Crisis of faith
I don't know how many of my Livejournal friend's actually read blogs here anymore but I feelt hat I have to post this someplace and LJ was the best choice.
My family and I have been floundering for several months now, struggling to pay the essintal bills, rent, lights, food and genreal household mantiance...
We have been living on less than $1000.00 a month fsince the beginning of the year...
Chris's unemployment was revoked, we are appealing it but it does me no good right now... and child support enforcement here in Washington State is telling me that Louisiana hasn't gotten around to my case yet.
Rent is 750, Lights run about 200.00 in winter, Chris's medications and testing supplies run about 100 a month, pet food runs about 75-100 a month and I have to reapply for food stamps here this week...
Did someone do the math? If not here is what we bring in: 807.00 from my SSA, we have 807 coming in and 1150 going out... Which means SOMETHING doesn't get paid... usually lights or medications...
It's not like we aren't actively looking for work...there are NO jobs... and the ones that are coming open are snatched up by younger or "qualified" persons.
FYI, Chris was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in January, this runs in his family and he has lost his father and brother both in thier mid 40's early 50's to complications due to diabetes. His testing strips for his blood testing run around 50+ dollars, his meds although on the great and wonderful $4 plan aren't tooo spendy are still out of reach for us because we don't have any money...
I on't know how much longer I can hold on... my faith in mankind has seriously been put into questions...
Someone told me I should join a church and that when I did they could help my family... How does joining a church score me help when my family is inneed?
Don't get me wrong I have thought about this long and hard. If I join a church it will be under THIER terms and not mine... THIER beliefes and not mine... for excample... Church A is Methodist, Church B is Baptist and Church C is Catholic... all CLIAM to have a direct connection to "God" but each "God" is different... what happened to ONE BELIEF and MANY PATHS?
I am Pagan, but that does not mean I don't hold dear the Father, Son and Holy Spirit... I also hold dear that Mother Earth plays a big part in the ways of the world.
So here is my crisis of faith summed up so it makes sense I hope: I don't want to join a church just so I can recieve help for my family... for then I would ONLY be joining in order to reap the benefits and not really be joining for the fellowship and confort a church is supposed to bring a person... Also I would be almost forced into changing or pertending to change who I am spiritually in order to gain entry into said church establishment.
What ever happened to helping a fellow human without religious strings attached???
Love thine neighbor as thine self... and all that jazz...
Sighs...
Can someone help me make sense of what this world has become?
I get we're in a recession... and I am not asking for monitary assistance from my LJ friends... (But hey if you have some dough to spare... )
I just need comfort in my spirit... someone to see what I am trying to say and just acknowledge I ahve a point, however weak it may be.
Shay
My family and I have been floundering for several months now, struggling to pay the essintal bills, rent, lights, food and genreal household mantiance...
We have been living on less than $1000.00 a month fsince the beginning of the year...
Chris's unemployment was revoked, we are appealing it but it does me no good right now... and child support enforcement here in Washington State is telling me that Louisiana hasn't gotten around to my case yet.
Rent is 750, Lights run about 200.00 in winter, Chris's medications and testing supplies run about 100 a month, pet food runs about 75-100 a month and I have to reapply for food stamps here this week...
Did someone do the math? If not here is what we bring in: 807.00 from my SSA, we have 807 coming in and 1150 going out... Which means SOMETHING doesn't get paid... usually lights or medications...
It's not like we aren't actively looking for work...there are NO jobs... and the ones that are coming open are snatched up by younger or "qualified" persons.
FYI, Chris was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in January, this runs in his family and he has lost his father and brother both in thier mid 40's early 50's to complications due to diabetes. His testing strips for his blood testing run around 50+ dollars, his meds although on the great and wonderful $4 plan aren't tooo spendy are still out of reach for us because we don't have any money...
I on't know how much longer I can hold on... my faith in mankind has seriously been put into questions...
Someone told me I should join a church and that when I did they could help my family... How does joining a church score me help when my family is inneed?
Don't get me wrong I have thought about this long and hard. If I join a church it will be under THIER terms and not mine... THIER beliefes and not mine... for excample... Church A is Methodist, Church B is Baptist and Church C is Catholic... all CLIAM to have a direct connection to "God" but each "God" is different... what happened to ONE BELIEF and MANY PATHS?
I am Pagan, but that does not mean I don't hold dear the Father, Son and Holy Spirit... I also hold dear that Mother Earth plays a big part in the ways of the world.
So here is my crisis of faith summed up so it makes sense I hope: I don't want to join a church just so I can recieve help for my family... for then I would ONLY be joining in order to reap the benefits and not really be joining for the fellowship and confort a church is supposed to bring a person... Also I would be almost forced into changing or pertending to change who I am spiritually in order to gain entry into said church establishment.
What ever happened to helping a fellow human without religious strings attached???
Love thine neighbor as thine self... and all that jazz...
Sighs...
Can someone help me make sense of what this world has become?
I get we're in a recession... and I am not asking for monitary assistance from my LJ friends... (But hey if you have some dough to spare... )
I just need comfort in my spirit... someone to see what I am trying to say and just acknowledge I ahve a point, however weak it may be.
Shay