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Well, just to warn you...this is going to be a bitter post. I feel that I haven't been a very good friend lately. I have been investing all of my time in work, my family and of course Jace. I haven't been able to really call or see anyone in quite some time. My friends in Minnesota called me on New Years and I didn't even return their phone call. Plus my friend Kevin came to visit on a few days after christmas and since I was working I didn't even call him to tell him why I couldn't hang out. He called me up and bitched me out for being a bitch. Yeah, I deserved it..*hangs my head*. I got together with my old high school friends but haven't made plans with them since. My one friend Tania broke her tailbone wrestling with her girlfriend and I haven't even emailed her or contacted her through AIM to see how she's doing. I have become so lazy in the friends department that it just boggles my mind to see how I have sunk so low.
The friends that I have made an effort to be communicative with have no trust in me apparently. They talk to me and tell me things to a certain point but then I talk to other people and get the whole story and it makes me sad. Why couldn't they tell me what's really going on? I know that I have very strong views and opinions on things but I am open-minded and I am always here if you really need an ear, a shoulder...something. Why do people always have to hide things and brag themselves up? Just be open and honest and talk about what you really want to talk about. Tell me what's really going on. I sit there and I listen or in some cases read what my friends have to say all the while just waiting for them to talk about what's really on their mind. Trust me, I find out things whether I want to find them out or not. Its a genetic trait I have apparently because I feel as old as my grandmothers. You know how you talk to them and they are the same way, just waiting for you to start saying something substantial and waiting patiently to shovel aside all the small talk bullshit.
Its never to late to change or make up for the things that you've done or in my case haven't done. I need to get in touch with all these people and apologize for being out of touch when I really haven't meant to be. We all get busy but it shouldn't be too busy. I've been a horrible friend but the love isn't gone and my thoughts are always with you.
~K
The friends that I have made an effort to be communicative with have no trust in me apparently. They talk to me and tell me things to a certain point but then I talk to other people and get the whole story and it makes me sad. Why couldn't they tell me what's really going on? I know that I have very strong views and opinions on things but I am open-minded and I am always here if you really need an ear, a shoulder...something. Why do people always have to hide things and brag themselves up? Just be open and honest and talk about what you really want to talk about. Tell me what's really going on. I sit there and I listen or in some cases read what my friends have to say all the while just waiting for them to talk about what's really on their mind. Trust me, I find out things whether I want to find them out or not. Its a genetic trait I have apparently because I feel as old as my grandmothers. You know how you talk to them and they are the same way, just waiting for you to start saying something substantial and waiting patiently to shovel aside all the small talk bullshit.
Its never to late to change or make up for the things that you've done or in my case haven't done. I need to get in touch with all these people and apologize for being out of touch when I really haven't meant to be. We all get busy but it shouldn't be too busy. I've been a horrible friend but the love isn't gone and my thoughts are always with you.
~K