Round and round...
Mmmkay, I don't know what to think at the moment.
First the back story. In high school I meant this girl named Kiki. Let me state before we go any further that her and I were never more than friends. So anyway, shortly after we met she started hanging around me a lot. All day at school, and would end up at my house most afternoons. To be honest I always found her to be a bit self-centered. She'd always get distracted by something going on with her no matter what the conversation, and would frequently change the subject. As a whole though, she was a polite, kind person and I enjoyed having her around. We lost touch at first after I dropped out of school, but a few months later she shows up and barely leaves my side again.
That was when I began to have a slight crush on her. It wasn't anything all consuming like other crushes I had in my teens, but it was there. I never acted on it though, because of her demeanor she never actually seemed interested. She was around all of the time, but generally spoke only of herself and never seemed to care what I had to say. Then after a few weeks, she disappears again.
...and that became the cycle of our relationship. Out of nowhere she runs into or finds someone who knows me, then figures out where I am. She pops into my life again, spends all of her time with me for a few weeks, then vanishes. First for a few months, then a year, then two, ...and today makes this last one around six.
A buddy of mine(since we were 8) who moved to Alaska a few months ago sends me a text this morning. It reads, "Kiki just sent me a message on facebook, she wants to know how to contact you." I replied, "well it has been a few years, go ahead and give her my number."
She called me five minutes later. I was warming the coupe up to go to work, and between the din of my engine and me pouring sweat because that car's a fucking oven in the summer, I was distracted and missed a lot of what she said. So I told her I really had to get going but she should call me after 8:30 when I was home. One thing I heard though, was that she'd been trying to find me for a long time this go-round, a couple of years even. Then at work I told my friend how quickly she called, and he said, "she was super excited to get that number. She said I'll never know how happy it made her."
Well, she didn't call back, and now I'm left with more questions than answers. For instance, she called me from a Minnesota area code. I don't know if she's there now, or back in Colorado with a cell from living there at some point. Is it even her phone? If I call it will she be on the other end? Why did she want to find me so badly? If she is here, has the same old cycle just begun anew? I don't know what the hell's going on anymore.
...and what bothers me the most is that I don't know what I want the answers to be.
First the back story. In high school I meant this girl named Kiki. Let me state before we go any further that her and I were never more than friends. So anyway, shortly after we met she started hanging around me a lot. All day at school, and would end up at my house most afternoons. To be honest I always found her to be a bit self-centered. She'd always get distracted by something going on with her no matter what the conversation, and would frequently change the subject. As a whole though, she was a polite, kind person and I enjoyed having her around. We lost touch at first after I dropped out of school, but a few months later she shows up and barely leaves my side again.
That was when I began to have a slight crush on her. It wasn't anything all consuming like other crushes I had in my teens, but it was there. I never acted on it though, because of her demeanor she never actually seemed interested. She was around all of the time, but generally spoke only of herself and never seemed to care what I had to say. Then after a few weeks, she disappears again.
...and that became the cycle of our relationship. Out of nowhere she runs into or finds someone who knows me, then figures out where I am. She pops into my life again, spends all of her time with me for a few weeks, then vanishes. First for a few months, then a year, then two, ...and today makes this last one around six.
A buddy of mine(since we were 8) who moved to Alaska a few months ago sends me a text this morning. It reads, "Kiki just sent me a message on facebook, she wants to know how to contact you." I replied, "well it has been a few years, go ahead and give her my number."
She called me five minutes later. I was warming the coupe up to go to work, and between the din of my engine and me pouring sweat because that car's a fucking oven in the summer, I was distracted and missed a lot of what she said. So I told her I really had to get going but she should call me after 8:30 when I was home. One thing I heard though, was that she'd been trying to find me for a long time this go-round, a couple of years even. Then at work I told my friend how quickly she called, and he said, "she was super excited to get that number. She said I'll never know how happy it made her."
Well, she didn't call back, and now I'm left with more questions than answers. For instance, she called me from a Minnesota area code. I don't know if she's there now, or back in Colorado with a cell from living there at some point. Is it even her phone? If I call it will she be on the other end? Why did she want to find me so badly? If she is here, has the same old cycle just begun anew? I don't know what the hell's going on anymore.
...and what bothers me the most is that I don't know what I want the answers to be.