Blah!
I haven't posted in like forever. I usually post and write in a journal when things are going bad or when they are already worse to realize some of the stress or angry or even just emotions. To be honest things are good. I'm working and making some money. I have about 87 resumes sent out to different schools. During nap time (day care where all the kids sleep) I was thinking about my emotions. I don't show then or even share them. Happiness yes! I f I didn't show that I wouldn't be alive but angry I hide or worse I break it down into different levels of angry. 1) frustration, 2) annoyance, 3)mad, 4) pissed, and 5) anger. I hate showing sadness. I refuse to cry infonrt of anyopne and those that have seen me cry really do mean the world to me. Maybe this is normal or average but someties I worry about myself. Another thing, is when I do get to aanyone of my levels of anger after a little bit it just fades away. I don't know if it is really gone or if it is bottled up. I know during high school I would bottle up stuff but I think I realized the harm it can cause so I hope I have managed to stop that, but I'm not sure. I think right now I feel so lost and frustrated in my life. Lost because I have no clue what I am going to do. I want to get a job and my own classroom. Lost in my relationship.... I don't want to go to deep into it. Main thing the distance. I hate writing confessions on paper. I feel like I am unable to communitcate with anyone when it comes to personal stuff. OK enough of a confession for tonight.