singing... yet again
GED, Dutchess Community College, etc. All that can wait -- I've already doomed it to never being written about by saying I would later anyway :\ -- because...
Today Yesterday was my last voice lesson. **dramatic pause**
So Thoughts on My Last Voice Lesson:
This isn't as finite as I'm making it sound/as I feel it is, but because it feels so finite, it feels just a bit too big for me to grasp, to have thoughts on [it]. I think partly my mind is protecting me as well. I think it thinks that I'm not ready to handle the amount of sadness I would feel at the idea of never singing again. And it's right, but... that goes back to the finite thing. It's not as finite and tragic as "never singing again." .... **some indecipherable thoughts** By the way, by that (the indecipherable thing) I mean... I've come to the conclusion that my thoughts are kind of like FLAC. Not all media players support it; some do if you install a plugin. Of course, the ones that do support it [without needing a plugin] are awesome, and are the type of person that I seek out. Additionally, because FLAC is uncompressed, I have to compress, or convert to mp3, my thoughts to be able to put them into words, because uncompressed they're just too complicated for me to articulate (and because everyone can play mp3s... hehe). However, sometimes my audio codec is on the fritz, and I can't covert them. In this case, it's not the codec, but rather that the entire media player isn't working quite right and can't read the FLAC files (yes, sometimes even I can't understand what I'm thinking)... or the files are corrupt and contain errors and as a result can't be read... something like that -- more of the latter actually I think...
Anyway, back to my last voice lesson. ...Damn it, not only are the files unreadable, but in the time that I've spent on that [somewhat technically incorrect] analogy, there's been some kind of deletion of temporary files or emptying of the cache, and I can't remember what I was going to write about next. ... ...Oh good! I've recovered it. I feel like I should feel a lot sadder than I do; I barely feel sad at all, and that's why I think my mind is sort of protecting me. What I am feeling -- and it hit me a lot sooner than I thought it would -- is regret. I thought my mind would firewall (I have to continue with this computer/software/whatever-flavored analogy now) the regret much more than the sadness. However, just minutes after leaving the Music Box I was regretting not having enrolled for the summer. Although I don't think it was caused by this, I think it's still worth mentioning that on my way out, Toni (owner of the Music Box) said, "We'll see you in a couple weeks." ....**too much CPU usage for the media player to work**
Right... I really can't remember where I was going with this now.
Time for a reboot.
Today Yesterday was my last voice lesson. **dramatic pause**
So Thoughts on My Last Voice Lesson:
This isn't as finite as I'm making it sound/as I feel it is, but because it feels so finite, it feels just a bit too big for me to grasp, to have thoughts on [it]. I think partly my mind is protecting me as well. I think it thinks that I'm not ready to handle the amount of sadness I would feel at the idea of never singing again. And it's right, but... that goes back to the finite thing. It's not as finite and tragic as "never singing again." .... **some indecipherable thoughts** By the way, by that (the indecipherable thing) I mean... I've come to the conclusion that my thoughts are kind of like FLAC. Not all media players support it; some do if you install a plugin. Of course, the ones that do support it [without needing a plugin] are awesome, and are the type of person that I seek out. Additionally, because FLAC is uncompressed, I have to compress, or convert to mp3, my thoughts to be able to put them into words, because uncompressed they're just too complicated for me to articulate (and because everyone can play mp3s... hehe). However, sometimes my audio codec is on the fritz, and I can't covert them. In this case, it's not the codec, but rather that the entire media player isn't working quite right and can't read the FLAC files (yes, sometimes even I can't understand what I'm thinking)... or the files are corrupt and contain errors and as a result can't be read... something like that -- more of the latter actually I think...
Anyway, back to my last voice lesson. ...Damn it, not only are the files unreadable, but in the time that I've spent on that [somewhat technically incorrect] analogy, there's been some kind of deletion of temporary files or emptying of the cache, and I can't remember what I was going to write about next. ... ...Oh good! I've recovered it. I feel like I should feel a lot sadder than I do; I barely feel sad at all, and that's why I think my mind is sort of protecting me. What I am feeling -- and it hit me a lot sooner than I thought it would -- is regret. I thought my mind would firewall (I have to continue with this computer/software/whatever-flavored analogy now) the regret much more than the sadness. However, just minutes after leaving the Music Box I was regretting not having enrolled for the summer. Although I don't think it was caused by this, I think it's still worth mentioning that on my way out, Toni (owner of the Music Box) said, "We'll see you in a couple weeks." ....**too much CPU usage for the media player to work**
Right... I really can't remember where I was going with this now.
Time for a reboot.