How James Potter Wore Lily Evans Down Chapter Five
Title: How James Potter Wore Lily Evans Down (5/7)
Author: Cristofle (Liz)
Characters: James/Lily in the Marauder era; ensemble friendly for that time. Will include Sirius, Lupin, Wormtail, and Snape among others, including future Death Eaters as well as Order members.
Summary: "She looked so thoroughly miserable, he couldn’t just go upstairs and leave her there without trying to make her feel better." An exchange of gifts brings James and Lily closer, a talk with Sirius brings circumstances to Lily’s attention, and the Quidditch House Cup naturally rules over all.
Spoilers: Spoilers through The Deathly Hallows
Disclaimer: If I owned anything, nobody would be named Albus Severus. I own nothing, JKR is queen and owns all things Harry Potter related. I only made up the two girls used to torment poor Lily in this chapter.
Author’s Note: As you can see, I now know exactly how many chapters there will be- there will be two more after this one. The next one is the final sixth year one, and the final one will be the start of seventh year- and we all know what happened in the seventh year!;) Also, yes. I like to use random people we know next to nothing about in this story.
Gift Exchange
Lily had thought she’d be grateful to go home for Christmas, be grateful to have a respite from seeing James and feeling all her new, whirling, and now painful feelings, but instead it was one of the worst Christmases of her life. She hadn’t been happy coming home- apart from what had happened with James, she was more keen to avoid Severus than ever and spent a lot of her time inside.
Unfortunately, that had meant being stuck in a house with her sister, who hated her more by the day, and her sister’s new boyfriend, who made James at his worst in fifth year look like an absolute saint. She’d gotten the impression that Petunia, despite warnings from their parents, had told Vernon Dursley the truth about her, as he stared at her like she was an extremely unpleasant monster in a zoo every time she came into a room. It wasn’t unlike the way every Slytherin who considered her a Mudblood stared at her.
All in all, she couldn’t say she was unhappy to go back to school.
“Your Christmas was that good, huh?”
With a start, Lily looked up from where she’d been broodingly staring into the Gryffindor fire in the common room on the first night back and realized James was standing over her. Looking around, she saw that everyone else had left the common room- it must be late. She opened her mouth to lie- it was awkward enough to talk to James these days. But her energy was depleted from having to pretend her sister’s distaste didn’t bother her all throughout the holiday. “It was thoroughly dreadful,” she admitted instead.
James frowned in concern and took the seat next to her. “Why? What happened?”
Part of her wanted to snippily ask how Susan Flannery was, but Lily found she didn’t have much strength for that either. Aside from her parents, she hadn’t had anyone look at her like they thought she was a worthwhile human being for more than a month. She couldn’t resist James’s clear genuine concern on her behalf. “My sister absolutely despises me,” she said unhappily, running her fingers through her long red hair. “She considers any second she’s not reminding me I’m a freak to be a second wasted, and I try to get used to it but it was made all the harder this holiday by the fact that she has a new boyfriend.”
“Your sister sounds so charming, I’m sure the boyfriend is a prize,” James said wryly.
Lily laughed weakly in spite of herself. “Got it in one. He was all too eager to get on the bandwagon. And my parents don’t seem to know what to do with Petunia, so they just pretend not to see that we don’t get along. It was like the ‘We Hate Lily’ Christmas,” she said moodily, staring into the fire. “Not to mention, I stayed locked up in the house the entire time.” The words escaped before she realized their implication; by the time she fully realized she’d said it, James’s brows had drawn together in confusion.
“Why? If I had a sister like that, I’d be gone as much as possible.”
Lily bit her lip and stared down at the floor. “I…well…Severus lives right down the street,” she admitted in a tiny, distinct voice. “At the beginning of last summer, when I’d take walks…it just became not worth the hassle. And after what he did to you…” she trailed off.
James simply gaped at her for a moment, and suddenly Remus’s words came back to him.
She stayed up for four hours to make sure you were alright.
He’d been so hurt by her initial reaction, her initial leap to Snape’s defense, he hadn’t even considered what she might think once she believed that Snape had cursed him in such a violent, dangerous manner.
“Does he…” James cleared his throat, struggling to regain his thoughts in some coherent way. “Did he upset you, or scare you…?”
“No, it’s not like that,” she sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. “I’m just…done. I won’t be friends with someone who uses the term Mudblood, or uses curses that could kill, or…” Or seem destined to become Death Eaters.
James felt an unexpected and altogether rare wave of guilt. Guilt wasn’t really one of his typical responses to any given situation- his mother, Remus, and Lily were the only ones who seemed able to get it out of him. He’d been so caught up in his own hatred of Severus, he hadn’t realized Lily had abruptly and cleanly cut off a friend. Just because HE hadn’t understood the friendship…apparently they’d known each other as kids, after all… “You shouldn’t let him stop you from going places,” he said abruptly. “Especially if your sister is a hateful hag,” he added, and Lily’s lips tugged in a reluctant smile.
“I should protest that description out of sisterly loyalty, but I don’t think I have much left after this Christmas.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. How was your Christmas?”
James shrugged. “Not the best, not the worst. My parents are still…” he trailed off. “Anyway, Sirius and I always have a laugh, though.”
Lily blinked in surprise. “Sirius spends Christmas with you? He doesn’t go home?”
James looked vaguely surprised that she was unaware of that. “Er…well, yeah, he’s been spending Christmas at my house since second year…but he IS going home at this point. Sirius moved in with us this past summer.”
Lily could only sit in shock for a moment. She’d had no idea Sirius’s home life was so unhappy, and yet it made sense if she thought over him- he’d once said his entire family had been in Slytherin, and yet he had a distaste for the whole lot of Slytherins that anyone could see. “That’s so generous, of your parents,” she said at length. “They must be really nice people.”
“They are,” James smiled faintly. It was odd to see his parents as ‘really nice people’ instead of just his parents, but he knew that they were, taking a step back. He looked at Lily for a long moment. “I’m sorry you had such a bad Christmas.”
Lily smiled a little sadly. “Thanks, James.”
James studied her for another minute. “Hang on,” he said suddenly, getting up. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged up the stairs, as Lily watched him, mystified. True to his word, he was back in under a minute, holding something small in his hand. “I….um…” The truth was, he’d gotten it in Hogsmeade between her finding out the truth about Remus and her brief tirade about Severus, thinking she’d at last appreciate a little Christmas present from him, and he’d stuck it in the bottom of his trunk in a fit of anger the day after their fight about Snape. He didn’t know exactly how to explain that to her, though. He hadn’t been planning on giving it to her, but she looked so thoroughly miserable, he couldn’t just go upstairs and leave her there without trying to make her feel better. “Here,” he said awkwardly, holding out the tiny box.
Lily looked up at him, baffled, before taking it. Opening it slowly, she reached inside and pulled out a pretty, tiny little glass lion.
“Little glass animals seem like something girls would like,” James explained, a dull flush rising up his neck, saying the words more to his feet than her. “And you know…always a good thing to be a Gryffindor.”
Lily just stared at the little glass figure for a moment, feeling both touched and strangely close to tears. “I do,” she said at last, clearing her throat. “I love little glass animals like this; I have a bunch at home. I’d never found a lion, though.” She looked up at him. “Thank you, James. This is really…really nice of you.”
Relieved she truly seemed to like it, James felt it safe to look at her again, and saw in her expressive green eyes that she was telling the truth. “You’re welcome.” He motioned upstairs. “Well…I better get back upstairs. Night, Lily.”
“Night, James.” Watching him go up the stairs, clutching the tiny glass lion in her hand, it was hard to remember Susan Flannery or her horrible sister or any other reason she was miserable.
Lily’s lips twitched as she glanced sideways at James and Sirius in Potions. They were supposed to be working on Gopalott’s Third Law, but James had a glazed look that screamed he wasn’t paying attention and Sirius seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep. Slughorn ignored Lily’s dorm mates, Remus didn’t like Potions, and Peter was hopeless at it, so it was just her and James, Sirius, and Kingsley of the Gryffindors or the boys’ gang of their year. Kingsley was, as usual, hard at work.
“Boys,” she whispered. “You’re supposed to be working on an antidote.”
James turned his glazed eyes to her. “I’d have to know what in the name of Merlin Slughorn was talking about in the beginning of class to do that.”
“Boys!” Slughorn approached their table; James and Sirius jumped and both scrambled to look like they were doing something useful. As usual though, Slughorn ignored laziness if he already preferred the student, which he did both James and Sirius. “Lily, my best student as always,” he beamed, patting her on the back as he glanced at her half finished antidote. “Anyway, boys, I was wondering if you were coming to my little get together this Saturday!”
Sirius shot James a look only someone who knew him would see as desperate- it gave Lily a start to realize she DID recognize it- and James quickly jumped to the rescue. “Quidditch practice, sir,” he said, schooling his face into a regretful expression.
“Ah!” Slughorn snapped his fingers in disappointment. “Well, I must say, you played brilliantly in that last game, brilliantly indeed…Sirius, what say you?”
“I…have to watch James practice,” Sirius said quickly. “He doesn’t perform well without me.” James gave him a stony look at Slughorn moved onto Kingsley and praised him as well, then went to the Ravenclaw table. “That didn’t come out right…” Sirius muttered.
Lily dissolved into hopeless giggles, resulting in James having to thump her back as she choked on the fumes of her potion. The fact that the normally serious Kingsley looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing didn’t help matters. The giggles died down more on their own t at the look of pure venom Severus shot them.
Severus was only in two of her classes. A surprising amount of people had gotten OWLs on both Charms and Defense Against The Dark Arts in their year, so the houses were still split up (although into sets of two instead of four), and he seemed to have little interest in both Transfiguration and Herbology, so he hadn’t gone for a NEWT in those. As such, he was only in Potions and Arithmancy, and Potions was the only one James also shared. At one point, the part of her that still cared about Severus had felt guilty about flashing her newfound friendship with the boy he so despised in his face- at this point, she was more worried about a repeat of the Sectumsempra disaster. James only had so much blood in his body.
James was giving her an odd look, so before he could notice what she’d been looking at, she hastily started explaining Gopalott’s Third Law to him. Thankfully, it seemed to work; James didn’t even notice Severus glaring at them. “Well, why didn’t Sluggy just SAY that?” he asked, baffled, as she finished her explanation. Slughorn had said that, but Lily chose to remain quiet about that fact. Finally, he reached for ingredients to actually make the antidote instead of simply making it look like he was doing something. As a result, Sirius and James weren’t quite up to Lily and Kingsley, but they at least didn’t get extra homework.
“You’re a lifesaver, Evans,” Sirius sighed as they left the classroom together. “McGonagall’s given us enough homework.”
“I know!” she protested, more enthusiastic than she might have been about the conversation given Severus was sliding past them. “Two rolls of parchment? You two should feel lucky you don’t take Ancient Runes.”
“How do you SLEEP?” James wondered, baffled.
“Like the dead, when I get the chance,” she admitted ruefully. “I shouldn’t have tried for a NEWT in Care of Magical Creatures; I have enough classes as it is, but I really enjoyed the subject. Nifflers and hippogriffs and unicorns…”
“Don’t pretend it’s not all about the unicorns,” James teased. “It always is for girls.” Remus caught up to them as they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch, and James clapped him on the back.
“Lily, I found a couple second year Gryffindors using a Fanged Frisbee in the common room,” Remus told her. “You might want to talk to them, I’ll point them out the next time I see them, they…”
“Did you keep it? I lost mine,” James bemoaned. He quickly backtracked when Lily turned to glare at him. “I…threw it…out the window. No, off the North Tower! Which is exactly what you should do if you kept that one, Moony.”
“…they know I have friends like this,” Remus finished ruefully, and James harrumphed. Sirius snorted.
“I’ll take care of it,” Lily said loftily, but laughed as James nudged her with his shoulder all the same. Her smile faded a little as they walked into the Great Hall together and she saw Susan Flannery look up and lock eyes with James. She sighed and sat down with Remus and Sirius, across the table from Alice, expecting James to go over to Susan. However, to her surprise, James sat down with them and reached for the food that was just appearing, as if he hadn’t noticed Susan looking at him. Lily raised her brows in surprise, wanting to ask, but not being able to get up the courage. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear about some romantic quarrel any more than she wanted to hear about the actual romance- it all led back to the same thing.
“Do you actually have Quidditch practice on Saturday?” she asked instead. “Or were you just trying to get out of Slughorn’s party?”
James shrugged. “I guess I do now. Should probably tell the team, huh?” Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
“Are you really going to watch him?” Lily asked teasingly, turning to Sirius.
“Let’s not bring up that faux pas,” Sirius muttered.
“What faux pas?” Alice and Remus asked together, and Lily had to laugh at the expressions of joint mutiny on James and Sirius’s face.
So what was that with James and Susan?
“They didn’t turn into anything.”
Lily jumped; she’d been sitting in a quiet corner of the common room. She looked up to see Sirius standing in front of her. For a second, she wondered if she was so out of it that she’d voiced the question out loud.
“You didn’t say anything,” Sirius said, once again seeming to read her mind. “You have very expressive eyes.”
Lily raised her eyebrows. “I have very expressive eyes,” she repeated dryly.
“Seemed kinder than saying your every emotion is out there for everyone to see,” Sirius shrugged, flopping down in the seat next to her, making carelessness seem graceful in only the way he seemed able to do. “And yes, I meant James and Susan. Didn’t turn into much. They went out a few times, Susan appeared to think James wasn’t really paying much attention to her, and cold shouldered him thinking she’d get him to come ‘round. Unfortunately for her, that only works when the bloke has any interest in actually paying attention to you.”
Lily’s heart leapt, even as she sternly told herself the information didn’t necessarily change anything. “Oh,” she finally said lamely.
Sirius chuckled. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to say anything. Besides, the response is still all over your face.”
Lily groaned, putting her hands over said face and leaning over in the chair. “How much are you loving this?” she asked, her voice muffled by her hands. “After all the times I scoffed at the two of you.”
“Well, that’s not it!” Sirius protested, then reconsidered. “Well, maybe that’s a little bit of it. But seriously, right now, my primary emotion is annoyance.” She looked up at him in surprise. “That you two won’t get it together,” he elaborated. “C’mon, Evans. Let’s face it. The only people who aren’t getting this are the two of you. People have bets at this point. Ravenclaws have bets.”
Lily groaned again and returned her face to her hands. “Oh, you are making me feel SO much better.”
“Now that I know you want to, you might as well give James a chance,” Sirius coaxed. “He’s clean. He’s semi house broken. He…doesn’t behave himself, but it could- well, HAS- been worse.”
Lily laughed in spite of herself, lowering her hands yet again. “Is he aware you talk about him like he’s your dog?” She looked at Sirius, realizing that this may be their first proper solo conversation. “I thought you didn’t like me,” she said at length.
“I didn’t,” Sirius shrugged unrepentantly. Surprising even herself, Lily laughed again. She had to give him points for honesty. “But…you know, James told me that you know about Remus, and you’ve been decent about that, and hey. James and I ARE arrogant little prats sometimes.”
“It’s not a chore, to be discreet about Remus,” she protested. “I like Remus a lot.”
“It’s because it’s not a chore, that I have respect for you about it,” Sirius said simply. Lily had to hand it to Sirius and James- loyalty was more a religion than a virtue with those boys.
“So?” Sirius prompted, and Lily realized with some resignation that he’d gone back to the original topic.
“Softening on you though I may be, I am still not letting you in about my love life.” She immediately regretted the choice of words as Sirius’s face lit up in a sly grin at the use of the term ‘love life’.
“Thank you, all I needed to know,” Sirius said airily, lifting himself out of the chair.
“Sirius?” Lily said warily. “You aren’t going to tell James about this entire conversation.” Sirius just grinned and waggled his fingers at her. “Sirius? SIRIUS?” But he was gone up the stairs to the boys dorms, and she sat back into her chair with a huff.
Wasn’t this just going to make the rest of the term perfect.
If James knew about the humiliating conversation Lily had with Sirius, he didn’t let on in the weeks afterwards. They’d more or less fallen back into the routine they’d had prior to Sirius cursing James and James asking out someone else, but they weren’t really talking about anything more, either. Not that they could, as James was working his team harder than ever with the approaching Quidditch House Cup game.
“Do boys even CARE about anything other than Quidditch?” Lily asked Marlene with a huffy sigh as James had his team gathered in one corner of the common room, going over a miniature Quidditch field with them two nights before the game.
“Not with the House Cup looming over them, no,” Alice answered for Marlene, sitting on the floor with her notes sprawled out in front of her.
Lily chewed on her lip. “Is it ever anything other than Gryffindor vs. Slytherin?” she wondered curiously, realizing the games had come to that in all her years at school.
“Not in about fifteen years,” Sirius’s voice piped up out of nowhere. He dropped various cakes and sweets on the little table the girls were gathered around, collapsed on the couch next to a suddenly bright red Mary and offered her a custard, which she took with trembling hands. Remus took the chair across from the couch, looking exhausted and somewhat ragged. Lily knew it was his first night back after the full moon, and she felt a pang of sympathy for him. She’d read more on werewolves in spite of herself in recent months, and according to the books, transformations were horribly painful. She knew it’d just embarrass him if she tried to call attention to it, however. “I take it you two have been raiding the kitchen?” she asked, directing the question more at Sirius.
“Remus is a prefect, and is therefore perfect and has never set a toe out of line,” Sirius answered primly, neatly stepping aside the question about his own behavior.
“It’s actually not that hard,” Mary piped up, although she said the words firmly to the treat in her hands and her face was still pink. “Those elves really are sweet; they’re thrilled to give you anything you ask for.”
“Thank you, Mary!” Sirius exclaimed, patting her on the arm and making her once again go brilliantly crimson. Lily internally shook her head- she could never decide if Sirius was being kind or not, pretending not to notice Mary had an utterly hopeless crush on him that turned her into a stammering mess every time he came near. “Anyway, back to Quidditch.”
“You, too?” Lily groaned, letting her head fall back.
“In his defense, we can’t really think of anything else,” Remus volunteered, still sounding exhausted. “James won’t let us.”
“Too true.” Lily looked up in surprise at the low, deep voice to see Kingsley, who reached out and took an éclair before sitting next to Sirius. “They’ve infected me,” Kingsley shrugged ruefully in answer to her unspoken question. “I can’t concentrate.”
“Would you PLEASE keep it down?” James suddenly groaned loudly to a tight group of fourth years sitting the closest to the team.
“You’re one to talk!” Lily called back. He made a mock face at her before turning back to his team. Lily realized Sirius was gaping at her.
“He wouldn’t even let ME get away with that!” he protested, as if this was a deeply unjust course of events.
“Lily is a prefect and therefore perfect and James would never set a toe out of line in front of her,” Remus spoke up in a surprisingly good imitation of Sirius mocking him moments before. Lily burst out laughing. Sirius really didn’t get enough grief from the too kind Remus overall; he had it coming.
“Nobody likes me,” Sirius grumbled, sinking down further into the couch. “I should go find Peter.”
“Is Peter ever bothered by the fact that you lot go looking for him when one is being given grief by another?” Lily wondered idly, examining her nails.
“Peter’s never bothered by anything,” Sirius said breezily. “Sweet, dear boy.” Lily just rolled her eyes.
And yet despite herself, Lily found herself caught up in the excitement of it all. By the time the morning of the game rolled around, she was as excited and eager to win as the rest of her House. The shift in her relationship with James had caused her former true irritation and frustration with how arrogant the game made him to fade away, leaving her with the fun and excitement of hoping her House won the Cup.
“Well, look at you,” James said into her ear as he came into the Great Hall for breakfast before sitting down beside her. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen so many Gryffindor colors on you.”
Lily smiled and shrugged, turning to him. “I even petted my little glass lion for luck,” she teased.
James laughed, although she realized with a slight start, sitting so close to him, that he was somewhat nervous. It wasn’t anything anyone who was any further away from him would see, and she wondered if he’d felt the same way last year, or the year before, when he seemed so arrogant and careless. Granted, it WAS his first year as Captain. “Well, I have nothing to worry about, then,” he said out loud.
Lily looked at him for a moment, and then made a split second decision she’d been waffling on. “Well, if you need more luck…” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wristband, red with tiny little yellow lions on it. “I made it myself.” Deciding to take it all the way before looking up into his face, she quickly reached out and slid it over his wrist. “Good luck.” Hesitantly, she slowly lifted her eyes to his face. He looked absolutely stunned at first, almost dazedly reaching with his other hand to touch the band, looking down at it. “I know it’s kind of stupid…” she said hastily.
“No, no it’s not.” James looked back up at her. “I just…thank you, Lily.” And for the first time, he seemed like a completely typical guy with a crush, flushing bright red as he spoke.
Typically, before he could say anything else, his team practically yanked him away with questions. Still, she noticed he kept his eyes on her as long as he could, and Lily smiled to herself as she turned to her friends.
The game was fast paced, exhilarating- and at points, terrifyingly dirty.
Lily, finding herself somehow sandwiched between Sirius and Remus with Peter on Remus’s other side, screamed and cheered and gasped with the rest of the crowd. James scored as seemingly effortlessly as he always did, scoring goal after goal after goal and giving Gryffindor the early lead they nearly always had as a result of his Chasing skills. She had to hand it to him- he’d never overblown his talent in Quidditch, he truly was as talented as he seemed to think he was.
Unfortunately, Lily wasn’t sure she’d ever seen so many Bludgers sent smashing his way.
He ducked and weaved as they were sent at his head, his arms, and his broom in general. At one point, one of the Slytherin Beaters came within an inch of hitting James in the head with his actual bat that would have surely knocked him off his broom, causing Lily to scream, Sirius to shout an extremely unpleasant curse in the Beater’s direction, and Professor McGonagall to yell something, if tamer, not much kinder.
“They’re going to kill him before this game ends,” Lily muttered, surprised she hadn’t caused her fingers to bleed by the way she was chewing on her nails. “Where is that stupid Gryffindor Seeker?”
“I’m not sure Hestia would thank you for calling her stupid,” Sirius said wryly.
“Oh, shut up.” Lily was too nervous to notice Sirius was finding her state of mind utterly amusing. Remus patted her on the back, although she noticed his lips twitch when she glanced sideways at him.
“GO PRONGS!” Sirius roared as James scored a penalty goal for the foul. Gryffindor was up by more than 100 points.
“If this keeps up, Gryffindor will win even if Slytherin catches the Snitch,” Remus commented, his eyes locked on the game.
“Yeah, but they need to win by 40 points to win the cup,” Peter squeaked, seemingly riveted as well.
“That’s all well and good, I want us to win as well,” Lily said impatiently. “But I’d like more for James to be in one- oh my God!” she covered her face as James was hit in the stomach with a Bludger.
“Evans, that’s happened before,” Sirius pointed out, but then without warning screamed at the Beater as he flew by their side of the stand. “YOU FILTHY CHEATING PIECE OF-!”
“And you accuse me of overreacting!” Lily protested. “And that’s happened before twice in this GAME. He won’t be able to stand up straight for a week.” Yet even as she said it, James scored yet another point, seemingly more pissed off and determined than anyone.
“IT’LL TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO BRING POTTER OFF HIS BROOM!” Sirius bellowed, and Lily started giggling in spite of herself. Her laughter vanished as James ducked yet another Bludger to the head. “Oh, I cannot take this…what?” she demanded frantically at the gasp of the crowd, then noticed Hestia Jones make a sudden dive, the Slytherin Seeker behind her. “Oh please oh please oh please…” she chanted, praying at this point that ANYONE caught the damn Snitch.
“YES!”
The scream came from nearly three fourths of the school as Hestia pulled up from her dive, the Snitch caught in her hands. Lily, stunned for an instant, screamed with everyone else and found herself in the wave- actually, LEADING the wave with Sirius, Remus, and Peter- pouring out onto the field.
James’s grin was huge as he landed and was given the House Cup by Professor Dumbledore, surrounded by his screaming, delirious team. He gave Hestia a quick hug and handed her the Cup as the other Chasers and the Beaters lifted him up in the air. Lily expected him to stay there for awhile, but suddenly his eyes fell on the small group leading the crowd onto the field, and he was sliding down, and bounding over. Lily expected him to go for his friends first, as he always did- but it was her he swept in a hug. “I guess your bracelet worked!” he breathlessly laughed in her ear. And as he whirled her around, Lily found herself at last seeing the full appeal of Quidditch.
Author: Cristofle (Liz)
Characters: James/Lily in the Marauder era; ensemble friendly for that time. Will include Sirius, Lupin, Wormtail, and Snape among others, including future Death Eaters as well as Order members.
Summary: "She looked so thoroughly miserable, he couldn’t just go upstairs and leave her there without trying to make her feel better." An exchange of gifts brings James and Lily closer, a talk with Sirius brings circumstances to Lily’s attention, and the Quidditch House Cup naturally rules over all.
Spoilers: Spoilers through The Deathly Hallows
Disclaimer: If I owned anything, nobody would be named Albus Severus. I own nothing, JKR is queen and owns all things Harry Potter related. I only made up the two girls used to torment poor Lily in this chapter.
Author’s Note: As you can see, I now know exactly how many chapters there will be- there will be two more after this one. The next one is the final sixth year one, and the final one will be the start of seventh year- and we all know what happened in the seventh year!;) Also, yes. I like to use random people we know next to nothing about in this story.
Gift Exchange
Lily had thought she’d be grateful to go home for Christmas, be grateful to have a respite from seeing James and feeling all her new, whirling, and now painful feelings, but instead it was one of the worst Christmases of her life. She hadn’t been happy coming home- apart from what had happened with James, she was more keen to avoid Severus than ever and spent a lot of her time inside.
Unfortunately, that had meant being stuck in a house with her sister, who hated her more by the day, and her sister’s new boyfriend, who made James at his worst in fifth year look like an absolute saint. She’d gotten the impression that Petunia, despite warnings from their parents, had told Vernon Dursley the truth about her, as he stared at her like she was an extremely unpleasant monster in a zoo every time she came into a room. It wasn’t unlike the way every Slytherin who considered her a Mudblood stared at her.
All in all, she couldn’t say she was unhappy to go back to school.
“Your Christmas was that good, huh?”
With a start, Lily looked up from where she’d been broodingly staring into the Gryffindor fire in the common room on the first night back and realized James was standing over her. Looking around, she saw that everyone else had left the common room- it must be late. She opened her mouth to lie- it was awkward enough to talk to James these days. But her energy was depleted from having to pretend her sister’s distaste didn’t bother her all throughout the holiday. “It was thoroughly dreadful,” she admitted instead.
James frowned in concern and took the seat next to her. “Why? What happened?”
Part of her wanted to snippily ask how Susan Flannery was, but Lily found she didn’t have much strength for that either. Aside from her parents, she hadn’t had anyone look at her like they thought she was a worthwhile human being for more than a month. She couldn’t resist James’s clear genuine concern on her behalf. “My sister absolutely despises me,” she said unhappily, running her fingers through her long red hair. “She considers any second she’s not reminding me I’m a freak to be a second wasted, and I try to get used to it but it was made all the harder this holiday by the fact that she has a new boyfriend.”
“Your sister sounds so charming, I’m sure the boyfriend is a prize,” James said wryly.
Lily laughed weakly in spite of herself. “Got it in one. He was all too eager to get on the bandwagon. And my parents don’t seem to know what to do with Petunia, so they just pretend not to see that we don’t get along. It was like the ‘We Hate Lily’ Christmas,” she said moodily, staring into the fire. “Not to mention, I stayed locked up in the house the entire time.” The words escaped before she realized their implication; by the time she fully realized she’d said it, James’s brows had drawn together in confusion.
“Why? If I had a sister like that, I’d be gone as much as possible.”
Lily bit her lip and stared down at the floor. “I…well…Severus lives right down the street,” she admitted in a tiny, distinct voice. “At the beginning of last summer, when I’d take walks…it just became not worth the hassle. And after what he did to you…” she trailed off.
James simply gaped at her for a moment, and suddenly Remus’s words came back to him.
She stayed up for four hours to make sure you were alright.
He’d been so hurt by her initial reaction, her initial leap to Snape’s defense, he hadn’t even considered what she might think once she believed that Snape had cursed him in such a violent, dangerous manner.
“Does he…” James cleared his throat, struggling to regain his thoughts in some coherent way. “Did he upset you, or scare you…?”
“No, it’s not like that,” she sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. “I’m just…done. I won’t be friends with someone who uses the term Mudblood, or uses curses that could kill, or…” Or seem destined to become Death Eaters.
James felt an unexpected and altogether rare wave of guilt. Guilt wasn’t really one of his typical responses to any given situation- his mother, Remus, and Lily were the only ones who seemed able to get it out of him. He’d been so caught up in his own hatred of Severus, he hadn’t realized Lily had abruptly and cleanly cut off a friend. Just because HE hadn’t understood the friendship…apparently they’d known each other as kids, after all… “You shouldn’t let him stop you from going places,” he said abruptly. “Especially if your sister is a hateful hag,” he added, and Lily’s lips tugged in a reluctant smile.
“I should protest that description out of sisterly loyalty, but I don’t think I have much left after this Christmas.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. How was your Christmas?”
James shrugged. “Not the best, not the worst. My parents are still…” he trailed off. “Anyway, Sirius and I always have a laugh, though.”
Lily blinked in surprise. “Sirius spends Christmas with you? He doesn’t go home?”
James looked vaguely surprised that she was unaware of that. “Er…well, yeah, he’s been spending Christmas at my house since second year…but he IS going home at this point. Sirius moved in with us this past summer.”
Lily could only sit in shock for a moment. She’d had no idea Sirius’s home life was so unhappy, and yet it made sense if she thought over him- he’d once said his entire family had been in Slytherin, and yet he had a distaste for the whole lot of Slytherins that anyone could see. “That’s so generous, of your parents,” she said at length. “They must be really nice people.”
“They are,” James smiled faintly. It was odd to see his parents as ‘really nice people’ instead of just his parents, but he knew that they were, taking a step back. He looked at Lily for a long moment. “I’m sorry you had such a bad Christmas.”
Lily smiled a little sadly. “Thanks, James.”
James studied her for another minute. “Hang on,” he said suddenly, getting up. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged up the stairs, as Lily watched him, mystified. True to his word, he was back in under a minute, holding something small in his hand. “I….um…” The truth was, he’d gotten it in Hogsmeade between her finding out the truth about Remus and her brief tirade about Severus, thinking she’d at last appreciate a little Christmas present from him, and he’d stuck it in the bottom of his trunk in a fit of anger the day after their fight about Snape. He didn’t know exactly how to explain that to her, though. He hadn’t been planning on giving it to her, but she looked so thoroughly miserable, he couldn’t just go upstairs and leave her there without trying to make her feel better. “Here,” he said awkwardly, holding out the tiny box.
Lily looked up at him, baffled, before taking it. Opening it slowly, she reached inside and pulled out a pretty, tiny little glass lion.
“Little glass animals seem like something girls would like,” James explained, a dull flush rising up his neck, saying the words more to his feet than her. “And you know…always a good thing to be a Gryffindor.”
Lily just stared at the little glass figure for a moment, feeling both touched and strangely close to tears. “I do,” she said at last, clearing her throat. “I love little glass animals like this; I have a bunch at home. I’d never found a lion, though.” She looked up at him. “Thank you, James. This is really…really nice of you.”
Relieved she truly seemed to like it, James felt it safe to look at her again, and saw in her expressive green eyes that she was telling the truth. “You’re welcome.” He motioned upstairs. “Well…I better get back upstairs. Night, Lily.”
“Night, James.” Watching him go up the stairs, clutching the tiny glass lion in her hand, it was hard to remember Susan Flannery or her horrible sister or any other reason she was miserable.
Lily’s lips twitched as she glanced sideways at James and Sirius in Potions. They were supposed to be working on Gopalott’s Third Law, but James had a glazed look that screamed he wasn’t paying attention and Sirius seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep. Slughorn ignored Lily’s dorm mates, Remus didn’t like Potions, and Peter was hopeless at it, so it was just her and James, Sirius, and Kingsley of the Gryffindors or the boys’ gang of their year. Kingsley was, as usual, hard at work.
“Boys,” she whispered. “You’re supposed to be working on an antidote.”
James turned his glazed eyes to her. “I’d have to know what in the name of Merlin Slughorn was talking about in the beginning of class to do that.”
“Boys!” Slughorn approached their table; James and Sirius jumped and both scrambled to look like they were doing something useful. As usual though, Slughorn ignored laziness if he already preferred the student, which he did both James and Sirius. “Lily, my best student as always,” he beamed, patting her on the back as he glanced at her half finished antidote. “Anyway, boys, I was wondering if you were coming to my little get together this Saturday!”
Sirius shot James a look only someone who knew him would see as desperate- it gave Lily a start to realize she DID recognize it- and James quickly jumped to the rescue. “Quidditch practice, sir,” he said, schooling his face into a regretful expression.
“Ah!” Slughorn snapped his fingers in disappointment. “Well, I must say, you played brilliantly in that last game, brilliantly indeed…Sirius, what say you?”
“I…have to watch James practice,” Sirius said quickly. “He doesn’t perform well without me.” James gave him a stony look at Slughorn moved onto Kingsley and praised him as well, then went to the Ravenclaw table. “That didn’t come out right…” Sirius muttered.
Lily dissolved into hopeless giggles, resulting in James having to thump her back as she choked on the fumes of her potion. The fact that the normally serious Kingsley looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing didn’t help matters. The giggles died down more on their own t at the look of pure venom Severus shot them.
Severus was only in two of her classes. A surprising amount of people had gotten OWLs on both Charms and Defense Against The Dark Arts in their year, so the houses were still split up (although into sets of two instead of four), and he seemed to have little interest in both Transfiguration and Herbology, so he hadn’t gone for a NEWT in those. As such, he was only in Potions and Arithmancy, and Potions was the only one James also shared. At one point, the part of her that still cared about Severus had felt guilty about flashing her newfound friendship with the boy he so despised in his face- at this point, she was more worried about a repeat of the Sectumsempra disaster. James only had so much blood in his body.
James was giving her an odd look, so before he could notice what she’d been looking at, she hastily started explaining Gopalott’s Third Law to him. Thankfully, it seemed to work; James didn’t even notice Severus glaring at them. “Well, why didn’t Sluggy just SAY that?” he asked, baffled, as she finished her explanation. Slughorn had said that, but Lily chose to remain quiet about that fact. Finally, he reached for ingredients to actually make the antidote instead of simply making it look like he was doing something. As a result, Sirius and James weren’t quite up to Lily and Kingsley, but they at least didn’t get extra homework.
“You’re a lifesaver, Evans,” Sirius sighed as they left the classroom together. “McGonagall’s given us enough homework.”
“I know!” she protested, more enthusiastic than she might have been about the conversation given Severus was sliding past them. “Two rolls of parchment? You two should feel lucky you don’t take Ancient Runes.”
“How do you SLEEP?” James wondered, baffled.
“Like the dead, when I get the chance,” she admitted ruefully. “I shouldn’t have tried for a NEWT in Care of Magical Creatures; I have enough classes as it is, but I really enjoyed the subject. Nifflers and hippogriffs and unicorns…”
“Don’t pretend it’s not all about the unicorns,” James teased. “It always is for girls.” Remus caught up to them as they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch, and James clapped him on the back.
“Lily, I found a couple second year Gryffindors using a Fanged Frisbee in the common room,” Remus told her. “You might want to talk to them, I’ll point them out the next time I see them, they…”
“Did you keep it? I lost mine,” James bemoaned. He quickly backtracked when Lily turned to glare at him. “I…threw it…out the window. No, off the North Tower! Which is exactly what you should do if you kept that one, Moony.”
“…they know I have friends like this,” Remus finished ruefully, and James harrumphed. Sirius snorted.
“I’ll take care of it,” Lily said loftily, but laughed as James nudged her with his shoulder all the same. Her smile faded a little as they walked into the Great Hall together and she saw Susan Flannery look up and lock eyes with James. She sighed and sat down with Remus and Sirius, across the table from Alice, expecting James to go over to Susan. However, to her surprise, James sat down with them and reached for the food that was just appearing, as if he hadn’t noticed Susan looking at him. Lily raised her brows in surprise, wanting to ask, but not being able to get up the courage. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear about some romantic quarrel any more than she wanted to hear about the actual romance- it all led back to the same thing.
“Do you actually have Quidditch practice on Saturday?” she asked instead. “Or were you just trying to get out of Slughorn’s party?”
James shrugged. “I guess I do now. Should probably tell the team, huh?” Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
“Are you really going to watch him?” Lily asked teasingly, turning to Sirius.
“Let’s not bring up that faux pas,” Sirius muttered.
“What faux pas?” Alice and Remus asked together, and Lily had to laugh at the expressions of joint mutiny on James and Sirius’s face.
So what was that with James and Susan?
“They didn’t turn into anything.”
Lily jumped; she’d been sitting in a quiet corner of the common room. She looked up to see Sirius standing in front of her. For a second, she wondered if she was so out of it that she’d voiced the question out loud.
“You didn’t say anything,” Sirius said, once again seeming to read her mind. “You have very expressive eyes.”
Lily raised her eyebrows. “I have very expressive eyes,” she repeated dryly.
“Seemed kinder than saying your every emotion is out there for everyone to see,” Sirius shrugged, flopping down in the seat next to her, making carelessness seem graceful in only the way he seemed able to do. “And yes, I meant James and Susan. Didn’t turn into much. They went out a few times, Susan appeared to think James wasn’t really paying much attention to her, and cold shouldered him thinking she’d get him to come ‘round. Unfortunately for her, that only works when the bloke has any interest in actually paying attention to you.”
Lily’s heart leapt, even as she sternly told herself the information didn’t necessarily change anything. “Oh,” she finally said lamely.
Sirius chuckled. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to say anything. Besides, the response is still all over your face.”
Lily groaned, putting her hands over said face and leaning over in the chair. “How much are you loving this?” she asked, her voice muffled by her hands. “After all the times I scoffed at the two of you.”
“Well, that’s not it!” Sirius protested, then reconsidered. “Well, maybe that’s a little bit of it. But seriously, right now, my primary emotion is annoyance.” She looked up at him in surprise. “That you two won’t get it together,” he elaborated. “C’mon, Evans. Let’s face it. The only people who aren’t getting this are the two of you. People have bets at this point. Ravenclaws have bets.”
Lily groaned again and returned her face to her hands. “Oh, you are making me feel SO much better.”
“Now that I know you want to, you might as well give James a chance,” Sirius coaxed. “He’s clean. He’s semi house broken. He…doesn’t behave himself, but it could- well, HAS- been worse.”
Lily laughed in spite of herself, lowering her hands yet again. “Is he aware you talk about him like he’s your dog?” She looked at Sirius, realizing that this may be their first proper solo conversation. “I thought you didn’t like me,” she said at length.
“I didn’t,” Sirius shrugged unrepentantly. Surprising even herself, Lily laughed again. She had to give him points for honesty. “But…you know, James told me that you know about Remus, and you’ve been decent about that, and hey. James and I ARE arrogant little prats sometimes.”
“It’s not a chore, to be discreet about Remus,” she protested. “I like Remus a lot.”
“It’s because it’s not a chore, that I have respect for you about it,” Sirius said simply. Lily had to hand it to Sirius and James- loyalty was more a religion than a virtue with those boys.
“So?” Sirius prompted, and Lily realized with some resignation that he’d gone back to the original topic.
“Softening on you though I may be, I am still not letting you in about my love life.” She immediately regretted the choice of words as Sirius’s face lit up in a sly grin at the use of the term ‘love life’.
“Thank you, all I needed to know,” Sirius said airily, lifting himself out of the chair.
“Sirius?” Lily said warily. “You aren’t going to tell James about this entire conversation.” Sirius just grinned and waggled his fingers at her. “Sirius? SIRIUS?” But he was gone up the stairs to the boys dorms, and she sat back into her chair with a huff.
Wasn’t this just going to make the rest of the term perfect.
If James knew about the humiliating conversation Lily had with Sirius, he didn’t let on in the weeks afterwards. They’d more or less fallen back into the routine they’d had prior to Sirius cursing James and James asking out someone else, but they weren’t really talking about anything more, either. Not that they could, as James was working his team harder than ever with the approaching Quidditch House Cup game.
“Do boys even CARE about anything other than Quidditch?” Lily asked Marlene with a huffy sigh as James had his team gathered in one corner of the common room, going over a miniature Quidditch field with them two nights before the game.
“Not with the House Cup looming over them, no,” Alice answered for Marlene, sitting on the floor with her notes sprawled out in front of her.
Lily chewed on her lip. “Is it ever anything other than Gryffindor vs. Slytherin?” she wondered curiously, realizing the games had come to that in all her years at school.
“Not in about fifteen years,” Sirius’s voice piped up out of nowhere. He dropped various cakes and sweets on the little table the girls were gathered around, collapsed on the couch next to a suddenly bright red Mary and offered her a custard, which she took with trembling hands. Remus took the chair across from the couch, looking exhausted and somewhat ragged. Lily knew it was his first night back after the full moon, and she felt a pang of sympathy for him. She’d read more on werewolves in spite of herself in recent months, and according to the books, transformations were horribly painful. She knew it’d just embarrass him if she tried to call attention to it, however. “I take it you two have been raiding the kitchen?” she asked, directing the question more at Sirius.
“Remus is a prefect, and is therefore perfect and has never set a toe out of line,” Sirius answered primly, neatly stepping aside the question about his own behavior.
“It’s actually not that hard,” Mary piped up, although she said the words firmly to the treat in her hands and her face was still pink. “Those elves really are sweet; they’re thrilled to give you anything you ask for.”
“Thank you, Mary!” Sirius exclaimed, patting her on the arm and making her once again go brilliantly crimson. Lily internally shook her head- she could never decide if Sirius was being kind or not, pretending not to notice Mary had an utterly hopeless crush on him that turned her into a stammering mess every time he came near. “Anyway, back to Quidditch.”
“You, too?” Lily groaned, letting her head fall back.
“In his defense, we can’t really think of anything else,” Remus volunteered, still sounding exhausted. “James won’t let us.”
“Too true.” Lily looked up in surprise at the low, deep voice to see Kingsley, who reached out and took an éclair before sitting next to Sirius. “They’ve infected me,” Kingsley shrugged ruefully in answer to her unspoken question. “I can’t concentrate.”
“Would you PLEASE keep it down?” James suddenly groaned loudly to a tight group of fourth years sitting the closest to the team.
“You’re one to talk!” Lily called back. He made a mock face at her before turning back to his team. Lily realized Sirius was gaping at her.
“He wouldn’t even let ME get away with that!” he protested, as if this was a deeply unjust course of events.
“Lily is a prefect and therefore perfect and James would never set a toe out of line in front of her,” Remus spoke up in a surprisingly good imitation of Sirius mocking him moments before. Lily burst out laughing. Sirius really didn’t get enough grief from the too kind Remus overall; he had it coming.
“Nobody likes me,” Sirius grumbled, sinking down further into the couch. “I should go find Peter.”
“Is Peter ever bothered by the fact that you lot go looking for him when one is being given grief by another?” Lily wondered idly, examining her nails.
“Peter’s never bothered by anything,” Sirius said breezily. “Sweet, dear boy.” Lily just rolled her eyes.
And yet despite herself, Lily found herself caught up in the excitement of it all. By the time the morning of the game rolled around, she was as excited and eager to win as the rest of her House. The shift in her relationship with James had caused her former true irritation and frustration with how arrogant the game made him to fade away, leaving her with the fun and excitement of hoping her House won the Cup.
“Well, look at you,” James said into her ear as he came into the Great Hall for breakfast before sitting down beside her. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen so many Gryffindor colors on you.”
Lily smiled and shrugged, turning to him. “I even petted my little glass lion for luck,” she teased.
James laughed, although she realized with a slight start, sitting so close to him, that he was somewhat nervous. It wasn’t anything anyone who was any further away from him would see, and she wondered if he’d felt the same way last year, or the year before, when he seemed so arrogant and careless. Granted, it WAS his first year as Captain. “Well, I have nothing to worry about, then,” he said out loud.
Lily looked at him for a moment, and then made a split second decision she’d been waffling on. “Well, if you need more luck…” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wristband, red with tiny little yellow lions on it. “I made it myself.” Deciding to take it all the way before looking up into his face, she quickly reached out and slid it over his wrist. “Good luck.” Hesitantly, she slowly lifted her eyes to his face. He looked absolutely stunned at first, almost dazedly reaching with his other hand to touch the band, looking down at it. “I know it’s kind of stupid…” she said hastily.
“No, no it’s not.” James looked back up at her. “I just…thank you, Lily.” And for the first time, he seemed like a completely typical guy with a crush, flushing bright red as he spoke.
Typically, before he could say anything else, his team practically yanked him away with questions. Still, she noticed he kept his eyes on her as long as he could, and Lily smiled to herself as she turned to her friends.
The game was fast paced, exhilarating- and at points, terrifyingly dirty.
Lily, finding herself somehow sandwiched between Sirius and Remus with Peter on Remus’s other side, screamed and cheered and gasped with the rest of the crowd. James scored as seemingly effortlessly as he always did, scoring goal after goal after goal and giving Gryffindor the early lead they nearly always had as a result of his Chasing skills. She had to hand it to him- he’d never overblown his talent in Quidditch, he truly was as talented as he seemed to think he was.
Unfortunately, Lily wasn’t sure she’d ever seen so many Bludgers sent smashing his way.
He ducked and weaved as they were sent at his head, his arms, and his broom in general. At one point, one of the Slytherin Beaters came within an inch of hitting James in the head with his actual bat that would have surely knocked him off his broom, causing Lily to scream, Sirius to shout an extremely unpleasant curse in the Beater’s direction, and Professor McGonagall to yell something, if tamer, not much kinder.
“They’re going to kill him before this game ends,” Lily muttered, surprised she hadn’t caused her fingers to bleed by the way she was chewing on her nails. “Where is that stupid Gryffindor Seeker?”
“I’m not sure Hestia would thank you for calling her stupid,” Sirius said wryly.
“Oh, shut up.” Lily was too nervous to notice Sirius was finding her state of mind utterly amusing. Remus patted her on the back, although she noticed his lips twitch when she glanced sideways at him.
“GO PRONGS!” Sirius roared as James scored a penalty goal for the foul. Gryffindor was up by more than 100 points.
“If this keeps up, Gryffindor will win even if Slytherin catches the Snitch,” Remus commented, his eyes locked on the game.
“Yeah, but they need to win by 40 points to win the cup,” Peter squeaked, seemingly riveted as well.
“That’s all well and good, I want us to win as well,” Lily said impatiently. “But I’d like more for James to be in one- oh my God!” she covered her face as James was hit in the stomach with a Bludger.
“Evans, that’s happened before,” Sirius pointed out, but then without warning screamed at the Beater as he flew by their side of the stand. “YOU FILTHY CHEATING PIECE OF-!”
“And you accuse me of overreacting!” Lily protested. “And that’s happened before twice in this GAME. He won’t be able to stand up straight for a week.” Yet even as she said it, James scored yet another point, seemingly more pissed off and determined than anyone.
“IT’LL TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO BRING POTTER OFF HIS BROOM!” Sirius bellowed, and Lily started giggling in spite of herself. Her laughter vanished as James ducked yet another Bludger to the head. “Oh, I cannot take this…what?” she demanded frantically at the gasp of the crowd, then noticed Hestia Jones make a sudden dive, the Slytherin Seeker behind her. “Oh please oh please oh please…” she chanted, praying at this point that ANYONE caught the damn Snitch.
“YES!”
The scream came from nearly three fourths of the school as Hestia pulled up from her dive, the Snitch caught in her hands. Lily, stunned for an instant, screamed with everyone else and found herself in the wave- actually, LEADING the wave with Sirius, Remus, and Peter- pouring out onto the field.
James’s grin was huge as he landed and was given the House Cup by Professor Dumbledore, surrounded by his screaming, delirious team. He gave Hestia a quick hug and handed her the Cup as the other Chasers and the Beaters lifted him up in the air. Lily expected him to stay there for awhile, but suddenly his eyes fell on the small group leading the crowd onto the field, and he was sliding down, and bounding over. Lily expected him to go for his friends first, as he always did- but it was her he swept in a hug. “I guess your bracelet worked!” he breathlessly laughed in her ear. And as he whirled her around, Lily found herself at last seeing the full appeal of Quidditch.