirishima's a smart cookie and has slowly been putting the pieces together. At this, Yokozawa is again NO COMMENT, and Kirishima shrugs, "I guess it doesn't really matter then. You both look like bottoms to me..." (using the word 'neko'/cat for bottom XD) Yokozawa responds, "I'm pretty sure...everyone...looks like that to you." If he thinks YOKOZAWA looks cute, he must think everyone does and therefore think that everyone is a bottom.
Kirishima returns smoothly, "I'm talking about on the INSIDE. Or what--are you saying I'm such a hottie sex magnet you don't mind my fucking you even though I'm a guy?"
"THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT."
Sensing that Yokozawa's got plenty of fight left in him, Kirishima starts pounding into him in earnest, telling Yokozawa it's fine to cry out more since Hiyo isn't there, and when Yokozawa refuses, he adds, "Though the sight of you holding back really turns me on as well..."
Shortly, Yokozawa climaxes, and even though he told Kirishima not to come inside of him, the guy does of course. Yokozawa is not happy. Kirishima apologizes blithely, saying he couldn't hold back, and Yokozawa gripes at him that he'll have to take care of the cleanup. Kirishima agrees without protest, but not before adding, "But--can we go one more time first?" Yokozawa tells him to go die, and Kirishima laughs and kisses him to make him shut up.
Yokozawa takes a shower, then tells Kirishima to take one too and wonders how they'll explain to Hiyo why they took showers in the middle of the day when it's not summer or anything.
He remembers now and asks Kirishima again about the photos--since they hadn't done anything, what were they after all? Kirishima whips out his cell phone and shows the files without hesitation--all of them are just pictures of Yokozawa sleeping peacefully, a little red around the eyes from the booze.
Yokozawa threatens to sue the pants off of him for blackmail, and Kirishima just says, "Go ahead--I'll just say I couldn't help myself wanting to take pictures of my cute lover." Yokozawa protests, but his words are cut off by Kirishima. "...Blushing over something like this, you really are cute. I'll just have to keep saying them until you get used to it, I suppose." Yokozawa tells him to cut it out--but deep down, he really isn't that unhappy with it. "Don't be shy--my love is deep, you know. I'll definitely make you happy."
"Seriously?"
"Have I ever not been able to accomplish something once I've said I would?" After all, Kirishima is known to be a hit-maker in Marukawa, so what he says must be true.
Yokozawa still isn't sure how to face Hiyo--Kirishima says that it's fine if they just treat her the same as usual, but Yokozawa is unconvinced. He remains worried that she might be confused at her father taking a lover--especially a male one, and especially Yokozawa, who she knows. Kirishima is unruffled as always: "It's fine--she's my daughter after all! She doesn't have a bigoted bone in her body!" Yokozawa still warns him not to reveal anything to her, and he contends that it's up to Yokozawa whether that happens or not--then laughs that he's only playing with him when he reacts to it.
Yokozawa glares at Kirishima out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he's made the right decision, and then sighs and goes back to making dinner.
[THE END]
LONG LIVE TRIFECTA! You've officially outdone Nostalgia, Domestica, and Erotica for MOST AWESOME SH PAIRING!!