I don't like me.
I'm inconsistent, and it annoys me. Sometimes I'm shy/awkward and sometimes I never shut up and nothing scares me. I'm constantly changing my mind and my mood shifts throughout the day like crazy. I can't decided what I want to do or who I want to be or what I think...I don't have opinions anymore, except negative, and I can't back them up/explain myself. I feel stupid, uneducated and shallow. I hate my body right now. I mostly just hate my skin; that's where it all starts. I'm mean. I'm not trying to be mean, I just don't think about what I say. A few times, latley, Jen has pointed out I was out of line when I tell her stories I think were somewhat humorous and it made me realize I kind of have a problem. I procrastinate way too much. I'm messy. I think about things I really need to do, really simple tasks, while I'm lying around doing nothing, yet I don't do them, and I do nothing to change them. I over eat, I eat terrible food, I hate myself after I do it, yet I do nothing to change it. I spend too much money, I know I have to start saving, that I don't have money to spend but I spend and spend and spend and I keep saying I'm going to stop, but I do nothing to change that. I don't care about anything, and I don't care to try to.
ugh.
ugh.