You're never asleep, but you're never really awake either....
So, im an insomniac now, i guess.
It has it's ups and downs I guess.
The crappy part is I know why I can't sleep. And it's because of her. Or us rather. Maybe it's just me.
I guess that's the problem, huh?
I spend all day brooding over things that my mind is never at rest anymore. I am incapable of being content.
I bounce back and forth between periods of mania and depression so often that its making me feel phsychotic.
My personal question is, Am I a bad boyfriend? Or is this just what it means to be a guy? Or am i just a bad person in general? Or does she just not want to be close to me? Am i not what she wants? Am i that bad?
I'm constantly feeling pushed away and locked out. I'm just so tired of trying so hard when I know nothing is going to happen, over and over.
I'm trying so hard to do the right thing, and stop wanting so much... But i love her so much and i just cant deal with it anymore. She always tells me that she loves me more and that i'd never understand how much she means that... but these days i really do feel like shes wrong. I really feel like i love her much much more.
Because love is about sacrifice. Giving up your comforts and happiness for someone else.
At least that's the only way I can understand love, because thats what it feels like to me.
It has it's ups and downs I guess.
The crappy part is I know why I can't sleep. And it's because of her. Or us rather. Maybe it's just me.
I guess that's the problem, huh?
I spend all day brooding over things that my mind is never at rest anymore. I am incapable of being content.
I bounce back and forth between periods of mania and depression so often that its making me feel phsychotic.
My personal question is, Am I a bad boyfriend? Or is this just what it means to be a guy? Or am i just a bad person in general? Or does she just not want to be close to me? Am i not what she wants? Am i that bad?
I'm constantly feeling pushed away and locked out. I'm just so tired of trying so hard when I know nothing is going to happen, over and over.
I'm trying so hard to do the right thing, and stop wanting so much... But i love her so much and i just cant deal with it anymore. She always tells me that she loves me more and that i'd never understand how much she means that... but these days i really do feel like shes wrong. I really feel like i love her much much more.
Because love is about sacrifice. Giving up your comforts and happiness for someone else.
At least that's the only way I can understand love, because thats what it feels like to me.