(no subject)
I have learned a few things over the past few months...I just thought I would share. And yes, there is a good chance this will piss people off, but I don't give a fuck anymore.
There are certain people who are only friends with you under certain circumstances, for example, drama. I'm not quite sure when it happened, but I think it was sometime during Caesar. I didn't want to be a part of it in the first place, but I got talked into it by a few people and only stayed with it so I wouldn't have to write my theater paper. I didn't really think it changed who I was as a person though, yet all of a sudden, the people that I use to call my friends have no desire to hang out with me. Yes, there are still a few people who I still hang out with, very few though. Only 3. And there is 1, who has the crazy idea that I hate her, which I don't. I love her to death and I miss hanging out with her and getting flat tires with her, but I honestly figured that other people had been telling her bad things about me or not to hang out with me, so I was scared to call her. And I'm sorry for that. I plan on calling her once I have a free night and catching up on things.
I guess the thing that makes me most upset is that I never got a reason why all of a sudden, the younger one was getting the phone calls from my so-called friends and I had no one. It's great that she has friends, and I don't feel that she has "stolen" my friends from me, but rather taken my place because she is the one in drama, and like I said, you pretty much have to be in drama in order to be friends with certain people. I guess that I am a little jealous of her because she is out having fun and I'm sitting at home typing out my feelings and putting off my homework even more.
After some thought, I decided that I really don't want the phone calls anymore. I did, but things change and I really have no desire to hang out with some of the people that I'm referring to, because it's been lost. It hurts to not be included, but it gets to the point where it stops hurting, and you get over it and just worry about the people who actually still care.
There are a lot of people that I use to dislike a few weeks ago, but now...I just don't care. Because this whole thing has made me realize that most people suck ass, and the ones who don't are still there for me, so I'm better off. I'm done trying to be friends with people. It just hurts.
There are certain people who are only friends with you under certain circumstances, for example, drama. I'm not quite sure when it happened, but I think it was sometime during Caesar. I didn't want to be a part of it in the first place, but I got talked into it by a few people and only stayed with it so I wouldn't have to write my theater paper. I didn't really think it changed who I was as a person though, yet all of a sudden, the people that I use to call my friends have no desire to hang out with me. Yes, there are still a few people who I still hang out with, very few though. Only 3. And there is 1, who has the crazy idea that I hate her, which I don't. I love her to death and I miss hanging out with her and getting flat tires with her, but I honestly figured that other people had been telling her bad things about me or not to hang out with me, so I was scared to call her. And I'm sorry for that. I plan on calling her once I have a free night and catching up on things.
I guess the thing that makes me most upset is that I never got a reason why all of a sudden, the younger one was getting the phone calls from my so-called friends and I had no one. It's great that she has friends, and I don't feel that she has "stolen" my friends from me, but rather taken my place because she is the one in drama, and like I said, you pretty much have to be in drama in order to be friends with certain people. I guess that I am a little jealous of her because she is out having fun and I'm sitting at home typing out my feelings and putting off my homework even more.
After some thought, I decided that I really don't want the phone calls anymore. I did, but things change and I really have no desire to hang out with some of the people that I'm referring to, because it's been lost. It hurts to not be included, but it gets to the point where it stops hurting, and you get over it and just worry about the people who actually still care.
There are a lot of people that I use to dislike a few weeks ago, but now...I just don't care. Because this whole thing has made me realize that most people suck ass, and the ones who don't are still there for me, so I'm better off. I'm done trying to be friends with people. It just hurts.