Everybody's a Suspect
New York City, NY (AP) -- The New York City Police Department, in conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security, announced Sunday morning that is has foiled what could have been the worst terrorist action on American soil since the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks of 2001.
Investigating reports of suspicious breaking-and-entering activity, the NYPD apprehended what they believed was a perfectly normal, brown anthropomporphic rabbit wearing a vest. But Homeland Security agents have since confirmed that the suspect is none other than global terror mastermind Awad bin-Mohammed Fadil bin-Mohammed bin-Mahdi, architect of the 1999 Hershey's shortage, believed to have been behind the 2002 sugar-immolation murder of 147 Christian missionaries in Africa, and currently number three on the World Terror Top 40.
When asked about their certainty as to the identification, a Homeland Security spokesperson was very clear about the trail of evidence: "The suspect follows Awad Fadil's known M.O. of cleverly hiding devices of terror in and around the unsuspecting target site-- in this case, a single-family three-bedroom home in Queens-- which are then detonated when 'found'. Also, the suspect is brown." When asked if the suspect was forthcoming on details of current or future acts of terror being planned, the spokesperson declined to comment.
The news of the apprehension follows last Tuesday's capture of Nadhir bin-Sayf Duhl Fiqar bin-Mohammed, number seven on the World Terror Top 40-- previously mistaken as merely being an innocuous loaf of bread-- and occurs amid widespread public concern that the Bush administration is not doing a good enough job finding "people" to blame "stuff" on.
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For consideration: someone else has probably already done this joke better somewhere
Investigating reports of suspicious breaking-and-entering activity, the NYPD apprehended what they believed was a perfectly normal, brown anthropomporphic rabbit wearing a vest. But Homeland Security agents have since confirmed that the suspect is none other than global terror mastermind Awad bin-Mohammed Fadil bin-Mohammed bin-Mahdi, architect of the 1999 Hershey's shortage, believed to have been behind the 2002 sugar-immolation murder of 147 Christian missionaries in Africa, and currently number three on the World Terror Top 40.
When asked about their certainty as to the identification, a Homeland Security spokesperson was very clear about the trail of evidence: "The suspect follows Awad Fadil's known M.O. of cleverly hiding devices of terror in and around the unsuspecting target site-- in this case, a single-family three-bedroom home in Queens-- which are then detonated when 'found'. Also, the suspect is brown." When asked if the suspect was forthcoming on details of current or future acts of terror being planned, the spokesperson declined to comment.
The news of the apprehension follows last Tuesday's capture of Nadhir bin-Sayf Duhl Fiqar bin-Mohammed, number seven on the World Terror Top 40-- previously mistaken as merely being an innocuous loaf of bread-- and occurs amid widespread public concern that the Bush administration is not doing a good enough job finding "people" to blame "stuff" on.
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For consideration: someone else has probably already done this joke better somewhere