Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
This is to a boy who I used to love...
One day it's I love you Katelyn and two or three days from that its Rachel is the greatest and its coming from Rachel, its almost as if he is embarassed to let anybody know that he "loves" her. I think he's even more embarrassed to tell me that he has like chosen her over me. Everybody knows that what he is doing is wrong, but I guess that he doesnt care about what we think, so he'll just do whatever the fuck he wants.
I honestly don't even know why I care anymore, or even let it bother me. I guess its just insticnt. And Rachel is just being really stupid, does she really think that he loves her? Gah! He is using her just as she explained how he is using me! Atleast I admit to the fact that I know he is using me... is she just blind or in denial to the truth which is pretty much laid out right in front of her. I think the deal with RAchel is that, she needs someone to make her feel special and loved and Josh is perfect for that, and since he's really never seen her before and shit like that then he can tell her that she is beautiful and that he loves her and make her feel happy with herself instead of feeling insecure like she does already. whatever, I'm not going to talk about Rachel anymore. Josh just screws me over as he did with Alex, and Liz and all his friends, soo much, one day I'll get the " you don't care about me, your a liar and Rachal (yeah he can't even spellher name right...okay thats all!!!) and I are in love and shit like that speech" and then the next day i'll get the "I love you and I always will and everything I said I meant and bla bl abla speech..which I will fall for" But he goes over the top sometimes...and crosses over the line of my forgiviness...WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THREATEN MY BOYFRIEND? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO YOU? YOU KNOW...EVEN IF I DIDN'T HAVE BRIAN I STILL WOULDN'T BE WITH YOU, SO SUCK ON THAT BITCH! Seriously if you really wanna prove that your better than you used to be, than leave your old life behind...ALL OF IT! Don't keep bits and peices, just put it in your past..I thought you wanted to make ammendments and apologize to everybody that you've hurt and make things better and stay better? Well evidently you don't because your stuck to all these people, like a leach...just sucking the life out of all of us, and we're stuck with you becuase we were once involved with you and now we're stuck in your trap and feel sorry for you when we really shouldn't. let us live our lives without having to worry about if your okay or not, becasue you will be okay without us! Seriously stop playing stupid and grow the fuck up Josh, and I hope that you understand this now but I won't always be here for you, I quit, today I quit, find a new Crutch!!!
"you fail me with every fatal crush
you fail me with every abandoned love
you fail me with your inferno fuck me eyes
that burn as fuel for my city and its neon lights
burn bright white line fever take them all
you fail me with your new dead end dream
you fail me with your pill box fantasy
you fail me as love's greatest war
that was never worth
you were never worth fighting for
you think you are a poet
in your eyes you are a star
who lives through a fantasy of rising above
you think you're a victim
but you live as a drunk
that has never sacrificed that has never loved
you think you are tragic but i know you are lost
you have walked the fault lines
and you have crossed them all
this world doesn't fight you, you fight yourself
thinking we fail you you fail yourself"
One day it's I love you Katelyn and two or three days from that its Rachel is the greatest and its coming from Rachel, its almost as if he is embarassed to let anybody know that he "loves" her. I think he's even more embarrassed to tell me that he has like chosen her over me. Everybody knows that what he is doing is wrong, but I guess that he doesnt care about what we think, so he'll just do whatever the fuck he wants.
I honestly don't even know why I care anymore, or even let it bother me. I guess its just insticnt. And Rachel is just being really stupid, does she really think that he loves her? Gah! He is using her just as she explained how he is using me! Atleast I admit to the fact that I know he is using me... is she just blind or in denial to the truth which is pretty much laid out right in front of her. I think the deal with RAchel is that, she needs someone to make her feel special and loved and Josh is perfect for that, and since he's really never seen her before and shit like that then he can tell her that she is beautiful and that he loves her and make her feel happy with herself instead of feeling insecure like she does already. whatever, I'm not going to talk about Rachel anymore. Josh just screws me over as he did with Alex, and Liz and all his friends, soo much, one day I'll get the " you don't care about me, your a liar and Rachal (yeah he can't even spellher name right...okay thats all!!!) and I are in love and shit like that speech" and then the next day i'll get the "I love you and I always will and everything I said I meant and bla bl abla speech..which I will fall for" But he goes over the top sometimes...and crosses over the line of my forgiviness...WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THREATEN MY BOYFRIEND? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO YOU? YOU KNOW...EVEN IF I DIDN'T HAVE BRIAN I STILL WOULDN'T BE WITH YOU, SO SUCK ON THAT BITCH! Seriously if you really wanna prove that your better than you used to be, than leave your old life behind...ALL OF IT! Don't keep bits and peices, just put it in your past..I thought you wanted to make ammendments and apologize to everybody that you've hurt and make things better and stay better? Well evidently you don't because your stuck to all these people, like a leach...just sucking the life out of all of us, and we're stuck with you becuase we were once involved with you and now we're stuck in your trap and feel sorry for you when we really shouldn't. let us live our lives without having to worry about if your okay or not, becasue you will be okay without us! Seriously stop playing stupid and grow the fuck up Josh, and I hope that you understand this now but I won't always be here for you, I quit, today I quit, find a new Crutch!!!
"you fail me with every fatal crush
you fail me with every abandoned love
you fail me with your inferno fuck me eyes
that burn as fuel for my city and its neon lights
burn bright white line fever take them all
you fail me with your new dead end dream
you fail me with your pill box fantasy
you fail me as love's greatest war
that was never worth
you were never worth fighting for
you think you are a poet
in your eyes you are a star
who lives through a fantasy of rising above
you think you're a victim
but you live as a drunk
that has never sacrificed that has never loved
you think you are tragic but i know you are lost
you have walked the fault lines
and you have crossed them all
this world doesn't fight you, you fight yourself
thinking we fail you you fail yourself"