Snow is delicious
It just snowed the other night and now campus is covered in snow and I think it's awesome. I don't really know why but snow just puts me in a good mood.
Things have been going a little differently I guess you might say. With the end of the semester in sight, I guess I feel a little differently about my classes and my friends up here at school. I actually have less than 2 weeks of classes left but have a final on the very last day we can be here at unh, which is december 21st. I guess you might say I'm trying to get a grip so that I don't fail any classes and just so that I can pull through this crazy semester that I've experienced. I set up a new schedule for next semester and I know for a fact that if I behave the same way I did this semester, I will fail and/or have a nervous breakdown. I'm actually feeling pretty good, this is the only semi-negative thing I have to say.
I don't remember what I said the last time I told you what was going on, but I met this girl who plays guitar and likes really good music. I actually met her at this meeting that I go to in order to straighten myself out and all that stuff. We both said we played the guitar and I went and found her after and we basically set up a time to jam and hang out. I found out she's actually a grad student and she's 22 years old, which was kinda intimidating, but I realized that I think we're just going to be friends, which is cool. I mean if anything happens, whatever, but the same goes if nothing does. Anyway, we hung out at her place a couple miles off campus a few weeks ago, you know, talked about music and smoked a little bit and made an interesting pizza. Her roomates had some friends over and they were fuckin awesome, so it was basically a good time. The only weird part was that my roomate's ex-girlfriend showed up at her house during the night and asked me for a ride back to campus. I honestly think she's very nice and pretty cute, but anything to do with her would just spark up hatred from my roomate. Plus, I have a temporary philosophy of not wanting anybody to need me around because I drive even myself crazy. Everything turned out fine though, oh yeah and my new friend's name is kelly.
On that new idea that I've come up with, it's not as negative as it sounds. It basically just follows the principle that I really really don't want to get all fucked up in the head again when another girl tells me they're through with me. And I really just don't want to hurt anybody else. I guess I figure that until I know exactly who I am, exactly what I'm doing with my life, and exactly what I want would be the right time. And don't get what I'm about to say wrong, but I definitely need to love myself to do anything at all with anybody.
With that being said, I do feel okay and feel good about life I guess. It's funny, I talked to kurt the other day about how I've been reading into nihilism and absurdism and have been relating to a lot of the material. It's kinda hard to explain it or even read a lot of it, but it's making some sense to me. Don't worry, I still care very much about the people around me, and almost care about myself.
I'm heading over the mall in a little bit to buy superbad with some friends (hilarious movie) and we might smoke and watch it. I also have a band concert tonight which should be awesome, I'm trying to get my friends here to go because I love the music that we're playing. Alright, take it easy.
p.s. I'm not actually drunk, I just like the green face that it puts there haha
Things have been going a little differently I guess you might say. With the end of the semester in sight, I guess I feel a little differently about my classes and my friends up here at school. I actually have less than 2 weeks of classes left but have a final on the very last day we can be here at unh, which is december 21st. I guess you might say I'm trying to get a grip so that I don't fail any classes and just so that I can pull through this crazy semester that I've experienced. I set up a new schedule for next semester and I know for a fact that if I behave the same way I did this semester, I will fail and/or have a nervous breakdown. I'm actually feeling pretty good, this is the only semi-negative thing I have to say.
I don't remember what I said the last time I told you what was going on, but I met this girl who plays guitar and likes really good music. I actually met her at this meeting that I go to in order to straighten myself out and all that stuff. We both said we played the guitar and I went and found her after and we basically set up a time to jam and hang out. I found out she's actually a grad student and she's 22 years old, which was kinda intimidating, but I realized that I think we're just going to be friends, which is cool. I mean if anything happens, whatever, but the same goes if nothing does. Anyway, we hung out at her place a couple miles off campus a few weeks ago, you know, talked about music and smoked a little bit and made an interesting pizza. Her roomates had some friends over and they were fuckin awesome, so it was basically a good time. The only weird part was that my roomate's ex-girlfriend showed up at her house during the night and asked me for a ride back to campus. I honestly think she's very nice and pretty cute, but anything to do with her would just spark up hatred from my roomate. Plus, I have a temporary philosophy of not wanting anybody to need me around because I drive even myself crazy. Everything turned out fine though, oh yeah and my new friend's name is kelly.
On that new idea that I've come up with, it's not as negative as it sounds. It basically just follows the principle that I really really don't want to get all fucked up in the head again when another girl tells me they're through with me. And I really just don't want to hurt anybody else. I guess I figure that until I know exactly who I am, exactly what I'm doing with my life, and exactly what I want would be the right time. And don't get what I'm about to say wrong, but I definitely need to love myself to do anything at all with anybody.
With that being said, I do feel okay and feel good about life I guess. It's funny, I talked to kurt the other day about how I've been reading into nihilism and absurdism and have been relating to a lot of the material. It's kinda hard to explain it or even read a lot of it, but it's making some sense to me. Don't worry, I still care very much about the people around me, and almost care about myself.
I'm heading over the mall in a little bit to buy superbad with some friends (hilarious movie) and we might smoke and watch it. I also have a band concert tonight which should be awesome, I'm trying to get my friends here to go because I love the music that we're playing. Alright, take it easy.
p.s. I'm not actually drunk, I just like the green face that it puts there haha