Overall a pretty bad day...
Today had pointless fights... I got home from sleeping over at Michelle's house around 11:30 and I was going to NOT go to this little dance team bbq we were having at Tera's house, shortly after Lauren calls me up and tells me her mom WON'T let her go, thus I was like "damn it all"... So I RSVPed to the bbq (started at 6:00 pm), ironicly at 4:00 pm Lauren calls me back again telling me she can go to the game, once again, I call my mom and ask her, she gets mad and hangs up on me... ugh... when she gets home we have this HUGE argument about me not wanting to go to the bbq and go to the football game. We get all mad at eachother and my dad, mom and me, goto the bbq, for the first 10-15 minutes I just kinda stood there, away from the group... later I went outside and talked to the girls, which wanted to go to the football game! There was supposed to be like 25 people there, but only like 5 girls were there, but YAY anyways! So we ask Sarah, she was kind of dissapointed but she let us go. I got a ride there with Natalie, hung out with Lauren, Dan, little Dan, Brandon, Gabe, Hannah, Matt, Jessica and a whole bunch of other people, and at half time, I called Colin, I knew he was going to be there, and I wanted to chill with him because he's a really kewl kid, and I feel like we're kind of fading away from even being friends anymore... so him and Mike came and sat with me ^.^ and we talked and stuff, it was fun. Around 3rd quarter, I kind of mellowed out... either my head was in my hands or on Laurens shoulder. But when the game was all over, I poked Hannah and almost dropped her causing me to stumble and accidently hit Colin, his knee hit the rail and hurt him. I regained my balance holding Hannah and set her down... Colin wasn't to happy with me... when the game was all over, he said bye and left. I was going to explain to him what happened, but he just kinda walked... I know he heard me yelling for him to come back, but he didn't... I called him, he ignored it, I texted him and I think he ignored it too... *bites lip* God... I feel so bad... I am going to get some ice cream, and sit in the dark watching a movie... so many things are racing though my mind tonight... I was going to do something at the game tonight... I don't know why I didn't... I don't know what happened... god damn me. I think I really need to find out where my mind is right now... "I go where my heart beckons me, and I go with my head high. But sometimes, I need to bleed so my heart swims above my head." -author unknown. it's natural reaction for me to want to bleed... I don't think I will because it upsets a lot of people... I'm sorry to all of you who I've scared or hurt... time to go watch the one and only, sexy, Johnny Depp in POTC, and drown myself in cold, ice cream... I think there was one sucess today... us beating Mesa Ridge 35 to 6 which they aquired in the last 8 minutes of the 4th quarter...
**edit***
*sigh* my dad and I got in another fight today, thats the third one with my parents today... except this one was different... this one got a little physical which hasn't happened in a few months, it was supprising... I cried myself to sleep for the first time in a few good weeks... all in all, today was a below average day... maybe even consittered bad with a single few good parts, which most likley led to someting bad in the end... whatever.
**end of edit**
ALTER BRIDGE LYRICS
"Open Your Eyes" - This has become one of my most favored songs throughout this week. If you haven't listened to it, definatly do so. Go to http://launch.yahoo.com/artist/videos.asp?artistID=1105466 and click where it says "Open Your Eyes".
Looking back I clearly see
What it is that's killing me
Through the eyes of one I know
I see a vision once let go
I had it all
Constantly it burdens me
Hard to trust and can't believe
Lost the faith and lost the love
When the day is done
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
On and on we stand alone
Until our day has come
When they open their eyes
And realize we are one
I love the way I feel today
But how I know the sun will fade
Darker days seem to be
What will always live in me
But still I run
It's hard to walk this path alone
Hard to know which way to go
Will I ever save this day
Will it ever change
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
Still today we carry on
I know our day will come
When they open their eyes
And realize we are one
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
(its hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go)
Will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(lost the faith and lost the love when the day is done)
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
**another edit (1:13 pm)**
O_O what the heck!? I am sitting here at the compuer with my feet up on the chair and my knees pulled up to my chest with my arms inbetween them resting on the seat (nothing bad for you gross people. *shakes head*) and she just walks in and asks me what I'm doing and turns my hands over and looks at my wrists... I asked her what she was doing and she replied "just checking" and walked out. God... I feel so untrusted, it's insane about how shocked I am right now at her after she just did that... *rolls eyes*
**edit***
*sigh* my dad and I got in another fight today, thats the third one with my parents today... except this one was different... this one got a little physical which hasn't happened in a few months, it was supprising... I cried myself to sleep for the first time in a few good weeks... all in all, today was a below average day... maybe even consittered bad with a single few good parts, which most likley led to someting bad in the end... whatever.
**end of edit**
ALTER BRIDGE LYRICS
"Open Your Eyes" - This has become one of my most favored songs throughout this week. If you haven't listened to it, definatly do so. Go to http://launch.yahoo.com/artist/videos.asp?artistID=1105466 and click where it says "Open Your Eyes".
Looking back I clearly see
What it is that's killing me
Through the eyes of one I know
I see a vision once let go
I had it all
Constantly it burdens me
Hard to trust and can't believe
Lost the faith and lost the love
When the day is done
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
On and on we stand alone
Until our day has come
When they open their eyes
And realize we are one
I love the way I feel today
But how I know the sun will fade
Darker days seem to be
What will always live in me
But still I run
It's hard to walk this path alone
Hard to know which way to go
Will I ever save this day
Will it ever change
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
Still today we carry on
I know our day will come
When they open their eyes
And realize we are one
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
(its hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go)
Will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(lost the faith and lost the love when the day is done)
Will they open their eyes
And realize we are one
**another edit (1:13 pm)**
O_O what the heck!? I am sitting here at the compuer with my feet up on the chair and my knees pulled up to my chest with my arms inbetween them resting on the seat (nothing bad for you gross people. *shakes head*) and she just walks in and asks me what I'm doing and turns my hands over and looks at my wrists... I asked her what she was doing and she replied "just checking" and walked out. God... I feel so untrusted, it's insane about how shocked I am right now at her after she just did that... *rolls eyes*