Totally Caught-Up NetFlix Reviews #12
From this year, as recently as just last night!
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION: * * * *
So, after a decent (but not great) first film and a mediocre (but not terrible) sequel, they finally land the one I really liked. But then, I'm a sucker for totally ruined apocalypses. Read the Wikipedia summaries of the first two films and then watch this one, I guess. I love that the Umbrella Corporation is not only still in existence but still trying desperately to stay in denial about how out of control everything is. Apparently a fourth film is on the slate after all and I have to say: I'm actually stoked.
THE BIG LEBOWSKI: * * * * *
I hadn't seen it in a while and C had never seen it before. The Coens are very hit and miss for her but Lebowski scored - if not a strike, at least a spare. Such a fine film. And right after we watched this, that Shakespearean version got memed everywhere, right while it was fresh in my brain.
CRANK 2: * * * *
Would you believe it was possible to make a movie that is more like the original CRANK than the original CRANK? First, start literally seconds after the first film ends. Second, have Jason Statham killing dudes within three minutes at most. Then, go f'ing crazy. And I mean, asian hooker disembodied still-alive heads horse genitalia Godzilla hallucination crazy. Another of those films where I started cackling a few minutes in, from pure ridiculous joy, and more or less never stopped. Not even now. Just thinking about it makes me cackle some more. I'm cackling as I type this. And cackling again as I proof-read it before posting.
THE WIND AND THE LION: * * * *
Sean Connery as a Moroccan bandit at the start of the 20th Century. Because the last of the Berbers spoke with a Scottish brogue. Candice Bergen as his prisoner, in a sort of Kate Hepburn type role. Based on a true incident that happened a totally different way! Big scenery and swelling music, because that's how John Milius likes it! And also how I like it, sometimes. Extra bonus: the great sequences of Teddy Roosevelt back in the States dealing with the situation.
THE SILVER CHAIR: * * * *
The fourth Narnia story - done by the BBC in 1990, with all the terrible special effects that you'd expect. And some which are even worse than that. But, weirdly enough, in a few places it was strangely appealing - they use costuming and physical animatronic props as much as possible for the talking animals, and it actually was more satisfying at times than ultra-detailed motion-blurred CGI. A pretty good adaptation of the story, really nice selections of set and location that felt very close to "true" - but the real treat is Tom Baker as Puddleglum the marshwiggle.
ROBOT CHICKEN SEASON 2: * * * * *
Continues to satisfy deeply, scratching the Big Nerd Itch.
EXTRACT: * * *
Even though 1) Ben Affleck has one of his best roles in years and 2) Jason Bateman being anxious, confused, and awkward is always worth your time, this was still every bit as disappointing as you've heard. Mike Judge is great when he's funny. EXTRACT… simply isn't. Even more disjointed in construction than IDIOCRACY (* * * *), but without the fifty little individual bits of comedic genius to make it all worthwhile. C hit it exactly: every major character is in an entirely different film here. Is this an AMERICAN-BEAUTY (* * * * *)-style dramedy about a troubled marriage? Is it a hijinx stoner movie about getting in trouble on drugs? Is it a dark humor thing about being set up by a wily grifter seductress? It doesn't do any of them well, unfortunately, and there's just not enough loose laughs to be found between the cushions.
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS: * * *
Kind of tempted to only three-star this because I was really rather disappointed that it wasn't just a story that never actually happened, but rather a story that could not have ever actually happened - no pretext of being a "lost story of the war" but an actual outright wish-fulfillment fantasy. Also, several scenes that dragged on in the way that only Quentin Tarantino's love of his own dialog can drag on. But, other places where his too-clever dialog was exactly what I wanted. So, mixed bag, but ultimately I enjoyed more of it than not.
EDIT: Decided this was only a three-star film for me after all, based on the answer to the question: Will I ever feel the urge to watch all of it again? That answer is: Eh, probably not. I'd spend more time fast-forwarding than watching.
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN: * * * *
I co-pitched a kids' TV thing a few years ago with a buddy and the feedback we got back around it was that the network, at the time, was less interested in "action" and more interested in "adventure". What did that mean? A little more probing suggested that what they actually meant was that they were looking for ideas that could cut them off a slice of the Harry Potter Pie. Everybody wanted the next Harry Potter, and it showed. Remember ERAGON? And every other f'ing thing that was just like it? Yeah, well, eventually SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES bombed and the HARRY POTTER films are winding down so 2009 was definitely time for the Next Big Thing with that New Pie Smell. You know, of course, what that new pie has turned out to be. The buzzword is probably going to be something like "supernatural romance" but pared down to its essentials, you can bet money that we're going to see way too goddamn much of vampires in the next few years. All of this is to say: I am going to give 95% of it a total miss. I am going to be really goddamn picky about which vampires I invest time in. This is not because I dislike vampires. This is because I like vampires a whole goddamn lot. So, entertainment industry, if you're going to try to bring me a vampire story, look here where I've drawn a line on the wall labeled LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. You need to be at least this tall to get me to go on your ride. I will be honest: I thought the ending was sort of eh, but the rest was so marvelous, surprising, visually appealing that I'll let it get away with it. An entirely normal bunch of folks; who will live and who will die? Surprising. And the setting! It was like snow, snow itself, was an extra character in the movie. Beautiful and uncanny. I may not need to see another vampire film for several years now. Thank god. PS: I watched the NetFlix streaming version which has the good original theatrical subtitles, not the physical DVD that has the crappy new "more direct translation" subtitles.
MOON: * * * * *
You know what? I am totally fine with AVATAR (* * * *) being a jillion-dollar superblockbuster and all that, because I am entirely confident that movies like this will still get made for genre fans as well. Visually and structurally combines a bunch of great classics that I always liked (or loved): SILENT RUNNING's (* * * *) boxy robots and isolation meets ALIEN's (* * * * *) segregated settings and industrial-corporate sense meets OUTLAND's (* * * *) ticking arrival clock meets 2001's (* * * * *) entire bright-white vision of how humans would live in the spacebound environment. And bravo for slapping down the obvious tropes (like a menacingly calm AI) and then subverting them. I spotted the Hollywood Twist Ending about fifteen minutes in, and by 30 minutes in it's been revealed and blown right past and the whole film is in not so thoroughly explored territory. Might become 5-stars on a re-watching, which I will likely do imminently, probably with commentary. I haven't been "into" DVD commentary for a few years now - in general I would rather watch something new than re-watch something from the backstage area - but there's some unanswered elements in the story that I may get some more light shed on…? Anyway, Duncan Jones is now working on a film called SOURCE CODE, about which I'll say more soon, but I'm very excited at the prospect.
EDIT: Watched again, with the second commentary. Filled in some blanks... and still some bits that I guess will forever remain a mystery. But even better the second time around, just makes me want to watch a third time.
------
For consideration: not entirely certain what the next batch will bring - some history both in film and TV series forms, Adam Sandler probably, some '09 stuff I didn't get to see in the theater, some classic stuff from fifty years ago
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION: * * * *
So, after a decent (but not great) first film and a mediocre (but not terrible) sequel, they finally land the one I really liked. But then, I'm a sucker for totally ruined apocalypses. Read the Wikipedia summaries of the first two films and then watch this one, I guess. I love that the Umbrella Corporation is not only still in existence but still trying desperately to stay in denial about how out of control everything is. Apparently a fourth film is on the slate after all and I have to say: I'm actually stoked.
THE BIG LEBOWSKI: * * * * *
I hadn't seen it in a while and C had never seen it before. The Coens are very hit and miss for her but Lebowski scored - if not a strike, at least a spare. Such a fine film. And right after we watched this, that Shakespearean version got memed everywhere, right while it was fresh in my brain.
CRANK 2: * * * *
Would you believe it was possible to make a movie that is more like the original CRANK than the original CRANK? First, start literally seconds after the first film ends. Second, have Jason Statham killing dudes within three minutes at most. Then, go f'ing crazy. And I mean, asian hooker disembodied still-alive heads horse genitalia Godzilla hallucination crazy. Another of those films where I started cackling a few minutes in, from pure ridiculous joy, and more or less never stopped. Not even now. Just thinking about it makes me cackle some more. I'm cackling as I type this. And cackling again as I proof-read it before posting.
THE WIND AND THE LION: * * * *
Sean Connery as a Moroccan bandit at the start of the 20th Century. Because the last of the Berbers spoke with a Scottish brogue. Candice Bergen as his prisoner, in a sort of Kate Hepburn type role. Based on a true incident that happened a totally different way! Big scenery and swelling music, because that's how John Milius likes it! And also how I like it, sometimes. Extra bonus: the great sequences of Teddy Roosevelt back in the States dealing with the situation.
THE SILVER CHAIR: * * * *
The fourth Narnia story - done by the BBC in 1990, with all the terrible special effects that you'd expect. And some which are even worse than that. But, weirdly enough, in a few places it was strangely appealing - they use costuming and physical animatronic props as much as possible for the talking animals, and it actually was more satisfying at times than ultra-detailed motion-blurred CGI. A pretty good adaptation of the story, really nice selections of set and location that felt very close to "true" - but the real treat is Tom Baker as Puddleglum the marshwiggle.
ROBOT CHICKEN SEASON 2: * * * * *
Continues to satisfy deeply, scratching the Big Nerd Itch.
EXTRACT: * * *
Even though 1) Ben Affleck has one of his best roles in years and 2) Jason Bateman being anxious, confused, and awkward is always worth your time, this was still every bit as disappointing as you've heard. Mike Judge is great when he's funny. EXTRACT… simply isn't. Even more disjointed in construction than IDIOCRACY (* * * *), but without the fifty little individual bits of comedic genius to make it all worthwhile. C hit it exactly: every major character is in an entirely different film here. Is this an AMERICAN-BEAUTY (* * * * *)-style dramedy about a troubled marriage? Is it a hijinx stoner movie about getting in trouble on drugs? Is it a dark humor thing about being set up by a wily grifter seductress? It doesn't do any of them well, unfortunately, and there's just not enough loose laughs to be found between the cushions.
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS: * * *
Kind of tempted to only three-star this because I was really rather disappointed that it wasn't just a story that never actually happened, but rather a story that could not have ever actually happened - no pretext of being a "lost story of the war" but an actual outright wish-fulfillment fantasy. Also, several scenes that dragged on in the way that only Quentin Tarantino's love of his own dialog can drag on. But, other places where his too-clever dialog was exactly what I wanted. So, mixed bag, but ultimately I enjoyed more of it than not.
EDIT: Decided this was only a three-star film for me after all, based on the answer to the question: Will I ever feel the urge to watch all of it again? That answer is: Eh, probably not. I'd spend more time fast-forwarding than watching.
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN: * * * *
I co-pitched a kids' TV thing a few years ago with a buddy and the feedback we got back around it was that the network, at the time, was less interested in "action" and more interested in "adventure". What did that mean? A little more probing suggested that what they actually meant was that they were looking for ideas that could cut them off a slice of the Harry Potter Pie. Everybody wanted the next Harry Potter, and it showed. Remember ERAGON? And every other f'ing thing that was just like it? Yeah, well, eventually SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES bombed and the HARRY POTTER films are winding down so 2009 was definitely time for the Next Big Thing with that New Pie Smell. You know, of course, what that new pie has turned out to be. The buzzword is probably going to be something like "supernatural romance" but pared down to its essentials, you can bet money that we're going to see way too goddamn much of vampires in the next few years. All of this is to say: I am going to give 95% of it a total miss. I am going to be really goddamn picky about which vampires I invest time in. This is not because I dislike vampires. This is because I like vampires a whole goddamn lot. So, entertainment industry, if you're going to try to bring me a vampire story, look here where I've drawn a line on the wall labeled LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. You need to be at least this tall to get me to go on your ride. I will be honest: I thought the ending was sort of eh, but the rest was so marvelous, surprising, visually appealing that I'll let it get away with it. An entirely normal bunch of folks; who will live and who will die? Surprising. And the setting! It was like snow, snow itself, was an extra character in the movie. Beautiful and uncanny. I may not need to see another vampire film for several years now. Thank god. PS: I watched the NetFlix streaming version which has the good original theatrical subtitles, not the physical DVD that has the crappy new "more direct translation" subtitles.
MOON: * * * * *
You know what? I am totally fine with AVATAR (* * * *) being a jillion-dollar superblockbuster and all that, because I am entirely confident that movies like this will still get made for genre fans as well. Visually and structurally combines a bunch of great classics that I always liked (or loved): SILENT RUNNING's (* * * *) boxy robots and isolation meets ALIEN's (* * * * *) segregated settings and industrial-corporate sense meets OUTLAND's (* * * *) ticking arrival clock meets 2001's (* * * * *) entire bright-white vision of how humans would live in the spacebound environment. And bravo for slapping down the obvious tropes (like a menacingly calm AI) and then subverting them. I spotted the Hollywood Twist Ending about fifteen minutes in, and by 30 minutes in it's been revealed and blown right past and the whole film is in not so thoroughly explored territory. Might become 5-stars on a re-watching, which I will likely do imminently, probably with commentary. I haven't been "into" DVD commentary for a few years now - in general I would rather watch something new than re-watch something from the backstage area - but there's some unanswered elements in the story that I may get some more light shed on…? Anyway, Duncan Jones is now working on a film called SOURCE CODE, about which I'll say more soon, but I'm very excited at the prospect.
EDIT: Watched again, with the second commentary. Filled in some blanks... and still some bits that I guess will forever remain a mystery. But even better the second time around, just makes me want to watch a third time.
------
For consideration: not entirely certain what the next batch will bring - some history both in film and TV series forms, Adam Sandler probably, some '09 stuff I didn't get to see in the theater, some classic stuff from fifty years ago