here it is
Lately I've been on this laundry binge. I want to wash everything and got rid of 2 huge bags of clothes. I bought new detergent and a downy ball and this fantastic vanilla lavender fabric softener. Oh baby. I've been in a kind of "fuck you world" mood the past week or so...I am beyond confused about life. Not just my life but life in general. I'm learning about Buddhism in my philosophy of religion class and it's making me think and i'm questioning how i've been living. I'm looking for something that feels right and happiness that isn't temporary and I am obsessed with figuring things out. Searching for an answer to my spiritual questions...I've been doing this since I was 13. I'm keeping my mind open and this makes it hard to settle on something. I feel an immense pressure to get things right. I don't want to screw up. I don't even know what that means. I need a change. Things are becoming too repetitious. I'm living in too small a realm, I need some new scenery. I woke up with a sore throat yesterday and I know it's because I've been wearing myself down mentally. I've been too hard on myself and I need to settle down *sneeze*