The seductive voices inside my head, promise me bliss as i suffer
You ever have one of those dreams that you know isnt real, but the feelings you get from it are?
A dream that reminds you of a video game, but can only be a faked reality.
A dream where it starts off giving you a single objective to do, destroy an object to save the world. So you go through the pain and agony to achieve this goal, ignoring all other prospects, but when the deed is done and the world is saved, instead of feeling happy and fo-filled...you feel empty and imcomplete.
So the 'game' restarts itself...and your assigned to the same goal...but this time your aware of everything around you, and you realize what else is at stake. A woman you've only met once before, in a dream you had previous to this twisted reality game, and your love for her. So against unsermountable odd and numerous set backs, not caring for the world anymore, and bordering death the whole way you make your way to save the love of your life. Eventually securing her in your arms, just as the world implodes...but you feel filled and complete, even though the world you once knew, and both your lives were over shortly after.
And as you wake up, you feel torn inside, not quite sure if your truely awake, or in just another 'reset' of the game, you have thoughts of what went on, thoughts of what happened to you, thoughts of the woman, thoughts of what sort of force love truely is...so you sit in the dark of your room, legs pressed against your chest, arms wrapped around them, resting your forhead on your knees as you think things over...time passing you by faster and faster.
Is this what love truely does to us? Allows us to place our own wellbeing aside to protect the one we love? Gives us some sort of super strength, some sort of stubborness in so that only in our own demise do we stop?
These are the sort of things that happen to me...not only a few times. Nearly once a week, i have these self-shattering dreams. Though lately..like alot of my journal entries, it seems to be about love in one form or another. I start to think too much into something, like i usually do, and i end up making a bigger deal out of it then most people would.
Most people would think, "hey it was just a dream...whats for breakfast" and never think about it again. For me, and others like me, we analyize the dream, think into what it means, and for even fewer people we end up getting obsorbed by it and just cant get rid of the memory of what went on, untill another one replaces it.
Why am i like this? Why do i have to over analyze things like my dreams? Why cant i be normal and just forget my dreams? These and many more questiosn then pop up in my head, its a vicious cycle that just wont let me go.
Ugh, im going to stop this for now. I'll try and update later today/night after i get my bloodwork done at the hospital or something...heh...maybe they'll find i have some desiese that causes all my problems? Ha..but heres to hopeing.
Untill then,
Continue to dance my little puppets.
A dream that reminds you of a video game, but can only be a faked reality.
A dream where it starts off giving you a single objective to do, destroy an object to save the world. So you go through the pain and agony to achieve this goal, ignoring all other prospects, but when the deed is done and the world is saved, instead of feeling happy and fo-filled...you feel empty and imcomplete.
So the 'game' restarts itself...and your assigned to the same goal...but this time your aware of everything around you, and you realize what else is at stake. A woman you've only met once before, in a dream you had previous to this twisted reality game, and your love for her. So against unsermountable odd and numerous set backs, not caring for the world anymore, and bordering death the whole way you make your way to save the love of your life. Eventually securing her in your arms, just as the world implodes...but you feel filled and complete, even though the world you once knew, and both your lives were over shortly after.
And as you wake up, you feel torn inside, not quite sure if your truely awake, or in just another 'reset' of the game, you have thoughts of what went on, thoughts of what happened to you, thoughts of the woman, thoughts of what sort of force love truely is...so you sit in the dark of your room, legs pressed against your chest, arms wrapped around them, resting your forhead on your knees as you think things over...time passing you by faster and faster.
Is this what love truely does to us? Allows us to place our own wellbeing aside to protect the one we love? Gives us some sort of super strength, some sort of stubborness in so that only in our own demise do we stop?
These are the sort of things that happen to me...not only a few times. Nearly once a week, i have these self-shattering dreams. Though lately..like alot of my journal entries, it seems to be about love in one form or another. I start to think too much into something, like i usually do, and i end up making a bigger deal out of it then most people would.
Most people would think, "hey it was just a dream...whats for breakfast" and never think about it again. For me, and others like me, we analyize the dream, think into what it means, and for even fewer people we end up getting obsorbed by it and just cant get rid of the memory of what went on, untill another one replaces it.
Why am i like this? Why do i have to over analyze things like my dreams? Why cant i be normal and just forget my dreams? These and many more questiosn then pop up in my head, its a vicious cycle that just wont let me go.
Ugh, im going to stop this for now. I'll try and update later today/night after i get my bloodwork done at the hospital or something...heh...maybe they'll find i have some desiese that causes all my problems? Ha..but heres to hopeing.
Untill then,
Continue to dance my little puppets.