IC Apples to Apples: Murdoc sells 2D for $20 and some embalming fluid, Condiment King wins the game
Murdoc: I'll offer you 2D instead if you give me 50quid and a pint of something.
Condiment King: I have a tank of vinegar
Dr. Jackstraw: You can have twenty bucks and a pint of embalming fluid.
Murdoc: I'll take it.
Dr. Jackstraw: What the fuck are these choices.
Murdoc: 2D C'MERE. I NEED TO SEE IF YOU'LL FIT IN THIS BOX.
Dr. Jackstraw: Okay, 2D, now you have to vote for my cards.
2D: wat
(Crane accidentally chooses Murdoc's card.)
Dr. Jackstraw: Damnit!
2D: okay?
Murdoc: I'm shipping you off to Gotham City or whatever... SHIPPING'S ON ME.
Murdoc: HEH
Murdoc: LOOK AT YOU CRANE
Dr. Jackstraw: Hint: the answer is Cousteau.
Murdoc: 2D pick corn or we're not longer mates.
(2D picks Crane's card.)
Murdoc: DAMMIT
Murdoc: DAAAAMMMIT
Dr. Jackstraw: Thank you.
Murdoc: YOU IDIOT.
2D: i'm so confused
2D: what's going on
Dr. Jackstraw: You sold him, he belongs to me now.
2D: why am i in this box
Murdoc: NO.
Dr. Jackstraw: /lets 2D out, gives him a smoothie :V
Murdoc: You just gave me cash and booze--HEY
Murdoc: HEY STOP THAT.
2D: oh, thank you
2D: that's very nice of you
Murdoc: /FUMING
2D: /sips his smoothie obliviously
Dr. Jackstraw: Well it's what you deserve.
Murdoc: YOU'RE THE WORST BLOODY VILLAIN I'VE SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
Murdoc: FRAUD.
Dr. Jackstraw: :)
Murdoc: /fjsaiofhsfioahsf
2D: 8)
Condiment King: Some villains use honey rather than vinegar to catch minions!
Murdoc: ...........
Murdoc: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Murdoc: Hnngngg.
Murdoc: YOU'RE FIRED 2D. Condiment King is now my frontman.
Dr. Jackstraw: It means I'll never pee on 2D or treat him badly. Because he's a good man who will keep voting for my cards.
Dr. Jackstraw: Heh.
2D: that actually sounds like a decent living for once
Murdoc: Yeah yeah yeah.
Murdoc: I'll just gas you again.
Condiment King: I'm more of a solo act, the one time I teamed up it all turned sour.
Murdoc: NO SWEAT OFF MY BROW.
2D: much nicer than being kidnapped and forced to record music
Dr. Jackstraw: It's okay, 2D, I'll inoculate you.
Murdoc: I'll do it again 2D. And I'll find an even bigger whale this time.
Dr. Jackstraw: /by which we mean also gas him, but say it's inoculation
2D: uh
2D: there are no whales in gotham, right?
Murdoc: And when it comes to eat you.
Murdoc: AND IT WILL.
Dr. Jackstraw: None.
Murdoc: I won't be around to save you...
Dr. Jackstraw: And if it does come, Batman will stop it.
2D: 8O
Murdoc: Pfft.
2D: did you hear that, muds?
2D: i'll be rescued by batman
Murdoc: I'll stuff my foot up Batman's asshole.
Condiment King: That cake fucker GODDAMN BATMAN
Dr. Jackstraw: Please, you'd lift your leg and Batman would wrench it off with his pinky -- ... /stares at Condiment King
Dr. Jackstraw: What on earth on these choices.
Condiment King: ... What/
Murdoc: I'll summon a horde of demons.
Murdoc: In exchange for an extra 30 years of my soul.
Murdoc: Or whatever it is this time round.
2D: sorry, all my other ones sort of sucked.
Condiment King: He's foiled all my very best flans!
Dr. Jackstraw: That's cute. Batman IS a demon, he'll just eat you.
2D: so george washington it was
Dr. Jackstraw: That doesn't mean he FUCKS CAKES.
Murdoc: 2D
Murdoc: IF YOU LEAVE ME.
Murdoc: Your eyes will go back to normal.
Dr. Jackstraw: HE'S ALREADY GONE~
Murdoc: And you'll never get laid again.
Murdoc: Ever.
2D: ......
2D: well, that would be less child support i have to pay
Dr. Jackstraw: That's not true. Gotham loves rock stars.
Condiment King: IT'S AN INSULT, DOCTOR, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!
Murdoc: You'll live in a dark scary place, with no friends. RUSSEL WON'T BE THERE TO PROTECT YOU Noodle will be gone forever...
Murdoc: And you'll never be able to beat anyone at video games ever again.
Murdoc: Because I won't be there...
Dr. Jackstraw: Russel and Noodle are welcome to join us. P.S. Pick bubblegum.
2D: ............
Murdoc: Your life will be full of humiliation and everyone will hate you.
2D: but you won't be there, right?
Dr. Jackstraw: You mean different humiliation from when you're with him, Murdoc?
Murdoc: Oh
Murdoc: I'll always be there.
Murdoc: :)
Murdoc: I stapled a tracking device in your asshole a ways back.
Murdoc: So.
2D: what
Murdoc: UNLESS SOMEBODY MANAGES TO DIG IT OUT.
Murdoc: I've got you on record.
Dr. Jackstraw: 2D, you're doing so well. You can have your own mask if you want.
2D: D8>
2D: why would you do that, murdoc?
Dr. Jackstraw: That's okay, I know the World's Best Plastic/Heart/Brain Surgeon.
Murdoc: Because I like to keep in touch.
Murdoc: Because you're my mate and... and the only mate I'll ever have... :(
Dr. Jackstraw: I actually mentored him when he was a kid and he still writes me really fruity letters.
Murdoc: And it's so... honorable to be able to perform with you.
2D: /awwww, now he feels so of bad
Murdoc: And without you the band... oh I don't know what we'll do.
Murdoc: /STIFLING HIS SNORTS AS HE WRITES THIS
2D: /kicked puppy look
Dr. Jackstraw: He's lying, 2D, it's a trick and when you go back he's going to kick you in the head.
Condiment King: Ohhh, that guy.
Murdoc: And here I thought... we were a team.
Murdoc: The two of us. Outrunning that bounty hunter... escaping to Plastic Beach. Together....
Murdoc: I'm sorry if you didn't want to go.
2D: i never agreed to any of that
Dr. Jackstraw: We can do things together, 2D.
Murdoc: I just thought... it would be fun...
Murdoc: FINE... YOU CAN GO TO GOTHAM AND LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND. See what I care.
2D: i don't
2D: i'm sorry, murdoc
Murdoc: /HEH
Dr. Jackstraw: >:|
(Murdoc picks Crane's card.)
Murdoc: hfjiahfiasf
Dr. Jackstraw: Heh.
Murdoc: /meanwhile, mailordering some extra whales
Condiment King: I have a tank of vinegar
Dr. Jackstraw: You can have twenty bucks and a pint of embalming fluid.
Murdoc: I'll take it.
Dr. Jackstraw: What the fuck are these choices.
Murdoc: 2D C'MERE. I NEED TO SEE IF YOU'LL FIT IN THIS BOX.
Dr. Jackstraw: Okay, 2D, now you have to vote for my cards.
2D: wat
(Crane accidentally chooses Murdoc's card.)
Dr. Jackstraw: Damnit!
2D: okay?
Murdoc: I'm shipping you off to Gotham City or whatever... SHIPPING'S ON ME.
Murdoc: HEH
Murdoc: LOOK AT YOU CRANE
Dr. Jackstraw: Hint: the answer is Cousteau.
Murdoc: 2D pick corn or we're not longer mates.
(2D picks Crane's card.)
Murdoc: DAMMIT
Murdoc: DAAAAMMMIT
Dr. Jackstraw: Thank you.
Murdoc: YOU IDIOT.
2D: i'm so confused
2D: what's going on
Dr. Jackstraw: You sold him, he belongs to me now.
2D: why am i in this box
Murdoc: NO.
Dr. Jackstraw: /lets 2D out, gives him a smoothie :V
Murdoc: You just gave me cash and booze--HEY
Murdoc: HEY STOP THAT.
2D: oh, thank you
2D: that's very nice of you
Murdoc: /FUMING
2D: /sips his smoothie obliviously
Dr. Jackstraw: Well it's what you deserve.
Murdoc: YOU'RE THE WORST BLOODY VILLAIN I'VE SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
Murdoc: FRAUD.
Dr. Jackstraw: :)
Murdoc: /fjsaiofhsfioahsf
2D: 8)
Condiment King: Some villains use honey rather than vinegar to catch minions!
Murdoc: ...........
Murdoc: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Murdoc: Hnngngg.
Murdoc: YOU'RE FIRED 2D. Condiment King is now my frontman.
Dr. Jackstraw: It means I'll never pee on 2D or treat him badly. Because he's a good man who will keep voting for my cards.
Dr. Jackstraw: Heh.
2D: that actually sounds like a decent living for once
Murdoc: Yeah yeah yeah.
Murdoc: I'll just gas you again.
Condiment King: I'm more of a solo act, the one time I teamed up it all turned sour.
Murdoc: NO SWEAT OFF MY BROW.
2D: much nicer than being kidnapped and forced to record music
Dr. Jackstraw: It's okay, 2D, I'll inoculate you.
Murdoc: I'll do it again 2D. And I'll find an even bigger whale this time.
Dr. Jackstraw: /by which we mean also gas him, but say it's inoculation
2D: uh
2D: there are no whales in gotham, right?
Murdoc: And when it comes to eat you.
Murdoc: AND IT WILL.
Dr. Jackstraw: None.
Murdoc: I won't be around to save you...
Dr. Jackstraw: And if it does come, Batman will stop it.
2D: 8O
Murdoc: Pfft.
2D: did you hear that, muds?
2D: i'll be rescued by batman
Murdoc: I'll stuff my foot up Batman's asshole.
Condiment King: That cake fucker GODDAMN BATMAN
Dr. Jackstraw: Please, you'd lift your leg and Batman would wrench it off with his pinky -- ... /stares at Condiment King
Dr. Jackstraw: What on earth on these choices.
Condiment King: ... What/
Murdoc: I'll summon a horde of demons.
Murdoc: In exchange for an extra 30 years of my soul.
Murdoc: Or whatever it is this time round.
2D: sorry, all my other ones sort of sucked.
Condiment King: He's foiled all my very best flans!
Dr. Jackstraw: That's cute. Batman IS a demon, he'll just eat you.
2D: so george washington it was
Dr. Jackstraw: That doesn't mean he FUCKS CAKES.
Murdoc: 2D
Murdoc: IF YOU LEAVE ME.
Murdoc: Your eyes will go back to normal.
Dr. Jackstraw: HE'S ALREADY GONE~
Murdoc: And you'll never get laid again.
Murdoc: Ever.
2D: ......
2D: well, that would be less child support i have to pay
Dr. Jackstraw: That's not true. Gotham loves rock stars.
Condiment King: IT'S AN INSULT, DOCTOR, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!
Murdoc: You'll live in a dark scary place, with no friends. RUSSEL WON'T BE THERE TO PROTECT YOU Noodle will be gone forever...
Murdoc: And you'll never be able to beat anyone at video games ever again.
Murdoc: Because I won't be there...
Dr. Jackstraw: Russel and Noodle are welcome to join us. P.S. Pick bubblegum.
2D: ............
Murdoc: Your life will be full of humiliation and everyone will hate you.
2D: but you won't be there, right?
Dr. Jackstraw: You mean different humiliation from when you're with him, Murdoc?
Murdoc: Oh
Murdoc: I'll always be there.
Murdoc: :)
Murdoc: I stapled a tracking device in your asshole a ways back.
Murdoc: So.
2D: what
Murdoc: UNLESS SOMEBODY MANAGES TO DIG IT OUT.
Murdoc: I've got you on record.
Dr. Jackstraw: 2D, you're doing so well. You can have your own mask if you want.
2D: D8>
2D: why would you do that, murdoc?
Dr. Jackstraw: That's okay, I know the World's Best Plastic/Heart/Brain Surgeon.
Murdoc: Because I like to keep in touch.
Murdoc: Because you're my mate and... and the only mate I'll ever have... :(
Dr. Jackstraw: I actually mentored him when he was a kid and he still writes me really fruity letters.
Murdoc: And it's so... honorable to be able to perform with you.
2D: /awwww, now he feels so of bad
Murdoc: And without you the band... oh I don't know what we'll do.
Murdoc: /STIFLING HIS SNORTS AS HE WRITES THIS
2D: /kicked puppy look
Dr. Jackstraw: He's lying, 2D, it's a trick and when you go back he's going to kick you in the head.
Condiment King: Ohhh, that guy.
Murdoc: And here I thought... we were a team.
Murdoc: The two of us. Outrunning that bounty hunter... escaping to Plastic Beach. Together....
Murdoc: I'm sorry if you didn't want to go.
2D: i never agreed to any of that
Dr. Jackstraw: We can do things together, 2D.
Murdoc: I just thought... it would be fun...
Murdoc: FINE... YOU CAN GO TO GOTHAM AND LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND. See what I care.
2D: i don't
2D: i'm sorry, murdoc
Murdoc: /HEH
Dr. Jackstraw: >:|
(Murdoc picks Crane's card.)
Murdoc: hfjiahfiasf
Dr. Jackstraw: Heh.
Murdoc: /meanwhile, mailordering some extra whales