Oh God, he's tasted blood
WHAT DO SINGLE WOMEN DO WHEN THEY GET BITTEN BY A DOG!?
WE GET PENIS FINGERS
I swear I didn't wrap it that way, it was the nurse!
So yeah, this morning Wesker and I had an incident. Our neighbors apparently have no trouble leaving their trash out on the sidewalk and Wesker came across some kind of pork bone. He dropped it when I told him to but then I realized he still had a portion in his mouth, and when I tried to take it from him, he chomped on me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intentional because there was no growling or lunging, and he's never snapped at us, and afterwards he didn't seem to realize what had happened, and mostly I just don't want to believe he has that in him--he's the sweetest most people-loving dog ever. But I scolded him and took him straight home and then wheeeeeee to the urgent care.
Now let me tell you how gross it was and back button outta here if you're squeamish
Because it's gross.
Seriously.
Okay so he punctured me in two places, and one of them was right at my nail bed. He didn't take the nail off, he pushed the entire nail bed out of place, so that the part of the nail that was supposed to still be under the skin was overlapping my cuticle. Omg it was so gross. I wish I had a picture for you, it was so gross. When I told my work buddies everyone shuddered.
So the doctor cut that part of the nail off (most of the nail is still attached), and I got antibiotics shot into my bum, and tetanus of course, which are nothing really compared to having a chest tube put in and removed. Didn't get any stitches.
The hardest part was just having to tell everyone. When I got my antibiotic prescription filled the girl asked me about my fashionable bandage, and of course she gave me this look that says, "Oh shit, your dog is dangerous." And I tried to explain I was trying to get a bone out of his mouth and of course, that only sounds worse. And I wanted to be all "No really he wasn't being aggressive it was just an accident" but then I would have sounded like those crazy animal planet women who're all "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME HE'S EVER DONE THIS" when their dog eats someone and people look at them like "Shit lady, your dog is just MEAN" and then I'd have to shake her and say, "IT WAS MY FAULT, MY DOG IS NOT A BAD DOG, AND EVEN IF HE WERE A BAD DOG THAT WOULD ALSO BE MY FAULT SO STOP JUDGING MY DOG OKAY!???"
So I drove to work going 80mph crying down the highway like a crazy person, and bought myself some chicken McNuggets and by the time I tried to explain to my coworkers what the deal was, I had calmed down, but my hands were shaking really badly, made obvious by my medium Coke, which was really embarrassing.
But then everyone laughed about my penis-finger and one of the guys said he was really looking forward to seeing how nasty my finger was once the gauze came off, and that made me feel better. And now I'm typing with a metal brace on my finger which is REALLY loud whenever I type R T F and G.
Ugh. Gonna be funny trying to type porn this way.
Annnnnd fuck I hope this isn't just the first step in Wesker taking after his namesake D:
WE GET PENIS FINGERS
I swear I didn't wrap it that way, it was the nurse!
So yeah, this morning Wesker and I had an incident. Our neighbors apparently have no trouble leaving their trash out on the sidewalk and Wesker came across some kind of pork bone. He dropped it when I told him to but then I realized he still had a portion in his mouth, and when I tried to take it from him, he chomped on me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intentional because there was no growling or lunging, and he's never snapped at us, and afterwards he didn't seem to realize what had happened, and mostly I just don't want to believe he has that in him--he's the sweetest most people-loving dog ever. But I scolded him and took him straight home and then wheeeeeee to the urgent care.
Now let me tell you how gross it was and back button outta here if you're squeamish
Because it's gross.
Seriously.
Okay so he punctured me in two places, and one of them was right at my nail bed. He didn't take the nail off, he pushed the entire nail bed out of place, so that the part of the nail that was supposed to still be under the skin was overlapping my cuticle. Omg it was so gross. I wish I had a picture for you, it was so gross. When I told my work buddies everyone shuddered.
So the doctor cut that part of the nail off (most of the nail is still attached), and I got antibiotics shot into my bum, and tetanus of course, which are nothing really compared to having a chest tube put in and removed. Didn't get any stitches.
The hardest part was just having to tell everyone. When I got my antibiotic prescription filled the girl asked me about my fashionable bandage, and of course she gave me this look that says, "Oh shit, your dog is dangerous." And I tried to explain I was trying to get a bone out of his mouth and of course, that only sounds worse. And I wanted to be all "No really he wasn't being aggressive it was just an accident" but then I would have sounded like those crazy animal planet women who're all "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME HE'S EVER DONE THIS" when their dog eats someone and people look at them like "Shit lady, your dog is just MEAN" and then I'd have to shake her and say, "IT WAS MY FAULT, MY DOG IS NOT A BAD DOG, AND EVEN IF HE WERE A BAD DOG THAT WOULD ALSO BE MY FAULT SO STOP JUDGING MY DOG OKAY!???"
So I drove to work going 80mph crying down the highway like a crazy person, and bought myself some chicken McNuggets and by the time I tried to explain to my coworkers what the deal was, I had calmed down, but my hands were shaking really badly, made obvious by my medium Coke, which was really embarrassing.
But then everyone laughed about my penis-finger and one of the guys said he was really looking forward to seeing how nasty my finger was once the gauze came off, and that made me feel better. And now I'm typing with a metal brace on my finger which is REALLY loud whenever I type R T F and G.
Ugh. Gonna be funny trying to type porn this way.
Annnnnd fuck I hope this isn't just the first step in Wesker taking after his namesake D: