LJ Idol Week 38: Stone

[crisp_sobriety]

1.

It happened when his elder brother Nick dragged him out to go frog catching by the river, pulling him by the hand until their boots were tromping through cold mud. Only a thin layer of trees separated the riverside from their backyard, the rushing water muffling the sounds of traffic, but it was enough to make him feel far from home. He peered

Comments

[crisp_sobriety]

It's probably destiny that this is the week I finally tackle Shibusa.

Make sure to read my awesome champion zenrat's entry, The Wolf Ring.

[jexia]

This was such a satisfying piece. Thank you.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thank you. :3

[bleodswean]

Mmmmm.....*murmured with the yummiest of intonations* I read this just before I fell asleep and it made for luscious dreaming. Thank you for that. I enjoyed this, dark and full of longing. I will think of your lady of the lake as a death figure. I really dug the older brother.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thanks so much!

I see her as a bit of a death figure myself, for my own reasons that didn't make it into the story.

[bleodswean]

Mmmmm.....*murmured with the yummiest of intonations* I read this just before I fell asleep and it made for luscious dreaming. Thank you for that. I enjoyed this, dark and full of longing. I will think of your lady of the lake as a death figure. I really dug the older brother.

[crisp_sobriety]

A comment so nice, it posted twice. :3

[tsuki_no_bara]

i guess "sweet" isn't the word for this, but it's certainly beautifully written, and i admit there's a part of me that really likes that marshall grows up with a piece of him missing because a girl in the lake took something accidentally. or took it on purpose, but never expected his brother to drag him out of the lake and away from her. in any case, i really, really liked it, especially the mirroring of his first experience at the lake (the stones being cold, the fact that he has a right to panic about drowning, his brother not having a word for what he is) in his meeting the girl the second time (her skin is cold, he has a right to panic when she kisses him, there isn't a word for what she is).

[crisp_sobriety]

Hey, I'll take sweet. :)

Thanks so much for your kind words, especially about the parallelism. I'm always interested in how structure can suggest or even generate content, and I really hoped the reader would catch that I wasn't just repeating myself to be pretty, but to make connections without spelling them out.