are you a sensitive individual ??
PART I ::
BEING SENSITIVE - IN AN INSENSITIVE WORLD
All your life you thought something was wrong with you. You were uncomfortable around noise. No one understood your need to be alone. You seem to know things without being told. The good news is that you are not dysfunctional. You are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). You are not the only one; you share this trait with a small minority of the population who are referred to as shy or timid.
Overwhelming Stimuli
HSPs respond strongly to external stimuli, and become exhausted from taking in and processing these stimuli. They are born with a nervous system that may see, hear, smell or feel more than others. As adults, they may also think, reflect or notice more than others. The processing is largely unconscious or body-conscious. HSPs grow up feeling flawed, especially when loud music, crowds of people, or simply a busy day stresses them. At such times, they need quiet time alone to recover.
Childhood
Problems can begin in childhood if their sensitivities are not recognized. They can experience deep trauma, even in the womb if they were not wanted. Highly sensitive babies are more peaceful when alone. Certain people terrify them; toy mobiles upset them, rocking irritates them, and changes in weather make them restless. They may be colicky, and their digestive systems may not tolerate food that is too hot or too cold. If the needs of the baby are ignored the child becomes insecure.
Sensitive babies are also very creative and aware. They may walk early or smile a lot. As infants and toddlers they may experience sensory overload from the newness of things. When old enough, they spend time alone to regain their balance and energy.
What Works and What Doesn't
This hyper-awareness to their environment makes HSPs cautious. Any kind of change can be difficult. They are not known for their rash actions. They foresee the consequences of words and actions. HSPs can feel happy in their hearts on a joyous occasion but are unable to express it. They are seen as inhibited or unsociable. They do not like social situations and prefer having deep intimate conversations with someone one on one.
Rather than forcing themselves to fit in and be more outgoing, HSPs need to learn to appreciate their sensitivity in less stimulating ways. Developing boundaries for safety and comfort becomes important. If they are sensitive to bright fluorescent lights, chemical odors or certain kinds of people, HSPs need to use their creativity to find ways to avoid such stimuli.
HSPs often try to hide themselves. They rarely appreciate that many other people also have these same traits. Sharing quiet meals and talking about spiritual matters can become intimacy heaven. Accepting that they really do enjoy long walks in nature, rather than tennis matches, alleviates stress.
Relationships
Their tendency towards withdrawal presents unique difficulties in relationships. HSPs turn inwards for protection against what they are experiencing. Relationships of mutual respect provide a safe, consistent haven of acceptance. HSPs must be wary of being people-pleasers. A lack of self-esteem can turn into a habit of satisfying the needs of the other person. They can end up feeling overwhelmed and alone in a relationship they cannot let go of.
A sensitive person's ability to pick up subtle cues and ambivalence in the unconscious processes of the other can affect communication in relationships. Even though they can tune into what is going on, they either can't say it, or they blurt out a negative judgment. At these times, they are acting out their own past experiences of being humiliated for their sensitivities. The way out of this dilemma is to become more conscious of their habitual reactions and to take more time out to be alone. They need partners to accept this strategy. They may require an entire night's sleep to be clear enough to express how they feel about an issue.
Intimacy
HSPs appreciate intimacy. They actually prefer talking about their feelings and spirituality but often believe no one else is interested. An open and sharing relationship - preferably with another HSP - can be of great benefit in providing awareness of what does and doesn't work. This applies to both the spiritual-social areas and the physical body.
Entertainment and excitement is not what holds a sensitive relationship together. HSPs are more interested in deepening their self-awareness and never become bored of listening to their partner's dreams. A sensitive partner will notice subtle changes in the other's mood or behavior.
Food and Diet
HSPs are very sensitive to food and physical environments. Food needs to be looked at from a different viewpoint than what is promoted by national food guides. Not all foods are going to be equally tolerated by their body. Stimulating substances such as alcohol, coffee, sugar and junk food can be highly toxic to an HSP. Diets need to be tailor-made and regularly modified. There are no right diets that sensitive people can follow permanently. Their level of sensitivity is anything but static and rigid. It requires a change in attitude to accept the fascinating refinement process continually being experienced by their body/mind/spirit. Generally, simple, frequent meals work best.
Spirituality
Once HSPs stop trying to become strong and tough extroverts, they often develop a keen interest in and gratitude for their consciousness, which benevolently takes them into unexplored realms. These complex inner realms, largely avoided by others, become their individuated paths to wholeness and happiness.
Attributes and Characteristics of Being Highly Sensitive
Emotionally, Highly Sensitive People (HSP) are seen as shy, introverted and socially inhibited. They are often acutely aware of other's emotions. Sensitive people learn early in life to mask their wonderful attributes of sensitivity, intuition and creativity.
Physically, HSPs may have low tolerance to noise, glaring lights, strong odors, clutter and/or chaos. They tend to have more body awareness of themselves and know instinctually when the environment they are in is not working for them.
Socially, they may feel like misfits. They actually enjoy their own company and are totally comfortable being alone.
Psychologically, HSPs compensate for their sensitivity by either protecting themselves by being alone too much, or, by trying to be 'normal' or sociable which then over-stimulates them into stress.
Work and career is particularly challenging for HSPs. They are often overlooked for promotions even though they are usually the most conscientious employees. They are excellent project oriented employees because they are responsible and thorough in their work.
Relationships can be difficult. In relationships they may be confronted with their unresolved personal issues. They can however, offer their partner the gifts of their intuitive insights.
Culturally, HSPs do not fit the tough, stoic and outgoing ideals of modern society and what is portrayed in the entertainment media.
Childhood wounds have a more devastating effect on HSPs. It is important for them to heal their past hurts because they cannot just forget them and go on in denial.
Spiritually, sensitive people have a greater capacity for inner searching. This is one of their greatest blessings.
Nutritionally, HSPs may need more simplicity in their diet. They may be vitally aware of the effects of food on the health of their body and their emotional stability.
Conscientious - characterized by extreme care and great effort; "conscientious application to the work at hand"; "painstaking research"; "scrupulous attention to details"
meticulous - marked by precise accordance with details; "was worryingly meticulous about trivial details"; "punctilious in his attention to rules of etiquette
PART II more info ::
Are You Highly Sensitive?
by Amy Scholten, MPH
According to psychologist Elaine Aron, PhD, approximately 15-20% of the American population could be categorized as highly sensitivethat is, they are affected by and react stronger than most people to various stimuli.But is sensitivity a gift or a curse?
Paula's Story
Paula is a competent and conscientious community outreach worker who recently quit her job with a social services organization. Though she valued the work and enjoyed helping people, after only one year she found herself emotionally and physically exhausted. "It was too much," she sighed. "Too much interaction with people, too many meetings and social events, too much pressure to be outgoing."
One might conclude that Paula is simply an introverted individual, but her situation is a bit more complicated. Actually, she was exhausted by a number of things in her environmentthings that didn't seem to bother any of her co-workers. Paula experienced her working environment as cluttered, chaotic, and too noisy. The fluorescent lights made her uncomfortable, the gray walls dampened her spirits, and she frequently felt affected by her co-worker's moods, as if they were contagious.
What Does It Mean to Be Highly Sensitive?
Paula is a person with unusual sensitivity. According to Dr. Aron, author of the best-selling book The Highly Sensitive Person, individuals who are highly sensitive have nervous systems that are more easily aroused. They are more acutely attuned to themselves, others, and their environments, and consequently they are more easily overwhelmed.
Highly sensitive people tend to share many of the following traits:
* Well-developed intuition
* A very high level of empathy
* Conscientiousness
* Creativity
* Love of solitude and introspection
* Strong attunement to emotions (their own and others')
* A tendency to be shy or inhibited in social situations
* Strong appreciation of beauty
* Low tolerance of strong lights and odors, noise, disorganization, and clutter
* Heightened physical and/or emotional reactivity to certain foods and stimulants
* Heightened sensitivity to change, and sometimes a tendency toward insomnia, anxiety and depression
* The ability to concentrate deeply
* Awareness of subtleties
* Strong foresight
* Difficulty thinking, speaking, or performing while being observed
Sensitivity: Strength or Weakness?
Due to their ability to pick up on subtleties that others often fail to notice, highly sensitive people often bring a great deal of foresight and humanity to their work and relationships. They are typically conscientious, creative and thorough, sometimes feeling that they "care too much."
But there is a downside to being highly sensitive. According to Dr. Aron, we live in what can be described as an "aggressive warrior culture"one that values toughness, extroversion, and the repression of softer emotions. This has been the general trend from the boardroom to the entertainment media, and those who do not fit this cultural ideal may feel like second-class citizens. Ask highly sensitive people what bothers them the most and many will tell you: feeling misunderstood, flawed, under-valued or even weak.
Highly sensitive people often pick up on so much in their environment that they can become over-stimulated and need more "down time" than others. While those around them are enjoying large crowds, loud music, and violent movies, the highly sensitive person wants to run for cover, something that their less sensitive counterparts often don't understand.
Sensitive Men
Sensitive men have an especially rough time in our society. "It is fascinating how extensively gender is confused with sensitivity," says Dr. Aron. Men are socialized to be stoic, to not express softer emotions or cry. They may feel constant pressure from childhood on, and grow up believing that there is something deeply wrong with them when they are sensitive. These deeply ingrained cultural expectations are difficult to break, but parents can make all the difference. "When parents appreciate their sensitive boy, as an adult he will have great self-confidence," says Dr. Aron.
Advice for the Highly Sensitive
Accept yourself
The first step toward dealing with sensitivitywhether it's your own or someone else'sis to acknowledge that, despite cultural preferences, it is ultimately a gift. People need tenderness, caring and sensitivity, even if they don't understand it. There's nothing wrong with you if you're sensitive, and many people will appreciate and benefit from your soothing qualities and awareness.
Find a healthy balance
It's crucial for the highly sensitive to find balance. Society pushes us to conform, but sensitive people sometimes get sick and exhausted trying to be "normal." They may mistakenly push themselves into excessive stimulation, too much socialization, or occupations that don't fit. On the other hand, there are those who use their sensitivity as a crutchthey protect themselves at all costs, spend most of their time alone, and don't try anything new.
The key is balance. Find an occupation that utilizes your strengths, and an environment that isn't overly stimulating. Make an effort to learn new skills, find hobbies, and build friendships with people who share your interests. Don't be afraid to take on some challenges and feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, know your limits. If your lifestyle or work is overwhelming you physically or emotionally day after day, make some changes to reduce the stress or over-stimulation.
Take care of your health
Some highly sensitive people believe that they are more sensitive than most people to certain foods and substances such as caffeine, sugar and alcohol. Many claim that a simple diet of whole, unprocessed foods seems to work better for themboth physically and emotionally. Regular exercise can also help people to cope with the stress and anxiety that comes from sensitivity. Getting plenty of rest and sleep is important too, especially for those with nervous systems that are in high gear.
Manage your environment
Try to control the level of stimulation in your environment. Soft lighting, flowers, aesthetically appealing decor, and relaxing music can help. Keep your surroundings as neat, organized, and clutter-free as possible. Close doors and windows to block out noise, if you can.
Hear what Dr. Aron has to say about highly sensitive people in relationships.
A Word for the Less Sensitive
Sensitivity is both a gift and a challenge, but it's a trait that needs to be supported and nurtured. People who want to re-claim and affirm their sensitivity are beginning to organize support groupssomething that's bound to generate snickers from some of the less sensitive among us.
"Some people will look upon us as another group looking for sympathy and special treatment," says Paula. "But we need to reinforce the message that people have different temperaments and to understand and honor that. Sensitivity is a good thing, not a weakness. And in a society where it isn't valued, it shows a great deal of strength to acknowledge, much less affirm, one's own sensitivity."
RESOURCES:
The Highly Sensitive Person
http://www.hsperson.com
Last reviewed September 2005 by Steven Bratman, MD
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
BEING SENSITIVE - IN AN INSENSITIVE WORLD
All your life you thought something was wrong with you. You were uncomfortable around noise. No one understood your need to be alone. You seem to know things without being told. The good news is that you are not dysfunctional. You are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). You are not the only one; you share this trait with a small minority of the population who are referred to as shy or timid.
Overwhelming Stimuli
HSPs respond strongly to external stimuli, and become exhausted from taking in and processing these stimuli. They are born with a nervous system that may see, hear, smell or feel more than others. As adults, they may also think, reflect or notice more than others. The processing is largely unconscious or body-conscious. HSPs grow up feeling flawed, especially when loud music, crowds of people, or simply a busy day stresses them. At such times, they need quiet time alone to recover.
Childhood
Problems can begin in childhood if their sensitivities are not recognized. They can experience deep trauma, even in the womb if they were not wanted. Highly sensitive babies are more peaceful when alone. Certain people terrify them; toy mobiles upset them, rocking irritates them, and changes in weather make them restless. They may be colicky, and their digestive systems may not tolerate food that is too hot or too cold. If the needs of the baby are ignored the child becomes insecure.
Sensitive babies are also very creative and aware. They may walk early or smile a lot. As infants and toddlers they may experience sensory overload from the newness of things. When old enough, they spend time alone to regain their balance and energy.
What Works and What Doesn't
This hyper-awareness to their environment makes HSPs cautious. Any kind of change can be difficult. They are not known for their rash actions. They foresee the consequences of words and actions. HSPs can feel happy in their hearts on a joyous occasion but are unable to express it. They are seen as inhibited or unsociable. They do not like social situations and prefer having deep intimate conversations with someone one on one.
Rather than forcing themselves to fit in and be more outgoing, HSPs need to learn to appreciate their sensitivity in less stimulating ways. Developing boundaries for safety and comfort becomes important. If they are sensitive to bright fluorescent lights, chemical odors or certain kinds of people, HSPs need to use their creativity to find ways to avoid such stimuli.
HSPs often try to hide themselves. They rarely appreciate that many other people also have these same traits. Sharing quiet meals and talking about spiritual matters can become intimacy heaven. Accepting that they really do enjoy long walks in nature, rather than tennis matches, alleviates stress.
Relationships
Their tendency towards withdrawal presents unique difficulties in relationships. HSPs turn inwards for protection against what they are experiencing. Relationships of mutual respect provide a safe, consistent haven of acceptance. HSPs must be wary of being people-pleasers. A lack of self-esteem can turn into a habit of satisfying the needs of the other person. They can end up feeling overwhelmed and alone in a relationship they cannot let go of.
A sensitive person's ability to pick up subtle cues and ambivalence in the unconscious processes of the other can affect communication in relationships. Even though they can tune into what is going on, they either can't say it, or they blurt out a negative judgment. At these times, they are acting out their own past experiences of being humiliated for their sensitivities. The way out of this dilemma is to become more conscious of their habitual reactions and to take more time out to be alone. They need partners to accept this strategy. They may require an entire night's sleep to be clear enough to express how they feel about an issue.
Intimacy
HSPs appreciate intimacy. They actually prefer talking about their feelings and spirituality but often believe no one else is interested. An open and sharing relationship - preferably with another HSP - can be of great benefit in providing awareness of what does and doesn't work. This applies to both the spiritual-social areas and the physical body.
Entertainment and excitement is not what holds a sensitive relationship together. HSPs are more interested in deepening their self-awareness and never become bored of listening to their partner's dreams. A sensitive partner will notice subtle changes in the other's mood or behavior.
Food and Diet
HSPs are very sensitive to food and physical environments. Food needs to be looked at from a different viewpoint than what is promoted by national food guides. Not all foods are going to be equally tolerated by their body. Stimulating substances such as alcohol, coffee, sugar and junk food can be highly toxic to an HSP. Diets need to be tailor-made and regularly modified. There are no right diets that sensitive people can follow permanently. Their level of sensitivity is anything but static and rigid. It requires a change in attitude to accept the fascinating refinement process continually being experienced by their body/mind/spirit. Generally, simple, frequent meals work best.
Spirituality
Once HSPs stop trying to become strong and tough extroverts, they often develop a keen interest in and gratitude for their consciousness, which benevolently takes them into unexplored realms. These complex inner realms, largely avoided by others, become their individuated paths to wholeness and happiness.
Attributes and Characteristics of Being Highly Sensitive
Emotionally, Highly Sensitive People (HSP) are seen as shy, introverted and socially inhibited. They are often acutely aware of other's emotions. Sensitive people learn early in life to mask their wonderful attributes of sensitivity, intuition and creativity.
Physically, HSPs may have low tolerance to noise, glaring lights, strong odors, clutter and/or chaos. They tend to have more body awareness of themselves and know instinctually when the environment they are in is not working for them.
Socially, they may feel like misfits. They actually enjoy their own company and are totally comfortable being alone.
Psychologically, HSPs compensate for their sensitivity by either protecting themselves by being alone too much, or, by trying to be 'normal' or sociable which then over-stimulates them into stress.
Work and career is particularly challenging for HSPs. They are often overlooked for promotions even though they are usually the most conscientious employees. They are excellent project oriented employees because they are responsible and thorough in their work.
Relationships can be difficult. In relationships they may be confronted with their unresolved personal issues. They can however, offer their partner the gifts of their intuitive insights.
Culturally, HSPs do not fit the tough, stoic and outgoing ideals of modern society and what is portrayed in the entertainment media.
Childhood wounds have a more devastating effect on HSPs. It is important for them to heal their past hurts because they cannot just forget them and go on in denial.
Spiritually, sensitive people have a greater capacity for inner searching. This is one of their greatest blessings.
Nutritionally, HSPs may need more simplicity in their diet. They may be vitally aware of the effects of food on the health of their body and their emotional stability.
Conscientious - characterized by extreme care and great effort; "conscientious application to the work at hand"; "painstaking research"; "scrupulous attention to details"
meticulous - marked by precise accordance with details; "was worryingly meticulous about trivial details"; "punctilious in his attention to rules of etiquette
PART II more info ::
Are You Highly Sensitive?
by Amy Scholten, MPH
According to psychologist Elaine Aron, PhD, approximately 15-20% of the American population could be categorized as highly sensitivethat is, they are affected by and react stronger than most people to various stimuli.But is sensitivity a gift or a curse?
Paula's Story
Paula is a competent and conscientious community outreach worker who recently quit her job with a social services organization. Though she valued the work and enjoyed helping people, after only one year she found herself emotionally and physically exhausted. "It was too much," she sighed. "Too much interaction with people, too many meetings and social events, too much pressure to be outgoing."
One might conclude that Paula is simply an introverted individual, but her situation is a bit more complicated. Actually, she was exhausted by a number of things in her environmentthings that didn't seem to bother any of her co-workers. Paula experienced her working environment as cluttered, chaotic, and too noisy. The fluorescent lights made her uncomfortable, the gray walls dampened her spirits, and she frequently felt affected by her co-worker's moods, as if they were contagious.
What Does It Mean to Be Highly Sensitive?
Paula is a person with unusual sensitivity. According to Dr. Aron, author of the best-selling book The Highly Sensitive Person, individuals who are highly sensitive have nervous systems that are more easily aroused. They are more acutely attuned to themselves, others, and their environments, and consequently they are more easily overwhelmed.
Highly sensitive people tend to share many of the following traits:
* Well-developed intuition
* A very high level of empathy
* Conscientiousness
* Creativity
* Love of solitude and introspection
* Strong attunement to emotions (their own and others')
* A tendency to be shy or inhibited in social situations
* Strong appreciation of beauty
* Low tolerance of strong lights and odors, noise, disorganization, and clutter
* Heightened physical and/or emotional reactivity to certain foods and stimulants
* Heightened sensitivity to change, and sometimes a tendency toward insomnia, anxiety and depression
* The ability to concentrate deeply
* Awareness of subtleties
* Strong foresight
* Difficulty thinking, speaking, or performing while being observed
Sensitivity: Strength or Weakness?
Due to their ability to pick up on subtleties that others often fail to notice, highly sensitive people often bring a great deal of foresight and humanity to their work and relationships. They are typically conscientious, creative and thorough, sometimes feeling that they "care too much."
But there is a downside to being highly sensitive. According to Dr. Aron, we live in what can be described as an "aggressive warrior culture"one that values toughness, extroversion, and the repression of softer emotions. This has been the general trend from the boardroom to the entertainment media, and those who do not fit this cultural ideal may feel like second-class citizens. Ask highly sensitive people what bothers them the most and many will tell you: feeling misunderstood, flawed, under-valued or even weak.
Highly sensitive people often pick up on so much in their environment that they can become over-stimulated and need more "down time" than others. While those around them are enjoying large crowds, loud music, and violent movies, the highly sensitive person wants to run for cover, something that their less sensitive counterparts often don't understand.
Sensitive Men
Sensitive men have an especially rough time in our society. "It is fascinating how extensively gender is confused with sensitivity," says Dr. Aron. Men are socialized to be stoic, to not express softer emotions or cry. They may feel constant pressure from childhood on, and grow up believing that there is something deeply wrong with them when they are sensitive. These deeply ingrained cultural expectations are difficult to break, but parents can make all the difference. "When parents appreciate their sensitive boy, as an adult he will have great self-confidence," says Dr. Aron.
Advice for the Highly Sensitive
Accept yourself
The first step toward dealing with sensitivitywhether it's your own or someone else'sis to acknowledge that, despite cultural preferences, it is ultimately a gift. People need tenderness, caring and sensitivity, even if they don't understand it. There's nothing wrong with you if you're sensitive, and many people will appreciate and benefit from your soothing qualities and awareness.
Find a healthy balance
It's crucial for the highly sensitive to find balance. Society pushes us to conform, but sensitive people sometimes get sick and exhausted trying to be "normal." They may mistakenly push themselves into excessive stimulation, too much socialization, or occupations that don't fit. On the other hand, there are those who use their sensitivity as a crutchthey protect themselves at all costs, spend most of their time alone, and don't try anything new.
The key is balance. Find an occupation that utilizes your strengths, and an environment that isn't overly stimulating. Make an effort to learn new skills, find hobbies, and build friendships with people who share your interests. Don't be afraid to take on some challenges and feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, know your limits. If your lifestyle or work is overwhelming you physically or emotionally day after day, make some changes to reduce the stress or over-stimulation.
Take care of your health
Some highly sensitive people believe that they are more sensitive than most people to certain foods and substances such as caffeine, sugar and alcohol. Many claim that a simple diet of whole, unprocessed foods seems to work better for themboth physically and emotionally. Regular exercise can also help people to cope with the stress and anxiety that comes from sensitivity. Getting plenty of rest and sleep is important too, especially for those with nervous systems that are in high gear.
Manage your environment
Try to control the level of stimulation in your environment. Soft lighting, flowers, aesthetically appealing decor, and relaxing music can help. Keep your surroundings as neat, organized, and clutter-free as possible. Close doors and windows to block out noise, if you can.
Hear what Dr. Aron has to say about highly sensitive people in relationships.
A Word for the Less Sensitive
Sensitivity is both a gift and a challenge, but it's a trait that needs to be supported and nurtured. People who want to re-claim and affirm their sensitivity are beginning to organize support groupssomething that's bound to generate snickers from some of the less sensitive among us.
"Some people will look upon us as another group looking for sympathy and special treatment," says Paula. "But we need to reinforce the message that people have different temperaments and to understand and honor that. Sensitivity is a good thing, not a weakness. And in a society where it isn't valued, it shows a great deal of strength to acknowledge, much less affirm, one's own sensitivity."
RESOURCES:
The Highly Sensitive Person
http://www.hsperson.com
Last reviewed September 2005 by Steven Bratman, MD
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.