(no subject)
Coming home smelling like someone you barely even know and you feel like your falling for them. But.. Then when you say something they just smile and raise an eyebrow. I wish today never existed. I mean sure it was cool with the butterflys and shit but then everything feels surreal and untouched. Maybe working myself up over nothing is what Ive learned to do. And this is just an episode of what I hoped wouldnt happen. I hate how I fell out of that circle as he held my hand staring at someone else. I thought It was finally going to be something good. Something I could brag about. but no. It was a fucking letdown and I dont even know wherre to go from here.
I wish no one knew me. And I could start oversomewhere else where I wouldnt be sitting in my shithole apartment thinking about someone who thinks of someone else. Thats not the case. Im just hurt and confused and my ego has been dropped from a large building and everyone around is watching it through the windows as it goes down. Im afraid of everything. Why do I have to be that girl that never gets the attention that she needs and why do I have to be so god damn un cool. I dont listen to the right music I dont dress the way they do.
I just want to fit in. Im so fucking sick of being a god damn outcast.
Its so rare that I bitch about life like this. But Im chain smoking and writing angry poetry in my new journal. I just need some sleep. And I need some love.
somebody help me.
I wish no one knew me. And I could start oversomewhere else where I wouldnt be sitting in my shithole apartment thinking about someone who thinks of someone else. Thats not the case. Im just hurt and confused and my ego has been dropped from a large building and everyone around is watching it through the windows as it goes down. Im afraid of everything. Why do I have to be that girl that never gets the attention that she needs and why do I have to be so god damn un cool. I dont listen to the right music I dont dress the way they do.
I just want to fit in. Im so fucking sick of being a god damn outcast.
Its so rare that I bitch about life like this. But Im chain smoking and writing angry poetry in my new journal. I just need some sleep. And I need some love.
somebody help me.