Kiba - Chapter 4
Title: Kiba
Author: phoenix_zeal
Pairings: Akame, JinDa
Rating: R
Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: If I owned them I'd be too busy to write...
Beta: death_note13 ♥
Summary: Jin had always been different from the other people in the small town but he had no idea why. Struggling with feeling unloved and strange, he only had his childhood friend Kazuya. One night a creature enters his life and changes it forever, revealing things that he'd never imagined could be real.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
How he’d gotten home was a blur and before he knew it he sat on his bed, his entire body trembling. He was filled with revulsion for himself, his mother, the father he never knew and for both humanity and the emotionless Kiba. What was the point of telling him this now? It seemed like Tatsuya was only playing with him, to see how far he could push Jin.
Jin had known that the disgusted looks he got from others went beyond the fact that he was a bastard child that had grown up to be a butcher. He knew that he hadn’t been normal when he enjoyed the feeling of the meat axe disappearing into the flesh of a pig or how the smell of blood excited him. He’d pushed those feelings away, hidden them deep inside of him because they scared him.
The feeling of hatred against humans, he’d pushed them away as well. Without knowing it he had focused on one safe point in his life, someone who would never treat him like he was worth less than others. Someone he could focus on whenever the urge to sink his teeth into an animal and drink deep became too strong.
On trembling legs, Jin stood up and walked to the mirror on the wall, staring at his own reflection which looked back at him with desolation. He looked human, his eyes were brown, his skin was dark from sunlight and his teeth weren’t sharp except for two which kind of made him look like a vampire. His mother had looked at him with something resembling terror in her eyes when he’d mentioned it to her once but he’d thought that she was only acting.
How had she been able to love a creature similar to Tatsuya? Jin had been enchanted by Tatsuya who was very alluring and beautiful in a frightening way but to love something so... soulless? He couldn’t understand, he didn’t want to understand. The pure image of his lovely mother would now be tainted forever.
A sob wrecked Jin’s body and he let out an almost inhuman whine which sent chills down his spine and he screamed at his reflection, punching the mirror. Shards of glass fell to the floor and glittered in the dim light from the bedside lamp which Jin wasn’t aware of having switched on.
He looked down at his bleeding hand and stumbled backwards, practically falling down on his bed. Licking his lips, he brought his hand closer to his mouth while his eyes closed. He could smell it, even his own blood stirred up the desire within him. Then with a sound of disgust he curled up on the bed, clutching the sheets with his hand that was now throbbing with a dull pain. The night no longer felt comforting, no longer beautiful as tears slid down his cheeks and wetted his pillow.
***
Kazuya slid the key into the lock but noticed to his surprise that the door was unlocked. He didn’t know why he was so surprised when it was Jin’s house but it was still careless even for the older man to leave his door unlocked while he was sleeping, if he was sleeping.
“Jin?” Kazuya called out as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
The house was dark and silent, the curtains not letting much of the morning light inside. He walked to Jin’s bedroom with careful steps, gasping when he almost stepped on one of the shards that lay scattered by the bedroom door. His gaze then landed on Jin’s form on the bed.
“Jin, I just came to see if you were awake because work begins soon”, he said, avoiding stepping on the shards as he made his way to Jin’s bed. “Jin? Are you sleeping?”
His eyes widened when he saw the dried blood on Jin’s hand and on the sheets. What had happened? Obviously something had happened to the mirror but had it been an accident or on purpose? Kazuya reached out to carefully push some hair away from Jin’s face but was startled when the other suddenly sat up, staring at him with wild, frightened eyes.
“Jin, it’s okay”, Kazuya smiled hesitantly and reached out for the older man again. “It’s only me.”
“Kazuya”, Jin sighed and relaxed, visibly relieved.
“Just... wait here and I’ll get something to clean your hand with”, Kazuya waited for Jin to nod before he went to the bathroom and found a first aid kit in the bathroom, returning to the bedroom with it.
Carefully he sat down next to the older man, placing the first aid kit beside them and opening it. He carefully took Jin’s hand in his, the other flinching but then relaxed again, letting Kazuya treat the small wounds. Kazuya was thankful that it looked worse than it was because of the blood.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Kazuya asked gently as he wrapped a bandage around Jin’s hand.
“I don’t know”, was the only answer Jin had to give and Kazuya bit his lip.
“I think that we can afford to open later than usual today. Wait while I clean up and then we’re going to talk, okay?”
Kazuya didn’t wait for Jin’s answer this time and busied himself with cleaning up the shards while he felt the other’s gaze on him. He’d thought that Jin had acted strange the previous day but he certainly hadn’t expected that the older man would ever do something like this. They’d both been through rough times but none of them had ever done something to hurt themselves before. It hadn’t been an accident, Kazuya was sure of it. Otherwise Jin would have just said so.
They’d talked about almost everything when they were younger before their fight but now Kazuya felt like he didn’t even know Jin anymore. How could one not know the man they spent every day with? He didn’t like to admit it but the older man scared him a lot of times, even outside of work when Jin wasn’t slaughtering animals with obvious delight.
“Jin, is something the matter?” Kazuya asked as he sat down on the bed again, finally done with cleaning up. “You can tell me anything.”
Jin looked up from his bandaged hand and looked into Kazuya’s eyes. Could he really tell Kazuya anything? Once the answer would have been yes but now everything was different. Now he was a monster. How much did Kazuya know about it? Kazuya’s father had to know everything and perhaps he’d told his son about it. Jin didn’t like to believe that Kazuya had kept something like that from him but he couldn’t be sure.
“Have you ever heard of Kiba?” he asked and looked at Kazuya intently to see the other’s reaction.
Kazuya frowned, “No, I don’t think so”, he thought a bit. “Or maybe I did once... My father was angry at me for trying to sneak out during the night to your home and he yelled about something that I didn’t understand, maybe it was Kiba but I can’t remember that well. Is that the reason to why we can’t go out during the night?” his eyes widened as he thought about something. “Did you meet one?”
From Kazuya’s reaction, Jin figured that the other didn’t know anything about him. He wasn’t sure if he was sad or relieved about it. Things might have been easier if Kazuya had known, then he’d have someone who was alive to be angry at. Sometime during the night he’d stopped being angry at Tatsuya because the creature had only told him the truth, something that his mother had failed to do.
“No, I didn’t meet one”, Jin lied but Kazuya didn’t seem to notice. “It was just something I heard about while going home yesterday and I was curious, that’s all.”
“Then what’s wrong?” Kazuya asked, frowning.
“Nothing is wrong... I just miss my mother”, it wasn’t entirely untrue; he did miss his mother because he wanted to ask her so many questions about her actions.
Kazuya still looked a bit suspicious so Jin did the only thing he could think of which was embracing the other. He could feel Kazuya stiffen in surprise but then the younger man relaxed and hugged back. The embrace was awkward since they sat on a bed and it was the first time they’d hugged since Jin was twelve.
“Jin”, Kazuya whispered, his heart beating fast for a reason unknown to him.
Jin breathed in deeply and Kazuya’s scent calmed his senses. It was that familiar smell of safety that he always focused on when they were at work or in other unsettling situations. Now when he was so close to the younger man he could smell something else as well however and he could hear Kazuya’s fast pulse. His lips were so close to Kazuya’s neck and it would be easy to just give into the desire.
He pulled the other even closer as the scent of warm blood overwhelmed him which caused Kazuya to be straddled over his lap. When he knew where the craving for blood came from and that was in his nature rather than something unnatural it became even more difficult to resist. His lips were mere millimetres from Kazuya’s pulse and he could practically hear the blood streaming in the veins as the younger man’s heartbeat quickened even more.
“Jin, what are you doing?” Kazuya asked, his voice shaky as forbidden emotions overtook him.
Jin’s teeth had just grazed against Kazuya’s throat when the man asked the question and he pulled back slightly, staring at Kazuya with fear in his eyes. He felt even more disgusted with himself when he realised what he’d been about to do to his best friend. His best friend who was now looking at him with an expression that spoke of more than friendship between them.
“I’m sorry”, Jin said, pushing Kazuya away. “We should go to work.”
Kazuya’s expression was filled with hurt and he stood up, fighting back tears from his eyes. Of course he knew that it was impossible that Jin would ever think about him in that way. The older man had only wanted to be close to someone, anyone, and Kazuya had just happened to be there. He was the only one who was ever there.
“You should stay at home if you’re not feeling well”, Kazuya said when he’d gotten control over his emotions again. “I can take care of the store myself.”
“Are you sure?” Jin asked not looking at Kazuya, too ashamed of how close he’d come to hurting the younger man and therefore he didn’t see that he’d still hurt the other.
“Yes, you should rest”, Kazuya smiled a fake smile even if it wasn’t necessary since Jin wouldn’t look at him. “You can come to work after lunch if you feel better then but don’t force yourself. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Jin barely registered Kazuya’s words or the fact that the younger man left. He was trembling again, fighting against the nausea that came along with extreme hunger. Never in his life had he tasted blood other than that in blood pudding but pure blood was what he craved more than anything else. For so long he had been able to deny the more animalistic urges which were a part of his nature but it no longer seemed possible to do so.
Before he knew what he was doing his legs had brought him to the fridge and his hand rested on the handle. In his mind he could see Tatsuya as the creature had looked while drinking the blood from one of the bags. Licking his lips, Jin opened the fridge door and reached for a bag, grabbing it before he could stop himself.
The blood poured down his throat and he closed his eyes in ecstasy as the scent and taste of the red liquid overpowered everything else. When the content of the bag was emptied he threw it away with a cry and rushed to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet as all of it escaped him again. What had he become? The human part of him couldn’t be combined with the part that was Kiba. He was a freak, a monster, something that shouldn’t exist.
Jin knew what it meant to live like he was fully human. He knew the disgust he was greeted with everywhere and he knew the sense of not belonging. What he didn’t know was what it would feel like to live among the Kiba as a part of his father’s clan. Tatsuya hadn’t looked upon him with disgust, only with understanding and the creature had encouraged him to find his hidden strengths.
Perhaps it was time for Jin to leave town as the townspeople probably wanted him to and live in harmony with nature. A lingering scent filled his nose and he closed his eyes as tears escaped them; could he really leave Kazuya?
***
Jin took a shower to freshen up before he walked to work, walking in through the front door just as a woman was about to leave. She backed away from him with fear and loathing in her eyes and while he would usually lower his gaze he now looked her straight in the eyes and smirked at her. A small whimper left her lips as she practically ran out of the store.
“Jin”, Kazuya stared at the older man with a mix of surprise and worry. “Do you feel better now?” he asked uncertainly.
“I just came to tell you that I will be leaving town for awhile”, Jin said, his voice cold and unemotional.
“Why?” Kazuya’s voice trembled.
Kazuya’s sadness stabbed Jin’s heart like a knife but his expression betrayed nothing. He knew what he had to do, he’d never find peace if he didn’t.
“There’s something that I have to do”, he said. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“Fine”, Kazuya sighed and bit his lip, looking so much like a lost little boy that Jin couldn’t help himself and embraced the younger man for the second time that day.
“I’m sorry, I wish that things were different but they’re not”, Jin whispered sincerely. “I wish that I could be a better friend to you but this is something that I really have to do.”
“I understand... just come back to me, Jin.”
Jin pulled back a bit to look down at Kazuya who was now crying freely. He wiped away the younger man’s tears with his thumb before he bent down and kissed Kazuya softly on the lips. Then he backed away with a sad smile as the younger man looked at him with a stunned expression.
Turning around and walking out of the store, Jin sighed deeply and forced himself not to look back. With determined steps he walked out of town, over the field and into the forest. He let his instincts guide him and he didn’t know how many hours had passed but finally he found something that looked like it could be the entrance to a burrow. The opening was large enough for a human, or a Kiba, to pass through.
Jin ignored his stomach which growled with hunger and sat down outside the opening, waiting for night to fall.
---
A/N: This might be the last update for awhile because my one week break ends on Monday and I have to go to school again. I don't want to. T_T
My icon is ironic this time and I don't think that any of you are happy after this... XD
Author: phoenix_zeal
Pairings: Akame, JinDa
Rating: R
Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Angst
Disclaimer: If I owned them I'd be too busy to write...
Beta: death_note13 ♥
Summary: Jin had always been different from the other people in the small town but he had no idea why. Struggling with feeling unloved and strange, he only had his childhood friend Kazuya. One night a creature enters his life and changes it forever, revealing things that he'd never imagined could be real.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
How he’d gotten home was a blur and before he knew it he sat on his bed, his entire body trembling. He was filled with revulsion for himself, his mother, the father he never knew and for both humanity and the emotionless Kiba. What was the point of telling him this now? It seemed like Tatsuya was only playing with him, to see how far he could push Jin.
Jin had known that the disgusted looks he got from others went beyond the fact that he was a bastard child that had grown up to be a butcher. He knew that he hadn’t been normal when he enjoyed the feeling of the meat axe disappearing into the flesh of a pig or how the smell of blood excited him. He’d pushed those feelings away, hidden them deep inside of him because they scared him.
The feeling of hatred against humans, he’d pushed them away as well. Without knowing it he had focused on one safe point in his life, someone who would never treat him like he was worth less than others. Someone he could focus on whenever the urge to sink his teeth into an animal and drink deep became too strong.
On trembling legs, Jin stood up and walked to the mirror on the wall, staring at his own reflection which looked back at him with desolation. He looked human, his eyes were brown, his skin was dark from sunlight and his teeth weren’t sharp except for two which kind of made him look like a vampire. His mother had looked at him with something resembling terror in her eyes when he’d mentioned it to her once but he’d thought that she was only acting.
How had she been able to love a creature similar to Tatsuya? Jin had been enchanted by Tatsuya who was very alluring and beautiful in a frightening way but to love something so... soulless? He couldn’t understand, he didn’t want to understand. The pure image of his lovely mother would now be tainted forever.
A sob wrecked Jin’s body and he let out an almost inhuman whine which sent chills down his spine and he screamed at his reflection, punching the mirror. Shards of glass fell to the floor and glittered in the dim light from the bedside lamp which Jin wasn’t aware of having switched on.
He looked down at his bleeding hand and stumbled backwards, practically falling down on his bed. Licking his lips, he brought his hand closer to his mouth while his eyes closed. He could smell it, even his own blood stirred up the desire within him. Then with a sound of disgust he curled up on the bed, clutching the sheets with his hand that was now throbbing with a dull pain. The night no longer felt comforting, no longer beautiful as tears slid down his cheeks and wetted his pillow.
***
Kazuya slid the key into the lock but noticed to his surprise that the door was unlocked. He didn’t know why he was so surprised when it was Jin’s house but it was still careless even for the older man to leave his door unlocked while he was sleeping, if he was sleeping.
“Jin?” Kazuya called out as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
The house was dark and silent, the curtains not letting much of the morning light inside. He walked to Jin’s bedroom with careful steps, gasping when he almost stepped on one of the shards that lay scattered by the bedroom door. His gaze then landed on Jin’s form on the bed.
“Jin, I just came to see if you were awake because work begins soon”, he said, avoiding stepping on the shards as he made his way to Jin’s bed. “Jin? Are you sleeping?”
His eyes widened when he saw the dried blood on Jin’s hand and on the sheets. What had happened? Obviously something had happened to the mirror but had it been an accident or on purpose? Kazuya reached out to carefully push some hair away from Jin’s face but was startled when the other suddenly sat up, staring at him with wild, frightened eyes.
“Jin, it’s okay”, Kazuya smiled hesitantly and reached out for the older man again. “It’s only me.”
“Kazuya”, Jin sighed and relaxed, visibly relieved.
“Just... wait here and I’ll get something to clean your hand with”, Kazuya waited for Jin to nod before he went to the bathroom and found a first aid kit in the bathroom, returning to the bedroom with it.
Carefully he sat down next to the older man, placing the first aid kit beside them and opening it. He carefully took Jin’s hand in his, the other flinching but then relaxed again, letting Kazuya treat the small wounds. Kazuya was thankful that it looked worse than it was because of the blood.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Kazuya asked gently as he wrapped a bandage around Jin’s hand.
“I don’t know”, was the only answer Jin had to give and Kazuya bit his lip.
“I think that we can afford to open later than usual today. Wait while I clean up and then we’re going to talk, okay?”
Kazuya didn’t wait for Jin’s answer this time and busied himself with cleaning up the shards while he felt the other’s gaze on him. He’d thought that Jin had acted strange the previous day but he certainly hadn’t expected that the older man would ever do something like this. They’d both been through rough times but none of them had ever done something to hurt themselves before. It hadn’t been an accident, Kazuya was sure of it. Otherwise Jin would have just said so.
They’d talked about almost everything when they were younger before their fight but now Kazuya felt like he didn’t even know Jin anymore. How could one not know the man they spent every day with? He didn’t like to admit it but the older man scared him a lot of times, even outside of work when Jin wasn’t slaughtering animals with obvious delight.
“Jin, is something the matter?” Kazuya asked as he sat down on the bed again, finally done with cleaning up. “You can tell me anything.”
Jin looked up from his bandaged hand and looked into Kazuya’s eyes. Could he really tell Kazuya anything? Once the answer would have been yes but now everything was different. Now he was a monster. How much did Kazuya know about it? Kazuya’s father had to know everything and perhaps he’d told his son about it. Jin didn’t like to believe that Kazuya had kept something like that from him but he couldn’t be sure.
“Have you ever heard of Kiba?” he asked and looked at Kazuya intently to see the other’s reaction.
Kazuya frowned, “No, I don’t think so”, he thought a bit. “Or maybe I did once... My father was angry at me for trying to sneak out during the night to your home and he yelled about something that I didn’t understand, maybe it was Kiba but I can’t remember that well. Is that the reason to why we can’t go out during the night?” his eyes widened as he thought about something. “Did you meet one?”
From Kazuya’s reaction, Jin figured that the other didn’t know anything about him. He wasn’t sure if he was sad or relieved about it. Things might have been easier if Kazuya had known, then he’d have someone who was alive to be angry at. Sometime during the night he’d stopped being angry at Tatsuya because the creature had only told him the truth, something that his mother had failed to do.
“No, I didn’t meet one”, Jin lied but Kazuya didn’t seem to notice. “It was just something I heard about while going home yesterday and I was curious, that’s all.”
“Then what’s wrong?” Kazuya asked, frowning.
“Nothing is wrong... I just miss my mother”, it wasn’t entirely untrue; he did miss his mother because he wanted to ask her so many questions about her actions.
Kazuya still looked a bit suspicious so Jin did the only thing he could think of which was embracing the other. He could feel Kazuya stiffen in surprise but then the younger man relaxed and hugged back. The embrace was awkward since they sat on a bed and it was the first time they’d hugged since Jin was twelve.
“Jin”, Kazuya whispered, his heart beating fast for a reason unknown to him.
Jin breathed in deeply and Kazuya’s scent calmed his senses. It was that familiar smell of safety that he always focused on when they were at work or in other unsettling situations. Now when he was so close to the younger man he could smell something else as well however and he could hear Kazuya’s fast pulse. His lips were so close to Kazuya’s neck and it would be easy to just give into the desire.
He pulled the other even closer as the scent of warm blood overwhelmed him which caused Kazuya to be straddled over his lap. When he knew where the craving for blood came from and that was in his nature rather than something unnatural it became even more difficult to resist. His lips were mere millimetres from Kazuya’s pulse and he could practically hear the blood streaming in the veins as the younger man’s heartbeat quickened even more.
“Jin, what are you doing?” Kazuya asked, his voice shaky as forbidden emotions overtook him.
Jin’s teeth had just grazed against Kazuya’s throat when the man asked the question and he pulled back slightly, staring at Kazuya with fear in his eyes. He felt even more disgusted with himself when he realised what he’d been about to do to his best friend. His best friend who was now looking at him with an expression that spoke of more than friendship between them.
“I’m sorry”, Jin said, pushing Kazuya away. “We should go to work.”
Kazuya’s expression was filled with hurt and he stood up, fighting back tears from his eyes. Of course he knew that it was impossible that Jin would ever think about him in that way. The older man had only wanted to be close to someone, anyone, and Kazuya had just happened to be there. He was the only one who was ever there.
“You should stay at home if you’re not feeling well”, Kazuya said when he’d gotten control over his emotions again. “I can take care of the store myself.”
“Are you sure?” Jin asked not looking at Kazuya, too ashamed of how close he’d come to hurting the younger man and therefore he didn’t see that he’d still hurt the other.
“Yes, you should rest”, Kazuya smiled a fake smile even if it wasn’t necessary since Jin wouldn’t look at him. “You can come to work after lunch if you feel better then but don’t force yourself. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Jin barely registered Kazuya’s words or the fact that the younger man left. He was trembling again, fighting against the nausea that came along with extreme hunger. Never in his life had he tasted blood other than that in blood pudding but pure blood was what he craved more than anything else. For so long he had been able to deny the more animalistic urges which were a part of his nature but it no longer seemed possible to do so.
Before he knew what he was doing his legs had brought him to the fridge and his hand rested on the handle. In his mind he could see Tatsuya as the creature had looked while drinking the blood from one of the bags. Licking his lips, Jin opened the fridge door and reached for a bag, grabbing it before he could stop himself.
The blood poured down his throat and he closed his eyes in ecstasy as the scent and taste of the red liquid overpowered everything else. When the content of the bag was emptied he threw it away with a cry and rushed to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet as all of it escaped him again. What had he become? The human part of him couldn’t be combined with the part that was Kiba. He was a freak, a monster, something that shouldn’t exist.
Jin knew what it meant to live like he was fully human. He knew the disgust he was greeted with everywhere and he knew the sense of not belonging. What he didn’t know was what it would feel like to live among the Kiba as a part of his father’s clan. Tatsuya hadn’t looked upon him with disgust, only with understanding and the creature had encouraged him to find his hidden strengths.
Perhaps it was time for Jin to leave town as the townspeople probably wanted him to and live in harmony with nature. A lingering scent filled his nose and he closed his eyes as tears escaped them; could he really leave Kazuya?
***
Jin took a shower to freshen up before he walked to work, walking in through the front door just as a woman was about to leave. She backed away from him with fear and loathing in her eyes and while he would usually lower his gaze he now looked her straight in the eyes and smirked at her. A small whimper left her lips as she practically ran out of the store.
“Jin”, Kazuya stared at the older man with a mix of surprise and worry. “Do you feel better now?” he asked uncertainly.
“I just came to tell you that I will be leaving town for awhile”, Jin said, his voice cold and unemotional.
“Why?” Kazuya’s voice trembled.
Kazuya’s sadness stabbed Jin’s heart like a knife but his expression betrayed nothing. He knew what he had to do, he’d never find peace if he didn’t.
“There’s something that I have to do”, he said. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“Fine”, Kazuya sighed and bit his lip, looking so much like a lost little boy that Jin couldn’t help himself and embraced the younger man for the second time that day.
“I’m sorry, I wish that things were different but they’re not”, Jin whispered sincerely. “I wish that I could be a better friend to you but this is something that I really have to do.”
“I understand... just come back to me, Jin.”
Jin pulled back a bit to look down at Kazuya who was now crying freely. He wiped away the younger man’s tears with his thumb before he bent down and kissed Kazuya softly on the lips. Then he backed away with a sad smile as the younger man looked at him with a stunned expression.
Turning around and walking out of the store, Jin sighed deeply and forced himself not to look back. With determined steps he walked out of town, over the field and into the forest. He let his instincts guide him and he didn’t know how many hours had passed but finally he found something that looked like it could be the entrance to a burrow. The opening was large enough for a human, or a Kiba, to pass through.
Jin ignored his stomach which growled with hunger and sat down outside the opening, waiting for night to fall.
---
A/N: This might be the last update for awhile because my one week break ends on Monday and I have to go to school again. I don't want to. T_T
My icon is ironic this time and I don't think that any of you are happy after this... XD