(no subject)
I've been having illegal alien dreams. These are similar to, but not the same as my skipping class and failing school dreams. In those episodes, I'm back in high school or university, enrolled in something like "Gumshoes and Femme Fatales -- the evolution of Noir Fiction in Literature and Cinema" and the rational part of my mind is all "wait, I don't remember this course" while the dream component explains, "yeah, that's because you skipped most of the classes and we're beginning our narrative in the middle of term, right before the first big exam." So I spend the next chunk of dreamtime fretting and angsting before I realize, "hey, wait a sec, I graduated already, what am I worrying about? and besides, why would I ever skip a class about noir cinema?1"
The illegal alien dreams are similar creatures preying on some nagging worry that I might be thinking about when I go to bed. In this case, there's some piece of post 9/11 legislation that instantly revokes my visa and I'm forced to go on the run or risk imprisonment in some immigrant labor camp where Pakistani database admins and Ethiopian nurses are forced to pickup litter on the side of major highways. I'll eke out a paperless existence on cash-only jobs, driving cabs and dealing with competition from the Ukranian Taxi mafioso while furtively listening to the BBC for news of the world outside.
I woke up yesterday from one such dream thinking, "oh, well it's good that was just a dream, and I'm still a legal alien ... or am I?" That's when I fully woke up and realized that I had to drive up to Canada to renew my visa, which was expiring on that day. I've been talking to HR about upgrading my visa category to a full H1-B so that I don't have to keep on pegging my career to compliance with INS\BCIS regulations 2, but in the meantime I almost forgot that my TN visa expired on the 2nd.
So it was another drive to the Canadian border, another thirty seconds of making a U-turn and another re-entry into the US. This time, I had an immigration official with a weird sense of humor, who liked to pass the time by telling me all about the people that he's been denying recently3. It's not the sort of thing that one wants to really hear about when denying a visa means, essentially, losing a job, but the process went along fine anyway. I think the people in Highgate Springs, VT know me already, and I find that a little disconcerting.
What's more comforting is that, in the six years since I started making these runs to the border, I've done my fair share of visits to small towns along the highway, to grab gas, food and a bit of coffee to keep me awake. It's become a good excuse to explore and poke around, aided all the more so by friends who grew up in the area and can give out tips4. But, all the same, if I have to do this again, I'll be smart and just have the company file the paperwork a couple of months ahead of time with the BCIS Service Center in Nebraska.
Then again, that's what I say every year.
1 the last class that I skipped with any frequency was freshman year physics, and that's only because it was an utterly useless pre-req that we should've been able to test out of. I skipped every class and only showed up for the exams and I still got an A. the only class before that was freshman calculus, but that's because I was registered for a 7am session since I obviously forgot to check off the "Not A Morning Person" box in my university registration packet.
2 the queerest component of TN regulations is the proscribed list of qualifying professions. It's strangely specific and riddled with odd exceptions. ie. a Computer Systems Analyst is permitted, as are Technical Writers and Technologists, but say you're Programmer, and, sorry, no visa for you. This tends to unnecessarily complicate matters on the job front, one component of The Canadian Expatriate Employment Experience is teaching your HR department to essentially lie on your behalf. "Yeah, I know my job title is Web Designer, but can you re-write this job description to say that I also examine and optimize computer networks?"
3 "just the other day, we had this programmer applying for a TN with a job offer letter quoting a salary of $13,000 a month. Sorry, no programmers allowed as a TN. Can you imagine? He had to be pretty good."
the response I bit back was, "Isn't there something wrong when a talented foreigner shows up and says, 'hey I want to work at an American company and I've got an employer who wants me to work for them.' and the bureaucracy says, 'sorry, kid, we don't need anymore of you shit-hot programmer types. But if you know any horticulturalists, send them our way, 'kay?' "
4 "Tank, I need coordinates for an Italian restaurant off I-89"
technology is cool when you can call friends to get recommendations for a restaurant in an unfamiliar city. It's even cooler when you forget your friends' phone number and you wind up texting an e-mail to them and they call you back and give you directions by reading through Mapquest.
The illegal alien dreams are similar creatures preying on some nagging worry that I might be thinking about when I go to bed. In this case, there's some piece of post 9/11 legislation that instantly revokes my visa and I'm forced to go on the run or risk imprisonment in some immigrant labor camp where Pakistani database admins and Ethiopian nurses are forced to pickup litter on the side of major highways. I'll eke out a paperless existence on cash-only jobs, driving cabs and dealing with competition from the Ukranian Taxi mafioso while furtively listening to the BBC for news of the world outside.
I woke up yesterday from one such dream thinking, "oh, well it's good that was just a dream, and I'm still a legal alien ... or am I?" That's when I fully woke up and realized that I had to drive up to Canada to renew my visa, which was expiring on that day. I've been talking to HR about upgrading my visa category to a full H1-B so that I don't have to keep on pegging my career to compliance with INS\BCIS regulations 2, but in the meantime I almost forgot that my TN visa expired on the 2nd.
So it was another drive to the Canadian border, another thirty seconds of making a U-turn and another re-entry into the US. This time, I had an immigration official with a weird sense of humor, who liked to pass the time by telling me all about the people that he's been denying recently3. It's not the sort of thing that one wants to really hear about when denying a visa means, essentially, losing a job, but the process went along fine anyway. I think the people in Highgate Springs, VT know me already, and I find that a little disconcerting.
What's more comforting is that, in the six years since I started making these runs to the border, I've done my fair share of visits to small towns along the highway, to grab gas, food and a bit of coffee to keep me awake. It's become a good excuse to explore and poke around, aided all the more so by friends who grew up in the area and can give out tips4. But, all the same, if I have to do this again, I'll be smart and just have the company file the paperwork a couple of months ahead of time with the BCIS Service Center in Nebraska.
Then again, that's what I say every year.
1 the last class that I skipped with any frequency was freshman year physics, and that's only because it was an utterly useless pre-req that we should've been able to test out of. I skipped every class and only showed up for the exams and I still got an A. the only class before that was freshman calculus, but that's because I was registered for a 7am session since I obviously forgot to check off the "Not A Morning Person" box in my university registration packet.
2 the queerest component of TN regulations is the proscribed list of qualifying professions. It's strangely specific and riddled with odd exceptions. ie. a Computer Systems Analyst is permitted, as are Technical Writers and Technologists, but say you're Programmer, and, sorry, no visa for you. This tends to unnecessarily complicate matters on the job front, one component of The Canadian Expatriate Employment Experience is teaching your HR department to essentially lie on your behalf. "Yeah, I know my job title is Web Designer, but can you re-write this job description to say that I also examine and optimize computer networks?"
3 "just the other day, we had this programmer applying for a TN with a job offer letter quoting a salary of $13,000 a month. Sorry, no programmers allowed as a TN. Can you imagine? He had to be pretty good."
the response I bit back was, "Isn't there something wrong when a talented foreigner shows up and says, 'hey I want to work at an American company and I've got an employer who wants me to work for them.' and the bureaucracy says, 'sorry, kid, we don't need anymore of you shit-hot programmer types. But if you know any horticulturalists, send them our way, 'kay?' "
4 "Tank, I need coordinates for an Italian restaurant off I-89"
technology is cool when you can call friends to get recommendations for a restaurant in an unfamiliar city. It's even cooler when you forget your friends' phone number and you wind up texting an e-mail to them and they call you back and give you directions by reading through Mapquest.