I Hate it here
I hate it in Michigan. I'm living in a freezing cold, unsanitary, messy house with a guy who hates me and constantly tells me that I'm "fucking ugly" and a "bitch" and a "cunt." He refuses to give me the tiniest bit of affection unless he wants sex. I feel like shit all of the time. I thought things were going to be different. I thought we would get an apartment together and be happy. But he just wants me to live in the apartment to pay half the rent and to do laundry while he brings home new girls to fuck and I have no one. I don't even want to go to U of M. I certainly don't want that life- it's worse than it is now. I really love him. I thought this would last so much longer. But since his affair, our relationship has never been the same. And now, he's even worse off because he's rejecting the help he so desparately needs. I can't take much more of his constant irritability and self-centeredness. He really doesn't see how bad it is around him because of him. He excuses everything away and blames it on someone else. He calls me ugly, but I'm not the one that spent my summer fucking someone else and getting fat. (I lost weight.) I'm not the one who is selfish and mean. If he could only understand how hard it is to live with him. It's like having an exhausting job twenty four hours a day. We all feel like we have to walk on egg shells. I just want to get out of the midwest.