Story #278
Today was totally uplifting!!! I've been super bummed lately, too much in my head, too much solitary drunk time sobbing in my room like a dumb queerass drunk. And really, it's all still there, i just chose to ignore it all today. Hung out at home for most of the afternoon, giggling with PuPu. Said goodbye to Sky and Chance; they left for Wolf Creek and will return in a few days. Danced and smoked some spliffs, then Pu and i decided to stop being such fucking homebums and go DO SOMETHING. So we walked and walked and walked. Ran into Oak, Erik and Morgan who just got back from traveling in India. Walked some more, down to the Black Cat, drank cawfee with Pu and smoked ciggs. Daniel called me and said "FOOD NOT BOMBS, PENINSULA PARK!". So i skipped down, hung out, ate food, got loads and loads of bread for the house and then a huge group of us went to the Pink House for Pipi Longstocking movie night. Political talk, anti-political talk, gender rules, fuck the rules, homophobia and classism. I LOVE Daniel. He is so gooood. Totally inspiring. They all are. And then, during Pipi, she called. I mean, i kinda knew she would. At least, the hope was that she would. Asked me to come to the Pub tomorrow night so she can buy me a beer. I wonder if she heard the shaking in my voice. So excited! She's way hot. But as excited as i am, i'm also really fucking nervous. I know, I know...settle down...it's just a fucking beer. And i really want to hear her view of life and get to know her, but i don't want to go down the "dating" path. Why am i telling you this? no one reads this thing anyway, who gives a fuck. I'm fucking scared. There, i said it. I am literally terrified of those intimate creepy crawly butterflies in your tummy. Cause once you get those, it's all over. I am so not ready for another breakup. I'm so not even ready for all the shit leading up to the breakup. Am i getting ahead of myself here? Shuttup, i already know the answer. Don't tell me what to do. Hahahaha...big bag of nuts. um, so in retrospect: i'm neurotic and read way to far into things and should just leave things be for what they are. good, case closed. I'm hundry. Someone fucking SAY SOMETHING god dammit.