Jan 31, 2007 13:10
It's snowing and this makes me think reflective thoughts. Snow seems to have the power to halt things - all things and people everywhere just slow down when it's snowing. It's kinda nice. And when the world slows down, the mind has a moment to think about something other than everything else.
I feel like I'm approaching the end of being young, even though I know that's not really true. I'm over half way to forty - yikes - but I still feel sometimes like time is dragging on. I heard someone say the other day that for a child, time can never go fast enough, and the older you get, the faster time really seems to go. If that's the scale by which to measure age, I guess I'm ok. I'm always waiting for what will happen next - this afternoon, tomorrow, next week, etc. When people are older, they always seem to be remembering what happened in the past. I suppose there must be some point in the middle of life when you are able to enjoy the moment you're in, with no thought of the next or memory of the last. I have a feeling it just skates by unnoticed by most. Something else to look forward to now, something to remember later.
There's great importance put on preparing for the future. Money for the future, for your children's future, a rainy day fund, a 401K plan, an IRA, social security, a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan, "where do you see yourself", and so on. It can be rather daunting to really stop and think about it, especially in reference to where you are now. I mean, I only have roughly forty years to save up for my retirement - how much money do I need for that? Sometimes I feel like I should have started saving for old age when I was still in high school. But who thinks of that? And who wants to. Is it possible to live life as it happens. There's a verse in the Bible that says something like "You shouldn't worry about anything, it won't add a single moment to your life. Look at the lilies - they don't worry and they want of nothing." So is preparing for the future freeing yourself of worry or bringing it more heavily upon yourself. If I were a lily, what would I do? Where do I see myself? How many moments have I not added to my life by worrying?
I see myself as a nearly 23 year old woman, standing in a drive-thru at a bank, watching the snow. And I can't complain about that.