old jobs, new job, old man
hehe. i like that subject line. he'd probably laugh.
Ok tons to update so it's going behind a cut!
Friday was my last day at both of my jobs. I was getting more and more depressed about leaving Mark's all week but I hadn't worried too much about leaving my internship. Everyone was sweet and said nice goodbyes... I didn't realize until a little later how much I'd miss that place. Even though I was just updating royalty statements (boring!), I had no idea how important it was to me that I was working with books. Furthermore, I'm really going to miss hearing all the little things about the publishing industry that I'd never pick up on my own. I never thought about just how lucky I was to get that opportunity. I'll definitely be using them if I can to get me back into publishing in the future.
Leaving Mark's was tough. Thinking about it all week made me want to start crying (which is weird, because I very rarely cry at all). So I figured I'd have a really tough time. I had some teary-eyed moments but I never broke down... I was just too busy. The thing is, everyone there is like me--they're not sentimental and they'd rather say "see ya later" than hug you and wish you luck and act like it was over. Maybe they know me better than I know myself... they keep alluding to the fact that I'd be back sooner or later to work again, and if I have the time to (especially around holidays), I will because I really loved that job, especially this year. Quite a bit of that had to do with Scott, regardless of what our status was/is. It was really difficult saying goodbye to him. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that I was tied up with a customer when he had to leave for the day. All I could muster was a sad face... I just didn't know what to do. I so rarely have this sort of reaction, but what I wanted most was to just have him hug me for about 10 minutes straight. Weird? I really thought I was over him and I knew it was for the best. But the past 2 weeks, when we've actually seen each other for more than 5 minutes (unlike past weeks), we've gone back to flirting like we did before. He was so sweet... he even noticed and complimented my new shoes! I think that's what got me thinking about him again, lol. But since I haven't seen him much lately, I've really missed him a lot... more than I ever expected to. A lot of it is simply missing his company: joking around with him or just talking about what's been going on in my life. He really is a great listener and I could really use someone to just listen to me talk (other than you fantastic LJers of course). Mike & Feex are always here for me, which is great, but they also have a lot of their own crap to deal with (especially Mike, regarding his mom's situation which has got completely out of hand lately -- a whole different story that I don't have time to explain right now). Becca has been amazing, which is why we talk to each other nearly every day. But I can't deny that I liked having Scott around as potential boyfriend material. I still know he isn't right for me. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to ignore what we have--even if it's not going to last forever. Then again, maybe I'm just concluding too much. When we did say goodbye, it was awkward with Marcia right there and the customer hanging around waiting for me to finish wrapping her gifts up. So basically I just gave Scott my best forlorn face in a "I'm actually going to miss you" way. His response: "Well, you have my number so give me a call and let me know how things are going." I said that I would and said goodbye. Now... we've talked on the phone only once since around the time we went on the date and that was at work and regarding work. So, this is definitely harking back to that time. He clearly doesn't want to cut things off. And he's put the ball in my court, which I think he much prefers. But does this/could this mean that he wants to go out again? I'm not sure. Do I want to go out again? Yes... Should I? I dunno. But I figure that if it doesn't turn out the way I/we want, we can still be friends. I don't foresee that being a problem. In any case, I'll most likely see him on Saturday because I have to pick up my pay. If I can, I'll try to see then how he feels about going out sometime. If I don't see him, I'll call him this weekend and imply that I'd like to see him... I hope this isn't a bad idea.
And in other news, I started my new job today. So far so good. I'm still having a hard time judging how much I'm going to like this job. Everyone I work with is really nice and welcoming and understanding. The commute is a pain and will take time to work out, but should be manageable until I get too sick of it (i.e. in the wintertime... yikes). The work seems very easy and I wonder how well it'll keep my interest. It should, I hope, make the day go by quickly. But the hardest part is dealing with the fact that I don't really care about my work. I mean, I care that it gets done and is done well, but I have no passion for it at all (like I do books/publishing). Even the attempts Pete has made to integrate my writing/editing skills (which is sweet of him) are pretty small because there isn't much need for them. It's frustrating, but I knew this going in. It's just something I have to deal with. In the meantime, I'm definitely keeping my eyes open for publishing opportunities. I want to see how this job goes for a few weeks. Then I'll probably get in touch with the peeps at Benay to just alert them that I'm still looking for something in publishing and to keep an eye out for me; then I can let them know how my current job is going. Even though that much is disappointing, I don't dislike it. And I should probably be more appreciative of the opportunity. There are lots of people who would love this type of job, and it's not a bad starting job at all. I know plenty of people would be very happy with the salary, especially considering how low my other bills are. I need to think positively. I know a lot of it is my general nervousnes about starting a new job (it's one of the only things I get nervous about). It's just tough to be ecstatic about it when I think about how much I miss my other jobs... especially Mark's. To think that on Thursday, I was weighing pumpkins.
In any case, I do have some good news: I got my Amazon order today! I got House Season 2 (finally), A Bit of Fry and Laurie Season 1 (with MYSTERY!!! hence, icon), and Gordon Dahlquist's book: The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which, consequently, is HUGE. Becca and I plan to read it together. First I have to finish Wicked and then I'll eventually find time for everything else, lol. Anyway, I'm off to call Becca and watch some ABOFAL! :)
Ok tons to update so it's going behind a cut!
Friday was my last day at both of my jobs. I was getting more and more depressed about leaving Mark's all week but I hadn't worried too much about leaving my internship. Everyone was sweet and said nice goodbyes... I didn't realize until a little later how much I'd miss that place. Even though I was just updating royalty statements (boring!), I had no idea how important it was to me that I was working with books. Furthermore, I'm really going to miss hearing all the little things about the publishing industry that I'd never pick up on my own. I never thought about just how lucky I was to get that opportunity. I'll definitely be using them if I can to get me back into publishing in the future.
Leaving Mark's was tough. Thinking about it all week made me want to start crying (which is weird, because I very rarely cry at all). So I figured I'd have a really tough time. I had some teary-eyed moments but I never broke down... I was just too busy. The thing is, everyone there is like me--they're not sentimental and they'd rather say "see ya later" than hug you and wish you luck and act like it was over. Maybe they know me better than I know myself... they keep alluding to the fact that I'd be back sooner or later to work again, and if I have the time to (especially around holidays), I will because I really loved that job, especially this year. Quite a bit of that had to do with Scott, regardless of what our status was/is. It was really difficult saying goodbye to him. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that I was tied up with a customer when he had to leave for the day. All I could muster was a sad face... I just didn't know what to do. I so rarely have this sort of reaction, but what I wanted most was to just have him hug me for about 10 minutes straight. Weird? I really thought I was over him and I knew it was for the best. But the past 2 weeks, when we've actually seen each other for more than 5 minutes (unlike past weeks), we've gone back to flirting like we did before. He was so sweet... he even noticed and complimented my new shoes! I think that's what got me thinking about him again, lol. But since I haven't seen him much lately, I've really missed him a lot... more than I ever expected to. A lot of it is simply missing his company: joking around with him or just talking about what's been going on in my life. He really is a great listener and I could really use someone to just listen to me talk (other than you fantastic LJers of course). Mike & Feex are always here for me, which is great, but they also have a lot of their own crap to deal with (especially Mike, regarding his mom's situation which has got completely out of hand lately -- a whole different story that I don't have time to explain right now). Becca has been amazing, which is why we talk to each other nearly every day. But I can't deny that I liked having Scott around as potential boyfriend material. I still know he isn't right for me. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to ignore what we have--even if it's not going to last forever. Then again, maybe I'm just concluding too much. When we did say goodbye, it was awkward with Marcia right there and the customer hanging around waiting for me to finish wrapping her gifts up. So basically I just gave Scott my best forlorn face in a "I'm actually going to miss you" way. His response: "Well, you have my number so give me a call and let me know how things are going." I said that I would and said goodbye. Now... we've talked on the phone only once since around the time we went on the date and that was at work and regarding work. So, this is definitely harking back to that time. He clearly doesn't want to cut things off. And he's put the ball in my court, which I think he much prefers. But does this/could this mean that he wants to go out again? I'm not sure. Do I want to go out again? Yes... Should I? I dunno. But I figure that if it doesn't turn out the way I/we want, we can still be friends. I don't foresee that being a problem. In any case, I'll most likely see him on Saturday because I have to pick up my pay. If I can, I'll try to see then how he feels about going out sometime. If I don't see him, I'll call him this weekend and imply that I'd like to see him... I hope this isn't a bad idea.
And in other news, I started my new job today. So far so good. I'm still having a hard time judging how much I'm going to like this job. Everyone I work with is really nice and welcoming and understanding. The commute is a pain and will take time to work out, but should be manageable until I get too sick of it (i.e. in the wintertime... yikes). The work seems very easy and I wonder how well it'll keep my interest. It should, I hope, make the day go by quickly. But the hardest part is dealing with the fact that I don't really care about my work. I mean, I care that it gets done and is done well, but I have no passion for it at all (like I do books/publishing). Even the attempts Pete has made to integrate my writing/editing skills (which is sweet of him) are pretty small because there isn't much need for them. It's frustrating, but I knew this going in. It's just something I have to deal with. In the meantime, I'm definitely keeping my eyes open for publishing opportunities. I want to see how this job goes for a few weeks. Then I'll probably get in touch with the peeps at Benay to just alert them that I'm still looking for something in publishing and to keep an eye out for me; then I can let them know how my current job is going. Even though that much is disappointing, I don't dislike it. And I should probably be more appreciative of the opportunity. There are lots of people who would love this type of job, and it's not a bad starting job at all. I know plenty of people would be very happy with the salary, especially considering how low my other bills are. I need to think positively. I know a lot of it is my general nervousnes about starting a new job (it's one of the only things I get nervous about). It's just tough to be ecstatic about it when I think about how much I miss my other jobs... especially Mark's. To think that on Thursday, I was weighing pumpkins.
In any case, I do have some good news: I got my Amazon order today! I got House Season 2 (finally), A Bit of Fry and Laurie Season 1 (with MYSTERY!!! hence, icon), and Gordon Dahlquist's book: The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, which, consequently, is HUGE. Becca and I plan to read it together. First I have to finish Wicked and then I'll eventually find time for everything else, lol. Anyway, I'm off to call Becca and watch some ABOFAL! :)