i'm going to start over

[crimsontruth]

i came home early today to talk to my mom
and we talked a long time
and i realized that i was doing everything wrong

so i'm changing myself.
not for him.
for me.

because i know he probably won't come back.
but me hoping he does is what's going to get me through.



i'm not going to:

insist on paying for myself when i'm on a date
hold grudges
be sullen
lie
one-up people
act superior
embarass people on purpose
let the little things ruin it
demand answers
hit people
punch people
be violent
hurt myself
try to remember all the good things to make me sad
focus on the bad
start fights just to start fights



i am going to:

be kind
not hold grudges
be humble
be open
be positive
be flirtatous
let things happen
let the answers come to me
overlook the little things
concentrate on the big picture
be honest all the time no matter what
not try to impress people with the things i've done
be peaceful
remember all the good things we had, and remember them happily
remember what it felt like to be happy
love
renew my love for writing
get better.

this is my new beginning. i will get better.

let it be