(no subject)
I'm trying something new: a new outlook. Things have to get really hard before they get better.. and yes, things are hard right now.. but, in other aspects of my life they're not. I can only think of one thing to do: just keep moving. The more I throw myself into working and working to find another job, the more likely I am to not only get one, but to have less time to do anything else, like think. The more financially stable I become, the happier I'll be about most other things. So, time to persevere and just keep going. I'm starting to figure out that not every aspect of my life is going to be great all at once. But, the things I can have control of, if I can get to where I can at least be happy about it, then I'll overall feel better.
I went running yesterday at the gym my apartment complex has an agreement with.. since there's no workout facility at the complex itself. I did probably about half a mile, pretty good since I haven't ran since... may or june? I would have gone today, but well... other things got in the way... I've got to be at work in about 3 hours anyway. That's enough time for me to go run, take a shower and get ready for work, but today, i just don't feel like it. Hopefully my feet won't hurt too badly tomorrow after work so I can go workout.
I'm trying to be whole again. It's hard.. but, I did do this to myself.. my actions were the catalyst for everything that has happened this summer.. and, I have to pay for it now. I have to look hard at myself, fix what is broken, and trust that I can be the person who I have always wanted to be, and who I know I can be. When that happens, other things will fall into place. It's hard, but it will work.. it has to. Sometimes I feel like a puzzle with missing pieces.. actually, for the last few months, I've felt like I was missing a lot of pieces. Slowly, I'm finding where I packed them away and where they've been hiding. There's a few pieces that I didn't hide.. but those will come together eventually. And if not, then I'll never truely be a complete picture. Sometimes, that happens.
I went running yesterday at the gym my apartment complex has an agreement with.. since there's no workout facility at the complex itself. I did probably about half a mile, pretty good since I haven't ran since... may or june? I would have gone today, but well... other things got in the way... I've got to be at work in about 3 hours anyway. That's enough time for me to go run, take a shower and get ready for work, but today, i just don't feel like it. Hopefully my feet won't hurt too badly tomorrow after work so I can go workout.
I'm trying to be whole again. It's hard.. but, I did do this to myself.. my actions were the catalyst for everything that has happened this summer.. and, I have to pay for it now. I have to look hard at myself, fix what is broken, and trust that I can be the person who I have always wanted to be, and who I know I can be. When that happens, other things will fall into place. It's hard, but it will work.. it has to. Sometimes I feel like a puzzle with missing pieces.. actually, for the last few months, I've felt like I was missing a lot of pieces. Slowly, I'm finding where I packed them away and where they've been hiding. There's a few pieces that I didn't hide.. but those will come together eventually. And if not, then I'll never truely be a complete picture. Sometimes, that happens.