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Okay, onto the second journal for the day. So, there's this guy in my life, and he's pretty much everything to me. He's been there for me pretty much every step of the way for like 3 years, helped me through a lot. I don't know what I would have done without him, I would probably, honestly, be in a deep dark place in my life and never come out of it. But there are a few things that just eat at me about him, one is his drinking because he has already been to the point where a doctor has given him three months to live, and right then and there he quit cold turkey. But after those three months passed..he started back up again..and he's pretty much back to his norm. Also...I know I don't know everything about him, and about his past..but sometimes I wish he would just sit down with me and tell me everything, but I have a gut feeling that it will never happen. I don't know I kinda feel...I don't wanna say left out..in his life...I just can't think of the right word for it.
I kinda feel like at some points I'm more adult than he is, and he's a freshman in college, out there in the real world, and I'm just a junior in high school. I'm not supposed to feel more adult than him..he's supposed to act older than me, not the other way around. I kind of feel like if I were to go into college right now..I would be ready, it may be hard but I would be ready to deal with the hardships of it, him, just the way he acts there, sort of slacks off..shit like that...makes me feel like he doesn't want to be there, like he isn't ready to grow up yet. He's a wonderful person in the all-in-all, like he's there for everyone he loves dearly, and all that, but when it comes to growing up, it just seems like he's not ready.
I just...I don't know...this guy never ceases to confuse the hell out of me. He's like a humongous puzzle that I don't think I will ever figure out totally, I think that there is always going to be piece of this puzzle missing, and I just wish it didn't have to be that way, because he pretty much knows me inside out.
I kinda feel like at some points I'm more adult than he is, and he's a freshman in college, out there in the real world, and I'm just a junior in high school. I'm not supposed to feel more adult than him..he's supposed to act older than me, not the other way around. I kind of feel like if I were to go into college right now..I would be ready, it may be hard but I would be ready to deal with the hardships of it, him, just the way he acts there, sort of slacks off..shit like that...makes me feel like he doesn't want to be there, like he isn't ready to grow up yet. He's a wonderful person in the all-in-all, like he's there for everyone he loves dearly, and all that, but when it comes to growing up, it just seems like he's not ready.
I just...I don't know...this guy never ceases to confuse the hell out of me. He's like a humongous puzzle that I don't think I will ever figure out totally, I think that there is always going to be piece of this puzzle missing, and I just wish it didn't have to be that way, because he pretty much knows me inside out.