(no subject)
Today was a weird day. Well...yesterday was also weird. Yesterday i got "hypothetically" asked out by some guy...jeff amos? or soemthing like that. I respectfully told him i was married. To terrence. I didnt know how else to tell him no..i feel bad for people when i say no..cause i also have the fear of rejection...which is why i cant get up enough balls to ask someone i like..out. (and no i do not have balls) Which is part of the reason why i kinda said no to this kid. Cause i dont like him like that, and for the other part is that i already like somone. And when i did this to myself last year, lets just say i had a certain obsession with someone(not in a stalkerish way) but when i just finally gave up cause i saw no hope, and went out with someone, i find out that this kid....that ive liked the whole flippin year...was thinking about asking me out. I hated myself fot it. But that was then, this is now. Anyways, today some girl named Jackie came up to me and jsut started talking about Jeff and how he likes me or something, and i was like..oh no. It doesnt even matter about looks, but jsut how he is...hes not my type of person...more like good friends. And i dont mean to say that and crush him...cause i feel horrible. But i really really do like someone else. I just fear that if i, me, haley brill....(which if youve known me, its a huge thing for em not to be so shy) ask this person out...or if he at least finds out that i like him...that i'll jsut be crushed. People tell me just to take the chance...but im jsut...i dunno, afraid i guess...i wonder if he even has any idea how much i like him. I dunno, i guess i'll never know, cause im to scared. Damnit...and i promised myself i wouldnt get into this whole lovey dovey crap this year on v-day. So, so typical. But...i dunno. Maybe if im wicked lucky...which i highly, highly doubt it...that maybe this person likes me to. Damnit, already said to much on my mind. I just think about him alot...and wonder....holy...i need to shut it, write about now. I'll go work on my songs that are never gonna get anywhere cause im never gonna be famous like i wanted...peace out