Somebody save me
im back from my dads for a week. It was good times. the pary was okay. a lot of drama. Well two of my best friends were deffinitly flirting that night. That killed me cuz I kinda like the one but the other one im like head over heals for. So im talkin to the one i kinda still like and they dont like my other friend. but the one i like does!!!!! i was ready to die! So now im like dead inside. So we went bowling. and my friend that i kinda like flirted with me as we usally do but i think this time it was so my other friend wouldnt like them back. So i was so gratefull but then i saw how sad the one i realy like got when they saw this happening. So im like "go flirt with them, please." It killed me inside to see this happening but figured i rather have the one i like a lot be happy. well it was great sein them happy but like i said befor it was killing me well by now im ready to be buried. So after that night bobs like wana jog in the morn so im like sure so we drop everyone off and i go home. now i didnt think i was upset but i guess i kinda was so i tryed to fall asleep couldnt, started to think about em, and then cryed all morning till i fell asleep for maybe 20-30 mins tops and i was woken by the alarm. So i got up and went on a jog. so i get home went shopping to lift my spirits then crashed. then the next day andrew and i played tennis and i talked to my buddies all day and it was good except andrew went to the fair and his family said he was trying to get ahold of me to go but the girl only had a truck so i couldnt fit. i coulda sat on his lap but w/e. were goin thirsday too. i guess this frien of mine that doesnt like them had a dream about em that they were wrestleing! so now im so afriad of what might happen. um then tonight i jogged with boby. talked to em a lil bit. he thinks my one friend likes me. i hope! but its not the one im head over heals. okay and this is what kills me. okay i try and try everyday to look my best for this kid and they dont even notice. And what they do notice they make fun of me for caring so much but if i dont tdo it i look horible. and they will tell me who they like and how much and it friggin eats me away inside. i hate hearing about it but im like obsesed. i cant stop thinking about them. when i sleep a dream about them. when im not with them i hate myself. its like im a plant and they are my sun. without them im dead. i bneed them to go on. and im just some helpless kid who cant do anything about it cuz it'd fuck everything that we have up.