reincarnation, lifes lessons, and family....
Reincarnation: some believe, some don’t. I feel as though life is nothing more than a school where our personal experiences are our classes, in which we are given many lessons to learn. Some, we pick up right away while others, take more time for us to figure out. But what happens at the end of the school day? What happens is our bodies are tired and we pass on from this life. The question is, Do we get to come back to school tomorrow for the next class? Or is that all there is? I believe that we are given the chance to come back and work on the lessons we didn’t learn and start learning new ones.
But what about the people that are in our lives? Some come and go like any student in school who has one of your classes, our friends are some of those. Others are more of a permanent feature in our education, like the ones we call family.
Friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even sometimes lovers play a temporary roll in our lives. We may learn some lessons from them. We may help them learn some lessons. Or we may even be blessed enough to be able to learn lessons with them. While they may only be in our lives for a few weeks, months, or years, they are still able to greatly affect us. Sometimes we are able to learn and grow with them for a longer period of time, these are normally considered our closest of friends, and are the second biggest external teaching factor in our lives.
Family happens to be the most influential of all the people that are in our lives, thus it makes sense that they are also the ones that we learn the most from. They are like the kids that happen to be in half of your classes because that group of students are kept together for your core classes. They are also the ones that we are most likely to wish weren’t in our lives. And that actually brings me to the reason why I am writing this.
Some people believe that we have no control over who our family is. Others believe that we are given the choice before we are born and just don’t remember. Those who believe that we have the choice feel that we sit down before we are reborn and are able to chose the curriculum for the school of life that we are about to enter as well as those who would be our teachers and who will be learning with us.
Every now and then our family is there for us when we didn’t realize we need them in ways we wish they wouldn’t be. They are the ones that have the most affect on shaping us into good, educated, patient, spiritual, compassionate people. They know how to push our buttons, make us break down, and also be there to pick us up when we fall.
I think that the biggest lessons they teach us are patience and temperance. With out temperance we would all just be ticking time bombs wait to explode at the first person that looks at us wrong. Without patience we would not be able to fully embrace the other lesson we are meant to learn.
Tonight I found myself in a situation I never thought I would see. I was in the car with my Mom, Dad, Bro, Jason (my other half), and John’s friend. I actually felt as though I had been transported into this strange alternate reality where a situation from high school was now seriously warped. Instead of it being me and my friend and me going off on John, it was reversed. This friend of his reminds me soooo much of one of my former friends that I am glad is no longer in my life. And he reminded me of the way I used to act towards him.
Sitting there with them in a confined space I was able to understand what it must have been like for him to be around me back then. After we droped her off at her house it was still hell on earth. I felt then, and still partly feel now, as though anything I say or do will never be enough for my family. On top of that I feel like nothing about me will ever be seen as “right” in their eyes. I try to answer a question my mom asked and my bro jumps down my throat saying that what I think is full of shit…. Its MY beliefs, MY thoughts, MY religion. What is religion but our own personal experiences with the higher power and how we see it and relate to it? How can my relations and views be wrong when its what works for me? Where dose ANYONE get off telling another person that what they think and believe is wrong when it comes to something so personal?
Thanks to everything that has been going on in my life I was able to postpone the inevitable depression that I knew was coming. May 9th was the 10 year anniversary of my grandmothers passing. I was so busy with work, the fact that I am gonna be moving, and attempting to help a friend with their problems that I made it through the day without a single tear shed. I miss her more right now then I think I would have if I hade given myself time to remember her properly. Well that postponement unfournatly is now over. I am face to face with a black pit that I used to call home and I feel like just one little spec of dust landing on the tip of my shoe will send me failing into that horrid abyss.
If you made it all the way through this then I have to say thank you for caring enough to read and I have more real friends then I though I did. I love all of you and don’t know what my life would be like without you.
But what about the people that are in our lives? Some come and go like any student in school who has one of your classes, our friends are some of those. Others are more of a permanent feature in our education, like the ones we call family.
Friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even sometimes lovers play a temporary roll in our lives. We may learn some lessons from them. We may help them learn some lessons. Or we may even be blessed enough to be able to learn lessons with them. While they may only be in our lives for a few weeks, months, or years, they are still able to greatly affect us. Sometimes we are able to learn and grow with them for a longer period of time, these are normally considered our closest of friends, and are the second biggest external teaching factor in our lives.
Family happens to be the most influential of all the people that are in our lives, thus it makes sense that they are also the ones that we learn the most from. They are like the kids that happen to be in half of your classes because that group of students are kept together for your core classes. They are also the ones that we are most likely to wish weren’t in our lives. And that actually brings me to the reason why I am writing this.
Some people believe that we have no control over who our family is. Others believe that we are given the choice before we are born and just don’t remember. Those who believe that we have the choice feel that we sit down before we are reborn and are able to chose the curriculum for the school of life that we are about to enter as well as those who would be our teachers and who will be learning with us.
Every now and then our family is there for us when we didn’t realize we need them in ways we wish they wouldn’t be. They are the ones that have the most affect on shaping us into good, educated, patient, spiritual, compassionate people. They know how to push our buttons, make us break down, and also be there to pick us up when we fall.
I think that the biggest lessons they teach us are patience and temperance. With out temperance we would all just be ticking time bombs wait to explode at the first person that looks at us wrong. Without patience we would not be able to fully embrace the other lesson we are meant to learn.
Tonight I found myself in a situation I never thought I would see. I was in the car with my Mom, Dad, Bro, Jason (my other half), and John’s friend. I actually felt as though I had been transported into this strange alternate reality where a situation from high school was now seriously warped. Instead of it being me and my friend and me going off on John, it was reversed. This friend of his reminds me soooo much of one of my former friends that I am glad is no longer in my life. And he reminded me of the way I used to act towards him.
Sitting there with them in a confined space I was able to understand what it must have been like for him to be around me back then. After we droped her off at her house it was still hell on earth. I felt then, and still partly feel now, as though anything I say or do will never be enough for my family. On top of that I feel like nothing about me will ever be seen as “right” in their eyes. I try to answer a question my mom asked and my bro jumps down my throat saying that what I think is full of shit…. Its MY beliefs, MY thoughts, MY religion. What is religion but our own personal experiences with the higher power and how we see it and relate to it? How can my relations and views be wrong when its what works for me? Where dose ANYONE get off telling another person that what they think and believe is wrong when it comes to something so personal?
Thanks to everything that has been going on in my life I was able to postpone the inevitable depression that I knew was coming. May 9th was the 10 year anniversary of my grandmothers passing. I was so busy with work, the fact that I am gonna be moving, and attempting to help a friend with their problems that I made it through the day without a single tear shed. I miss her more right now then I think I would have if I hade given myself time to remember her properly. Well that postponement unfournatly is now over. I am face to face with a black pit that I used to call home and I feel like just one little spec of dust landing on the tip of my shoe will send me failing into that horrid abyss.
If you made it all the way through this then I have to say thank you for caring enough to read and I have more real friends then I though I did. I love all of you and don’t know what my life would be like without you.