AA (not the batteries)
So tonight was a very profound and interesting one for me.
tonight i went to an AA meeting in dedham with a couple other kids from my class. the school thinks that its a good idea for everyone to go and see what its like i guess, and since im not the heaviest of drinkers it really didnt strike me that it would be that impacting on me. byy no means am i an alcoholic, and if you know me you know thats not the "ya i drink alot but its not big cuz its under control so im not one." im really not. I went in thinking that if i gain anything, it will be something about my dad, and what that whole thing is about.
so i went into this thing thinking that if any of them werent in a bar watchiong the game the would be a bunch of bums. downtrodden grimy people who looked half drunk already, and showed obvious signs of their addiction. they would all be in denial about being an alcoholic and some group discussion leader would guide the way and people will share pitiful stories about drinking thier families away and how the just want their kids back, and the judge to lay off. then all the other drunks would say its gonna be ok and they would all join hands and start on the path to happiness. more hugs tears and coffee would follow and after a final goodbye adress they would go on their different ways, some home, some to bars, others to nowhere.
i could not have been more wrong.
as we walked down the stairs i honestly thought i was in the wrong place. we turned up at bingo night by accident or something. but the big banner dashed this idea. the hall was filled with people. regular everyday people you'd see at the supermarket or at the train or something. the had nice clothes, looked fed, had homes. i was surprised. as the first speaker jeff walked up to the podium to start the meeting he said the prase i had been waiting for. "Hi I'm Jeff, and I'm an Alcohilic." Jeff started with some club business, and the introduced Jane the Alcoholic, Jane introduced Jeff again, and Jeff introduced Frank. All of them started the same way. they were alcoholics. Alcoholics who had been sober for a combined 105 years. Jeff 22 years, Jane 35 years, and Frank 48 years.
yet the still call themselves alcoholics?
everyday they are faced with the same temptation a person who has been sober for 12 hours does. that first drink.
they looked normal. their stories werent so normal. they had been trough the typical alcoholic stories, causing trouble, ruining relationships: alcohol took thier lives. but now they were better, happy. they had a new found appriciation for life; they took life from alcohol.
i left the church and walked out to the car, got in and started it up jsut like every other time ive been in the car. but as i pulled out i was scared. now, anyone who has driven with me knows im not a the shyest of drivers, and i usually fail to abide by the "laws" but on this ride i went the speed limit and drove carefully. craziness. it struck me that the AA members appriciate life, and somehow i had gotten this appriciation from them. it wasnt so much about drinking, but about life.
unfortunaly this profound realization faded on route 1 after i got cut off by some norwood punk. I rode his ass and then blew by his '89 camery in the right lane. he tried to follow and sped up as i slowed down to take a right, and two seconds after he blew by me, some blue and white lights flared up behind me as i took this turn. natural reaction "SHIT!" the cop pulls the kid over seemingly from out of no where. weird huh?
a sign for my little realization? whats it mean? just a coincidence?
Why is my life filled with symbols, dreams, and prophecies?
Where is my duck?
I dont have all the answers, but i thought id be something interesting for everyone to think about. ask me if you want some more details. stay tuned my dreams are up next...
and no they are ALL about risa...
just mostly...
tonight i went to an AA meeting in dedham with a couple other kids from my class. the school thinks that its a good idea for everyone to go and see what its like i guess, and since im not the heaviest of drinkers it really didnt strike me that it would be that impacting on me. byy no means am i an alcoholic, and if you know me you know thats not the "ya i drink alot but its not big cuz its under control so im not one." im really not. I went in thinking that if i gain anything, it will be something about my dad, and what that whole thing is about.
so i went into this thing thinking that if any of them werent in a bar watchiong the game the would be a bunch of bums. downtrodden grimy people who looked half drunk already, and showed obvious signs of their addiction. they would all be in denial about being an alcoholic and some group discussion leader would guide the way and people will share pitiful stories about drinking thier families away and how the just want their kids back, and the judge to lay off. then all the other drunks would say its gonna be ok and they would all join hands and start on the path to happiness. more hugs tears and coffee would follow and after a final goodbye adress they would go on their different ways, some home, some to bars, others to nowhere.
i could not have been more wrong.
as we walked down the stairs i honestly thought i was in the wrong place. we turned up at bingo night by accident or something. but the big banner dashed this idea. the hall was filled with people. regular everyday people you'd see at the supermarket or at the train or something. the had nice clothes, looked fed, had homes. i was surprised. as the first speaker jeff walked up to the podium to start the meeting he said the prase i had been waiting for. "Hi I'm Jeff, and I'm an Alcohilic." Jeff started with some club business, and the introduced Jane the Alcoholic, Jane introduced Jeff again, and Jeff introduced Frank. All of them started the same way. they were alcoholics. Alcoholics who had been sober for a combined 105 years. Jeff 22 years, Jane 35 years, and Frank 48 years.
yet the still call themselves alcoholics?
everyday they are faced with the same temptation a person who has been sober for 12 hours does. that first drink.
they looked normal. their stories werent so normal. they had been trough the typical alcoholic stories, causing trouble, ruining relationships: alcohol took thier lives. but now they were better, happy. they had a new found appriciation for life; they took life from alcohol.
i left the church and walked out to the car, got in and started it up jsut like every other time ive been in the car. but as i pulled out i was scared. now, anyone who has driven with me knows im not a the shyest of drivers, and i usually fail to abide by the "laws" but on this ride i went the speed limit and drove carefully. craziness. it struck me that the AA members appriciate life, and somehow i had gotten this appriciation from them. it wasnt so much about drinking, but about life.
unfortunaly this profound realization faded on route 1 after i got cut off by some norwood punk. I rode his ass and then blew by his '89 camery in the right lane. he tried to follow and sped up as i slowed down to take a right, and two seconds after he blew by me, some blue and white lights flared up behind me as i took this turn. natural reaction "SHIT!" the cop pulls the kid over seemingly from out of no where. weird huh?
a sign for my little realization? whats it mean? just a coincidence?
Why is my life filled with symbols, dreams, and prophecies?
Where is my duck?
I dont have all the answers, but i thought id be something interesting for everyone to think about. ask me if you want some more details. stay tuned my dreams are up next...
and no they are ALL about risa...
just mostly...