The ongoing upgrade of OS Cristobat
As promised,
a hodge to balance my previous post's podge.
I grew up, like many people do in this country, aware of religion but not raised with any particular faith. This served me well enough until my 20th year when something shifted inside me. This was my conflict; I've never been a big fan of dogma and organized religion to me always appeared to me little more than excuses for social gatherings; to confirm one's religious identity by comparing notes and assuming homogony of spirituality... Perhaps I'm over simplifying it but this is how it appeared to an outsider. I've always valued my logic, reason and appreciation for the scientific method. I had met far too many people who felt like faith and science were somehow in conflict with one another. Around my 14th year, I remember my dad saying something to the effect of "Ya know, son... I've never really talked to you about faith. If you are interested, we could go to a church or temple or something and you can check it out if you like." I think I said something to the effect of, "Don't worry about it."
My parents are what I affectionately call crystal shitters, a term I borrowed from another Chris who also worked in tech support. In a nut shell, it means they were hippies during the 60's and 70's, shed a bit of the aesthetic during the 80s but still retain the sense of spirituality, self healing and harmony. Having watched both of his parents waste away and die under the care of the institutions of modern medicine, my father has become a straight up medicine man. While not completely rejecting all clinical medicine, through the guidance of his own research and trial and error, he has learned to treat his own illnesses and maladies with a variety of non tradition techniques, including diet, supplements, EM and magnetic therapy, exercise and acupuncture.
But I've always been intrigued by religion. I made a point of reading the worlds major religious texts in my adolescence. The Old and New testament, the Quran, the Bahava Gita and the Tao De Jing. Things that describe the indescribable. The divine, the infinite. But I was equally moved by the sciences, in particular, the comsmilogical, then geological then biological progression of order on this planet on to the complexity of the bio/civilization. I really began to delve into what direction human beings as Earth's tool making monkeys were headed. As you might have guessed, I played a lot of those sim games (Sim City, Sim Earth, Civilizations, Populous). Something about taking a god's eye view on things was appealing.
As stated in my previous LJ entry, my life during my early 20s started to darken and I entered what they call the long dark night of the soul. Between the national uncertainties of 9/11 and the Iraq war and my financial insecurities... I became a nihilist. I also met some REAL nihilist. Rather than just kinda being 'meh' about things, these people actively put their faith in nothing. Doubt was their faith. And even from this apparently bleak view of reality, I learned something valuable. The DIY spirit of punk inserted itself into my emerging philosophy/belief system. A tradition that I couldn't modify or internalize wasn't worth having. I began to pull from a variety of sources, both traditional faith systems and otherwise. Faith is not a system to describe reality; it is a system for changing it. And faith itself need not be static. It is the most powerful and vibrant when you actively participate in it and let it grow. I noticed that systems of belief weren’t confined to holy texts. It extended into all kinds of media.
At a writer conference, this uber producer fellow (who wore a lime green tai chi outfit) made the comparison. The darkened theater and the temple. The low lights, the reverence. The only real difference is that you pay to go to the movies. I realized that I prayed at the church of the cinema. In particular, I remember the bleak dystopianism of Blade Runner had a profound effect on me, yet it also contained an ecological and empathic lullaby. Later, the materialistic rejection of modern certainty in Seven, Fight Club and the Matrix. Dark stuff, I know. I suppose its not terribly surprising that modern social networking sites have us list our media preferences right after our religion and political views.
During the run of the century, my philosophy started to go connect the dots. Taoism grew into Discordianism (from my readings of the Illuminatus Triology by Robert Anton Wilson). It is the attitude prevalent in so many of my movie heroes during the 80s and 90s personified most in the adventures of Indiana Jones. It fosters a practical intellectualism that rather than trying to control every factor, thrust oneself in the middle of things, revels in the chaos of life and the impromptu decisions that come along with it. - "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."
This further expanded to Chaos Magick after my readings of Grant Morrison's Invisibles. This took my spiritual education down a more occult path. I began to study conspiracy theory, corporate sorcery and descended briefly into the realm of the black helicopter.
But recently, my mother has introduced me to a particular form of shamanism called the Munay-ki. It is a tradition that is practiced in the Andes Mountains but is older than the beuring straight crossings. It emphasizes the importance of a human connection in an the information age and a respect for the stewardship we play in our temporal roles here. That energy is information and with the proper tools and technique we can empower both ourselves and others for change.
I am all of these things and yet none is complete without the other.
What all of this has ultimately produced in me is a confidence in myself that I wouldn't have believed possible 5 years ago. I would never have considered a move halfway across the country without certainty of employment or the promise of financial security. All of this has shown me how valuable it is to speak in the active rather than the passive voice, to be an active participant and an author in your own life. That the worst prison you will ever be thrust into is where you mind accepts limits and your options in life become crystallized.
I write this partly as a story to share with you my readers, but mostly as a mantra to repeat to myself.
a hodge to balance my previous post's podge.
I grew up, like many people do in this country, aware of religion but not raised with any particular faith. This served me well enough until my 20th year when something shifted inside me. This was my conflict; I've never been a big fan of dogma and organized religion to me always appeared to me little more than excuses for social gatherings; to confirm one's religious identity by comparing notes and assuming homogony of spirituality... Perhaps I'm over simplifying it but this is how it appeared to an outsider. I've always valued my logic, reason and appreciation for the scientific method. I had met far too many people who felt like faith and science were somehow in conflict with one another. Around my 14th year, I remember my dad saying something to the effect of "Ya know, son... I've never really talked to you about faith. If you are interested, we could go to a church or temple or something and you can check it out if you like." I think I said something to the effect of, "Don't worry about it."
My parents are what I affectionately call crystal shitters, a term I borrowed from another Chris who also worked in tech support. In a nut shell, it means they were hippies during the 60's and 70's, shed a bit of the aesthetic during the 80s but still retain the sense of spirituality, self healing and harmony. Having watched both of his parents waste away and die under the care of the institutions of modern medicine, my father has become a straight up medicine man. While not completely rejecting all clinical medicine, through the guidance of his own research and trial and error, he has learned to treat his own illnesses and maladies with a variety of non tradition techniques, including diet, supplements, EM and magnetic therapy, exercise and acupuncture.
But I've always been intrigued by religion. I made a point of reading the worlds major religious texts in my adolescence. The Old and New testament, the Quran, the Bahava Gita and the Tao De Jing. Things that describe the indescribable. The divine, the infinite. But I was equally moved by the sciences, in particular, the comsmilogical, then geological then biological progression of order on this planet on to the complexity of the bio/civilization. I really began to delve into what direction human beings as Earth's tool making monkeys were headed. As you might have guessed, I played a lot of those sim games (Sim City, Sim Earth, Civilizations, Populous). Something about taking a god's eye view on things was appealing.
As stated in my previous LJ entry, my life during my early 20s started to darken and I entered what they call the long dark night of the soul. Between the national uncertainties of 9/11 and the Iraq war and my financial insecurities... I became a nihilist. I also met some REAL nihilist. Rather than just kinda being 'meh' about things, these people actively put their faith in nothing. Doubt was their faith. And even from this apparently bleak view of reality, I learned something valuable. The DIY spirit of punk inserted itself into my emerging philosophy/belief system. A tradition that I couldn't modify or internalize wasn't worth having. I began to pull from a variety of sources, both traditional faith systems and otherwise. Faith is not a system to describe reality; it is a system for changing it. And faith itself need not be static. It is the most powerful and vibrant when you actively participate in it and let it grow. I noticed that systems of belief weren’t confined to holy texts. It extended into all kinds of media.
At a writer conference, this uber producer fellow (who wore a lime green tai chi outfit) made the comparison. The darkened theater and the temple. The low lights, the reverence. The only real difference is that you pay to go to the movies. I realized that I prayed at the church of the cinema. In particular, I remember the bleak dystopianism of Blade Runner had a profound effect on me, yet it also contained an ecological and empathic lullaby. Later, the materialistic rejection of modern certainty in Seven, Fight Club and the Matrix. Dark stuff, I know. I suppose its not terribly surprising that modern social networking sites have us list our media preferences right after our religion and political views.
During the run of the century, my philosophy started to go connect the dots. Taoism grew into Discordianism (from my readings of the Illuminatus Triology by Robert Anton Wilson). It is the attitude prevalent in so many of my movie heroes during the 80s and 90s personified most in the adventures of Indiana Jones. It fosters a practical intellectualism that rather than trying to control every factor, thrust oneself in the middle of things, revels in the chaos of life and the impromptu decisions that come along with it. - "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."
This further expanded to Chaos Magick after my readings of Grant Morrison's Invisibles. This took my spiritual education down a more occult path. I began to study conspiracy theory, corporate sorcery and descended briefly into the realm of the black helicopter.
But recently, my mother has introduced me to a particular form of shamanism called the Munay-ki. It is a tradition that is practiced in the Andes Mountains but is older than the beuring straight crossings. It emphasizes the importance of a human connection in an the information age and a respect for the stewardship we play in our temporal roles here. That energy is information and with the proper tools and technique we can empower both ourselves and others for change.
I am all of these things and yet none is complete without the other.
What all of this has ultimately produced in me is a confidence in myself that I wouldn't have believed possible 5 years ago. I would never have considered a move halfway across the country without certainty of employment or the promise of financial security. All of this has shown me how valuable it is to speak in the active rather than the passive voice, to be an active participant and an author in your own life. That the worst prison you will ever be thrust into is where you mind accepts limits and your options in life become crystallized.
I write this partly as a story to share with you my readers, but mostly as a mantra to repeat to myself.