so yeah
well, yesterday was sarah's (that's bill's sister) graduation party. it was interesting to say the least but at least we didn't have to talk to jill who did in fact have the gull to show up. needless to say i was extremely relieved by this fact since i know that bill would not have been able to hold his tongue and his temper in check. she really gets under his skin and considering the way that she treated him i don't blame him. of all people i know how hard it is to make peace with the past sometimes, heck i'm still dealing with my own demons. i just wish that sometimes it would be easier to let go of somethings, and those things are normally things that have happened in the past that haunt a person. i just wish that those things wouldn't a haunt a person for the rest of their life, or at least seem like it's going to. yes i know i'm probably not making any sense but that's too bad. i need to get this outta my system and i couldn't last night and it's starting to drive me crazy so it's coming out now. i just hate feeling like i'm going to be paying for one stupid mistake the rest of my life when i've already been in enough pain to last a life time.
i know that everyone as their share of problems that they are forced to deal with but you have to let people help you. that's why i'm posting this, i guess i'm hoping for some type of response even though i'm not sure that i'll get one. even one person won't help you look for someone that will, someone that you know will listen to you and that you know that you can trust and not try to screw you over in a few days, weeks or months. you know who those people are in your life, find them no matter where they are and confine in them. i'm asking you all to try to help someone when you see or know that they are in pain, your friends need you, whether they are willing to admit that fact or not. i know that right now i'm trying my hardest to help one of the closest friends that i have and i feel like i'm spinning my wheels and i'm scared for this person. there's so much pain that can't just go away and i can't make it but at the same time i don't know how to make it hurt any less either.