(no subject)
so this morning the physical exhaustion of spreading myself caught up with me and kicked my ass. i woke up at 450 and i'm supposed to be at work by 500. needless to say i called in thinking "showing up late jeapordizes my job just as bad as not going. sure, that would've been true if i was an idiot. so my mom yelled at me for a while, we talked..i hate my job. no news to anyone really. i'm not sure if i'll still have the job monday. right now i'm actually looking for another job. please pray that the search turns up something perfect. or at least something better. i need to sleep more though, this coming home at 1000 in the evening must stop. 915 every night is my new curfew.
i thought about quitting 16beat pop this morning too. and i was deadset on it. but alas i've weighed my options and decided that i'd only regret it in the end. i love the kids in the band, i love the band, i just hate myself for not being able to be more commited. i've prayed about it though, and i'm only beating myself up. things will work out if they're supposed to. i hope it gets fun again though. because the last few practices have been too dead serious. i understand a serious band, and i understand what they want it to be, but it just won't last if it keeps going in the direction it's going in. i'm sure things will be fine..we just all need to get together and talk about what we're doing, and why we're doing it.
i love jamie lynn ramirez more than anything in the entire world. sometimes i don't feel like i do enough, but i'm doing the best i can, i really am. i hate the fact that i need to start going to bed earlier because that means less time with her. it really kills me that i can't spend the time i want. all i do is think about her. it figures that i've found the love of my life at the busiest time of my life. things will get better eventually i'm sure, i just wish i could fast forward to that time, because this time is wearing me down.
i thought about quitting 16beat pop this morning too. and i was deadset on it. but alas i've weighed my options and decided that i'd only regret it in the end. i love the kids in the band, i love the band, i just hate myself for not being able to be more commited. i've prayed about it though, and i'm only beating myself up. things will work out if they're supposed to. i hope it gets fun again though. because the last few practices have been too dead serious. i understand a serious band, and i understand what they want it to be, but it just won't last if it keeps going in the direction it's going in. i'm sure things will be fine..we just all need to get together and talk about what we're doing, and why we're doing it.
i love jamie lynn ramirez more than anything in the entire world. sometimes i don't feel like i do enough, but i'm doing the best i can, i really am. i hate the fact that i need to start going to bed earlier because that means less time with her. it really kills me that i can't spend the time i want. all i do is think about her. it figures that i've found the love of my life at the busiest time of my life. things will get better eventually i'm sure, i just wish i could fast forward to that time, because this time is wearing me down.