30: B'Midbar
"Let's go over it again."
"No! Okay? Just… no."
"What 'no'? What do you mean, 'no'?"
"I mean, we've got it."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, that's most certainly 'so'. There ain't that much to it. We've got it."
"Well, *I* want to make sure we're really sure before we start."
"Do you have any other ideas?"
"No."
"Me either. So I think that's close enough to 'sure-we're-sure' to count."
"Close enough? Close. *Enough*?"
"Yes. It's close enough, okay?"
"'Close enough' is not close enough. We need to be exact about this."
"We don't need to be exact!"
"We *do* need to be exact. Every little bit matters. We're all that's left."
"You think I don't know that? That's why I'm saying, no, it doesn't need to be exact."
"You don't think this matters?"
"I think it matters tremendously. I think it's the most important thing for us *ever*."
"But…?"
"But that doesn't mean that we have to be exact about anything anymore."
"I disagree."
"Of course you do. Obviously you do."
"I think we need to be precise and I think we need to document."
"Document…? Are you… What the… Look. That's just crazy."
"Crazy? Written documentation is essential to the continuation of civilization."
"Continuation…! Have you looked around lately? There. Ain't. No. More. Civilization!"
"There might be someone else. Eventually."
"Where? Everything's been destroyed! *We*. Destroyed. It."
"The reaction might have missed someone."
"Missed someone? You know the disassembler process just as well as I do."
"We might be wrong about some of the corner cases."
"The only corner cases are you and me! We're inoculated because we created it."
"Random mutation happens. Others were working on similar lines of development."
"Well… fair enough. Look. If they're out there, then shouldn't that be part of our documented plan?"
"I… Actually, I suppose it should."
"Okay. Fine. You know what? I'm tired of arguing. I just want to get going."
"Me, too. So let's go over it one more time."
"Fine. Written documentation. What am I going to document it on?"
"Paper."
"We actually have some paper in here? And a physical pen?"
"Yeah. Here they are."
"This is a to-do pad with your realtor's letterhead on it."
"Came in my junkmail. Along with the pen."
"I wonder how she feels about us turning the entire planet into goo-wasteland."
"You mean, how she'd feel if she hadn't been converted."
"Of course I mean that. Let's get this over with. Item. One."
"Item one. Census."
"Census: You. Me. Known population of the planet: two. Done. Noted."
"Item two. Useful Inventory."
"My remaining half-box of energy bars and four cans of Coke."
"Also, flashlight. Plus the bottle of aspirin from the wall cabinet."
"Sure."
"Item three. Goals."
"Determine what's left, including -- (new addition) -- possible other survivors."
"Item four. Route."
"Lab to emergency stairs to surface. Whatever remains of it. Beyond that, unknowable."
"Okay. Is that all written down?"
"Of course it's written down. It's like twenty words."
"Got your gear?"
"You mean my powerbars? Yeah, I got my powerbars."
"And the Coke?"
"Yes. And the freakin' Coke."
"Don't get snippy with me. Everything we do affects the rest of our lives at this point."
"We're going to be dead very soon no matter what we decide. It doesn't matter."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that defeatist talk. Let's get going."
"Fine. After you."
"Don't forget to turn the lights out as we leave."
"FOR F-- Yeah, okay. Consider it done."
------
For consideration: Numbers 1:1 - 4:20; census in the desert; the importance of keeping records
"No! Okay? Just… no."
"What 'no'? What do you mean, 'no'?"
"I mean, we've got it."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, that's most certainly 'so'. There ain't that much to it. We've got it."
"Well, *I* want to make sure we're really sure before we start."
"Do you have any other ideas?"
"No."
"Me either. So I think that's close enough to 'sure-we're-sure' to count."
"Close enough? Close. *Enough*?"
"Yes. It's close enough, okay?"
"'Close enough' is not close enough. We need to be exact about this."
"We don't need to be exact!"
"We *do* need to be exact. Every little bit matters. We're all that's left."
"You think I don't know that? That's why I'm saying, no, it doesn't need to be exact."
"You don't think this matters?"
"I think it matters tremendously. I think it's the most important thing for us *ever*."
"But…?"
"But that doesn't mean that we have to be exact about anything anymore."
"I disagree."
"Of course you do. Obviously you do."
"I think we need to be precise and I think we need to document."
"Document…? Are you… What the… Look. That's just crazy."
"Crazy? Written documentation is essential to the continuation of civilization."
"Continuation…! Have you looked around lately? There. Ain't. No. More. Civilization!"
"There might be someone else. Eventually."
"Where? Everything's been destroyed! *We*. Destroyed. It."
"The reaction might have missed someone."
"Missed someone? You know the disassembler process just as well as I do."
"We might be wrong about some of the corner cases."
"The only corner cases are you and me! We're inoculated because we created it."
"Random mutation happens. Others were working on similar lines of development."
"Well… fair enough. Look. If they're out there, then shouldn't that be part of our documented plan?"
"I… Actually, I suppose it should."
"Okay. Fine. You know what? I'm tired of arguing. I just want to get going."
"Me, too. So let's go over it one more time."
"Fine. Written documentation. What am I going to document it on?"
"Paper."
"We actually have some paper in here? And a physical pen?"
"Yeah. Here they are."
"This is a to-do pad with your realtor's letterhead on it."
"Came in my junkmail. Along with the pen."
"I wonder how she feels about us turning the entire planet into goo-wasteland."
"You mean, how she'd feel if she hadn't been converted."
"Of course I mean that. Let's get this over with. Item. One."
"Item one. Census."
"Census: You. Me. Known population of the planet: two. Done. Noted."
"Item two. Useful Inventory."
"My remaining half-box of energy bars and four cans of Coke."
"Also, flashlight. Plus the bottle of aspirin from the wall cabinet."
"Sure."
"Item three. Goals."
"Determine what's left, including -- (new addition) -- possible other survivors."
"Item four. Route."
"Lab to emergency stairs to surface. Whatever remains of it. Beyond that, unknowable."
"Okay. Is that all written down?"
"Of course it's written down. It's like twenty words."
"Got your gear?"
"You mean my powerbars? Yeah, I got my powerbars."
"And the Coke?"
"Yes. And the freakin' Coke."
"Don't get snippy with me. Everything we do affects the rest of our lives at this point."
"We're going to be dead very soon no matter what we decide. It doesn't matter."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that defeatist talk. Let's get going."
"Fine. After you."
"Don't forget to turn the lights out as we leave."
"FOR F-- Yeah, okay. Consider it done."
------
For consideration: Numbers 1:1 - 4:20; census in the desert; the importance of keeping records