Prologue End - Chapter 1
Title: Prologue End
Author: phoenix_zeal
Pairings: Akame
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: If I owned them I'd be too busy to write...
Beta: death_note13 ♥
Warnings: Mentions of rape and dark themes.
Summary: Jin thought that he would go to hell for his sins; intead he gets a job offer. Although it's not so much an offer as an order. He never thought that the job would lead to something so much more.
Jin didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this. Okay, he knew exactly what he’d done to deserve it but what was the big deal? He could take an eternity of torture but instead they made him atone for his sins in a different way. Jin didn’t want to atone, especially not if it meant that he had to appear like a little girl and braid little Yui’s hair. He’d had fun at some other jobs but this was torture.
Being an imaginary friend was not what Jin had thought that he’d do for a job. Actually, he hadn’t thought that he’d had a job at all considering the fact that he was dead.
Jin sighed and wished that Yui would get out of her imaginary friend phase really soon. If Jin was lucky, he would have some time off before his next job.
What Jin truly didn’t know was that his next job would be very special. He’d taken on various shapes according to what the child he was currently being an imaginary friend for wished him to be.
This hadn’t happened before though; he’d appeared in front of a kid and he was in his true form. Jin stared at himself in the mirror on the baby blue wall and it was really him staring back.
“Who are you?” the boy sitting on the bed didn’t look much to the world with his skinny frame and short bushy hair.
“Uh, I’m your new friend”, Jin said, a bit confused by the situation. “I can be whoever you want me to be.”
The boy frowned and his lower lip jutted out slightly as he pondered. Jin estimated him to be around 10 years old.
“I did wish for a friend”, he said slowly and looked at Jin, his head tilted to one side. “I’m Kamenashi Kazuya... You look like a... Jin.”
Jin’s eyes widened in surprise, first this kid Kazuya wished for him to look exactly like he truly looks like and then he calls him by his true name as well. As far as Jin knew, that was completely impossible.
“Jin?” Kazuya was pouting and Jin realised that he’d been silent for a long time and smiled reassuringly at the boy.
“Sorry”, Jin sat down on the bed next to Kazuya.
“You’re not real, are you?” Kazuya asked and Jin was surprised.
Usually the children would believe their imaginary friend to be real; it was ironic that Kazuya saw the real Jin to believe that he wasn’t.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m not real, does it?” Jin asked gently. “I’m your friend for as long as you need me.”
Kazuya looked at Jin seriously for awhile before his face was graced by a tiny smile.
“I need a friend and you look nice enough”, Kazuya scrunched his nose. “You’re kind of old though.”
“Hey, I’m only 24!” that was the age Jin had been when he died.
He guessed that he did look nice though. People had always been drawn to him and everyone had thought of him as a charming man... until they found out who he really was. Jin had never regretted what he’d done; in fact, he’d taken great pleasure in it. When he looked into Kazuya’s trusting eyes, however, he felt something churn inside of him.
“Why would you need me as a friend?” Jin asked and looked around Kazuya’s room; the walls were adorned by diplomas of various achievements. “You’re a nice, intelligent kid. You should have lots of friends.”
“Being nice and intelligent can be such a pain in the ass”, Kazuya winced. “Can we please not talk about it?”
“Sure, Kazu-chan, whatever you say”, Jin ruffled Kazuya’s already messy hair and laughed at the boy’s glare. “You don’t intimidate me.”
“What does it take to intimidate a man like you?” Kazuya looked straight into Jin’s eyes and Jin felt as if the boy knew everything about his past and he shuddered.
It wasn’t possible, every human who knew about it was just as dead as Jin, or more, and Kazuya was very much alive.
“I-I don’t know”, Jin stammered finally. “I guess I was never intimidated by anything...”
“Pity.”
An uncomfortable silence spread through the room and Jin looked at Kazuya’s thin legs that dangled over the edge of the oversized bed. The boy looked so fragile and vulnerable but Jin sensed that Kazuya probably had more strength than most people.
“How old are you?” Jin asked to break the silence.
“14”, Kazuya replied and Jin’s eyebrows shot up.
He’d guessed 10 years old since Kazuya was so tiny but looks could be deceiving. Jin of all people should know that.
“I know that I’m too old for imaginary friends”, Kazuya half smiled.
“You’re never too old for them. Some adults have them all their lives... just look at authors; they make up characters and stories to play with. I think everyone’s got imaginary friends, they just don’t call them that since they don’t actually talk to them like I talk to you.”
“Wow, you’re very deep for being a figment of my imagination.”
“I try”, Jin grinned. “But hey, doesn’t that just show that you’re very deep or something? Of course I’m not only going to say things that you want me to say... this doesn’t work that way.”
At least not this time, Jin thought. Usually, he was pretty much controlled by the child’s wishes but it seemed that Kazuya didn’t have any specific wishes and that gave Jin free reigns to act like he wanted... with some limits of course.
“I thought that you would just, you know, be kind and play together with me or something”, Kazuya said.
“I’m not good at playing”, Jin scratched the back of his head. “Uh, do you want to play? I’m here to do whatever you want.”
“I have to do homework; I’m already behind on my regular schedule.”
“I would offer to help you but I’m afraid that I’m not very good at homework.”
“You don’t have to stay here”, Kazuya went to his desk and opened his books. “It’ll be boring for you.”
“I can’t deny that but the rules say that I can’t leave until you really want me to leave”, Jin explained. “Apparently you don’t want me to.”
“But you wouldn’t be gone forever, right?” Kazuya stared emptily at the books in front of him.
“No, that won’t happen unless you don’t need me anymore.”
“Then you can leave... I mean it this time.”
Jin knew that it was true since he didn’t feel a barrier stopping him from leaving. He looked at Kazuya’s narrow back that looked so lonely in the faint glow from the lamp standing on the desk. Jin left his seat on the bed and walked to Kazuya, embracing the boy from behind. Kazuya stiffened and dropped the pen he’d been taking notes with.
“I don’t want to leave”, Jin mumbled and wondered about his own behaviour, in the past he would’ve left as soon as possible. “Will you let me stay?”
“Fine”, Kazuya said, sounding nonchalant but Jin could sense that he was happy. “Just stop hugging me and try not to disturb me while I’m studying.”
“Okay, can I play with your computer?” Jin looked at the other desk in the rather large room.
Kazuya nodded and Jin released him from the embrace, walking over to the other desk and opened the laptop. There was a saved session that appeared on the screen and Jin blinked when he saw the site that Kazuya had been on. Why would the boy look at gay porn at such a young age? Especially gay porn that was on the border, or more like over the border, of being abusive.
Jin hesitated whether he should ask Kazuya about it or if he should just close the session and act as if nothing had happened. It was too late to make a decision though as Kazuya reached over him and closed the frame.
“I forgot about that”, he mumbled.
“Want to tell me about it?” Jin asked and turned his head to look at Kazuya who sighed.
“Do I have a choice? You’ll probably nag at me if I don’t tell you.”
“I won’t, I’m just here to listen if you want to talk.”
“Maybe later”, Kazuya looked at Jin with a vulnerable expression. “You won’t judge me, right?”
“Never”, Jin said and put his hand on Kazuya’s shoulder. “I promise.”
Kazuya showed another half smile and went back to studying while Jin checked his e-mail. He might be dead since a long time ago but he kept up to date with technology. The only rule was that he couldn’t socialise with the living but he had lots of dead colleagues.
Time flew by and suddenly Kazuya’s mother knocked on the door, telling him that it was time for bed.
“Okay, mom”, Kazuya called out through the door and walked through another that led to the bathroom and Jin followed him.
“You don’t get a snack before bed?” Jin asked. “That must be why you’re so skinny.”
“I’m not hungry”, Kazuya shrugged and put toothpaste on his toothbrush. “Food doesn’t interest me.”
Jin frowned in concern and watched as Kazuya methodically brushed his teeth. Kazuya was the weirdest kid he’d ever had to work with and strangely enough, the only one who had made him feel some kind of affection and worry. Jin had only spent a few hours with the boy but he felt some kind of unexplainable connection with him.
“Should I leave now?” Jin asked when Kazuya had crawled into bed, wearing pyjamas with a cute Winnie the Pooh pattern.
Kazuya had made Jin turn around while he was changing but Jin had still caught a glimpse of his protruding ribs.
“Maybe it’s best if you do”, Kazuya replied but Jin could feel the barrier in place.
“I can sit here while you sleep”, Jin sat down by the desk and smiled at Kazuya.
The boy nodded and turned off the lights, bathing the room in darkness. Jin could hear Kazuya’s shallow breaths and when they slowly became deeper and more even, signalling that he’d fallen asleep.
Since Jin was dead, he didn’t need to sleep or eat or go to the toilet. He usually did sleep though to avoid boredom but this time he stayed awake all night, listening to Kazuya’s nightmares.
***
The alarm clock signalled the arrival of another dreary day and Kazuya turned it off with a groan. Jin had been his friend for a couple of weeks now but the boy still avoided talking about important things such as why he sometimes had a limp and bruises on his arms. It was quite obvious why really but Jin still wanted to know details.
For the first time in his life, and his time as dead, he wanted to help someone without selfish reasons behind it. It was clear that Kazuya was suffering even if he’d started smiling more when Jin told jokes or did something funny. The boy’s smile was beautiful and Jin was sure that it would be even more beautiful when it reached his eyes.
“Kazu”, Jin said and shook the boy gently. “Come on, you have to wake up.”
“I am awake”, Kazuya muttered.
“Then get your ass out of bed and get dressed or I’ll have to spank you.”
“Go ahead, I’m used to it.”
“What?” Jin stared at the lump underneath the covers that was Kazuya.
“Nothing”, Kazuya threw the covers off and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Forget about it.”
“I’m not going to forget about it”, Jin said stubbornly and Kazuya sighed. “Tell me who’s doing these things to you.”
“You can’t help me anyway so what’s the point in telling you?”
“You’re being sexually abused, Kazuya! You can’t bear this burden on your own... why else would I be here?”
Kazuya walked to his wardrobe without saying a word and selected what clothes to wear. Jin sat down on the bed and looked at him. He didn’t even make sure that Jin turned away while he hastily changed. Jin ran his gaze over Kazuya’s skinny frame and noticed the bruises adorning the arms, back and thighs. If he’d had any doubts of what was happening to Kazuya, they disappeared in that moment.
“I’m not supposed to tell you this but I used to be a real person”, Jin said and Kazuya turned his head to look at him. “Well, I guess I still am. After I died, I was assigned to be an imaginary friend for children who need me. You’re the first person who sees me as I actually am.”
“So you’ve really existed?” Kazuya asked and Jin nodded. “Either I’m more insane than I thought and making up all of this, or I’m more sane than I thought.”
“You’re surprisingly sane”, Jin smiled carefully and Kazuya’s eyes twinkled as he turned away.
“I have to go and eat breakfast before mom comes to get me.”
“She can’t see me so it’s no problem.”
“It just feels weirder that way”, Kazuya mumbled and left the room.
Jin groaned and lied down on the bed; he had no idea of how to behave around Kazuya. The boy was so easily hurt and stubborn which made Jin feel on edge. He couldn’t remember how it felt to be a teenager and he was far from Kazuya’s situation anyway, maybe not as far as you might think but still worlds apart. Jin wished that he didn’t care for Kazuya but he did. He was sent to help Kazuya but perhaps Kazuya would be the one to help him.
Jin must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing he remembered was feeling the bed shift and he opened his eyes to look at Kazuya’s face that was close to his own. Startled, he inched away a bit.
“Don’t you have school now?” Jin asked.
“I’ve already been to school”, Kazuya smiled slightly. “You must have slept the entire time I was gone.”
“Oh”, Jin smiled sheepishly. “How was school today?”
Kazuya shrugged, “The usual... Do you dream?”
“Yeah, I think so; why do you ask?”
“You were moaning in your sleep.”
Jin blushed and sat up, keeping a distance between them.
“Is sex really that pleasurable?” Kazuya asked and Jin choked at the sudden question.
“Well yeah, if you want to have it and your partner makes you feel good”, Jin replied hesitantly.
“Can you feel pleasure even if you’re forced to have it?”
“It’s possible I think”, Jin frowned. “You should tell someone about the rape, it can’t continue like this.”
“I’m telling you now”, Kazuya looked into Jin’s eyes.
“Yes and that’s very good but you should tell someone who can actually do something about it. I wish I could do something but I’m completely powerless, Kazu.”
Kazuya nodded, biting his lip and looking at Jin thoughtfully. The look in the boy’s eyes worried Jin and before he knew it, Kazuya had crawled over to him and straddled him.
“W-what are you doing?” Jin was shocked.
“Could you show me what it’s like?” Kazuya asked and ran his fingers through Jin’s hair. “Show me what its’ like to not be taken by force...”
Kazuya leaned in to kiss Jin but Jin grabbed his arms and stopped him.
“Listen to me, Kazu”, Jin said and breathed deeply. “You are far too young and in a perfect world you would be playing with your friends without any thoughts about sex. I won’t touch you like that; I can’t ruin you even more.”
“Don’t you like me?” Kazuya’s lower lip trembled and his eyes watered. “Don’t you find me attractive?”
“You’re a beautiful young boy”, Jin said and emphasized ‘young’. “I like you a lot, as a friend. But it’s not normal to want someone as young as you in that way if you’re as old as me. It’s sick and twisted and no one should’ve ever done that to you.”
Kazuya broke down in sobs and buried his face in Jin’s sweater, crying his eyes out while Jin held him. Tears ran down Jin’s cheeks when he realised all of the things he’d done while he was alive and suddenly knew that he deserved an eternity of torture. For the first time he actually regretted his actions and the guilt was tearing him apart. How was he supposed to function with all the pain inside?
Jin couldn’t understand how Kazuya survived what he’d experienced. They just held each other and cried their hearts out.
***
None of them mentioned what had happened but Jin was still trying to make Kazuya tell his parents or someone else about the abuse he was going through. Kazuya had finally told Jin that it was a teacher at school that had been sexually abusing him for months. It pissed Jin off to think that something like that could happen at school without anyone noticing.
Dangerous predators could work as teachers and no one would realise and stop them. He wanted to go to Kazuya’s school and kill the teacher but he knew that if he intervened like that, he wouldn’t be allowed to stay with Kazuya. That thought hurt more than he wanted to admit.
“Why did you die so young?” Kazuya asked one evening after finishing his homework.
Jin eyes widened, if he admitted the real reason it was possible that Kazuya would hate him forever.
“I... I don’t want to talk about it”, he said and Kazuya looked at him intently.
“You’ll have to tell me one day, you know.”
Jin sighed, “You won’t give up until I tell you, huh?”
“Nope”, Kazuya grinned and Jin smiled weakly.
“You’ve made me tell you stuff that I didn’t want to talk about so it’s only fair.”
“I guess so.”
Kazuya smiled and left the chair he was sitting on to join Jin on the bed. He hugged Jin who was a bit startled but then relaxed and hugged back.
“Did you ever fall in love when you were alive?” Kazuya asked curiously.
“No, not really”, Jin replied.
“Why not?”
“I wasn’t interested in things like love, it didn’t seem important... Have you fallen in love? You’re a bit young though.”
“I’m not that young”, Kazuya pouted. “I’m in love right now”, he smiled dreamily.
“That’s great”, Jin smiled but felt a pang in his chest which he tried to ignore. “Maybe you won’t need me anymore soon.”
Kazuya looked terrified at the thought and held Jin tighter. Jin felt ashamed of the fact that he was so satisfied that Kazuya still wanted him there.
“I’m so used to having you to talk to”, Kazuya said. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you...”
An awful thought entered Jin’s mind when he looked into Kazuya’s soulful eyes and for the boy’s sake, he hoped that he was wrong.
“Kazu, sooner or later you’re going to have to live without me by your side”, he said. “You can’t have an imaginary friend for the rest of your life.”
“But you’re a real person!”
“That doesn’t matter. Other people can’t see me and we can’t do stuff together outside because people would thing you were insane and talking to yourself. It can’t work out.”
Kazuya sniffled and released Jin from the embrace, getting out of bed.
“I’m going to take a bath”, he mumbled and went to the bathroom.
Jin suppressed an urge to bang his head against the wall and wished that the circumstances were different. If only he’d been born the same year as Kazuya and not almost a hundred years earlier. They could’ve been classmates and it would’ve been, at least a bit more, allowed for them to like each other. Jin wouldn’t have deserved it though if he’d still be the person he was when he was alive, he knew that. It was a hopeless situation but Jin still couldn’t regret meeting Kazuya.
A little while later, Kazuya came out of the bathroom with dripping wet hair and a bathrobe wrapped around him.
“I’m sorry”, he said and Jin’s eyebrows rose. “I know that I have to let you go sometime.”
“You don’t have to apologise”, Jin said. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you but it’s for the best”, he stood up and gestured towards the bed. “You should sleep now.”
“But my hair is still wet.”
“Fetch a towel and I’ll dry it for you.”
Kazuya did as Jin told him and then sat down on the bed, Jin standing in front of him. Jin placed the towel on Kazuya’s head and began massaging to dry his hair. The boy closed his eyes and had a half smile on his face at the treatment. Jin grinned at Kazuya’s contented expression and continued drying his hair a bit longer than necessary.
“Done”, Jin said finally and Kazuya pouted but didn’t protest.
“Thank you”, he mumbled and lied down while Jin took the towel back to the bathroom.
When Jin came back, Kazuya was already asleep. Jin smiled affectionately and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He looked at the boy’s peaceful face and thought about the cruelty of human nature. If not for the fact that he’d done it himself, Jin would’ve wondered why someone would want to hurt a pure and innocent boy such as Kazuya.
Jin happened to know that it was easy; you didn’t have to have any other reason than lust or rage or maybe even spite. It was so easy to take a person’s life in your hands and squeeze until it shattered to pieces.
***
Life would’ve been quite comfortable if it wasn’t for the dark cloud constantly hanging over their heads. One day, the situation became too unbearable.
Jin was lying on Kazuya’s bed, reading a book when there was a knock on the window. He frowned and got up from the bed to open the curtains. What he saw made him pale in shock; Kazuya stood outside, bruised and bloodied and he could barely stay upright. Jin quickly opened the window and helped Kazuya inside, placing him on the bed.
“Kazu, what happened?” Jin asked, hysteria in his voice.
“Don’t worry”, Kazuya said weakly. “I’ll be fine; I just need to rest for awhile.”
“You’re not fine, you’re far from fine! Kazuya, you can’t go on like this, you have to tell your parents.”
“I don’t want them to worry. What would people think of me if they found out?” Kazuya sobbed.
“It’s not your fault”, Jin’s fists clenched. “Don’t even think for a second that it’s your fault!”
Kazuya nodded but looked away and suddenly it was clear to Jin what he had to do. He didn’t care about the consequences anymore, it was selfish of him to stay with Kazuya and he’d have to leave sooner or later anyway. Everything was going to turn out for the best, Kazuya’s best.
“Kazu, listen to me”, Jin said softly and Kazuya looked at him again, one of the boy’s eyes was so swollen that he could barely see. “I have to leave for a little while but I want you to call out for your mother to come and take care of you. Please do that for me, okay?”
“I don’t want you to leave”, Kazuya said and desperately grabbed Jin’s arm.
“I have to, my boss says so”, it hurt Jin to lie. “I’ll be back very soon, okay?”
“Promise?” Kazuya looked at Jin with puppy eyes or well, one visible puppy eye.
“I promise”, Jin’s smile felt far too fake but Kazuya didn’t notice.
He didn’t leave until the boy’s mother had come into Kazuya’s room and he was satisfied at her horrified reaction which showed that she cared. Jin took one last look at Kazuya before he returned to his real body that sat in a comfortable armchair in his apartment. It was a little tricky to have an apartment when you were immortal but his boss had taken care of it.
Jin stood up and stretched his stiff limbs before he headed out. It wouldn’t be difficult to find the beast as Kazuya had now told him everything about him. His name was Tachibana Ryosuke and he had a wife and three kids. Jin wondered if he raped them as well.
The rules for Jin’s continued existence on the mortal plane were clear, he was to have no contact with humans except the children he was working for and even then never with his real body. He who had never loved or even liked anyone in his entire life would now break those rules for the sake of a skinny little 14 year old boy. The thought scared the crap out of Jin because he had no idea what would happen when he broke the rules and he didn’t even know if it was the best for Kazuya in the long run.
It was too late to reconsider as he stood over Tachibana’s body, blood dripping from the big knife in his hand. At least he’d killed Tachibana at school so his family wouldn’t have to find him. Jin marvelled at how considerate he had become when everything became black.
---
A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! XD This was meant to be a one-shot but when I had over 30 handwritten pages and a lot more to write, I figured that I should make it a multichap instead. XD It won't have many chapters but the chapters are longer than my usual ones.
The title comes from the song "Prologue End" by Acid Black Cherry. You can find a translation of the lyrics here.
Author: phoenix_zeal
Pairings: Akame
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: If I owned them I'd be too busy to write...
Beta: death_note13 ♥
Warnings: Mentions of rape and dark themes.
Summary: Jin thought that he would go to hell for his sins; intead he gets a job offer. Although it's not so much an offer as an order. He never thought that the job would lead to something so much more.
Jin didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this. Okay, he knew exactly what he’d done to deserve it but what was the big deal? He could take an eternity of torture but instead they made him atone for his sins in a different way. Jin didn’t want to atone, especially not if it meant that he had to appear like a little girl and braid little Yui’s hair. He’d had fun at some other jobs but this was torture.
Being an imaginary friend was not what Jin had thought that he’d do for a job. Actually, he hadn’t thought that he’d had a job at all considering the fact that he was dead.
Jin sighed and wished that Yui would get out of her imaginary friend phase really soon. If Jin was lucky, he would have some time off before his next job.
What Jin truly didn’t know was that his next job would be very special. He’d taken on various shapes according to what the child he was currently being an imaginary friend for wished him to be.
This hadn’t happened before though; he’d appeared in front of a kid and he was in his true form. Jin stared at himself in the mirror on the baby blue wall and it was really him staring back.
“Who are you?” the boy sitting on the bed didn’t look much to the world with his skinny frame and short bushy hair.
“Uh, I’m your new friend”, Jin said, a bit confused by the situation. “I can be whoever you want me to be.”
The boy frowned and his lower lip jutted out slightly as he pondered. Jin estimated him to be around 10 years old.
“I did wish for a friend”, he said slowly and looked at Jin, his head tilted to one side. “I’m Kamenashi Kazuya... You look like a... Jin.”
Jin’s eyes widened in surprise, first this kid Kazuya wished for him to look exactly like he truly looks like and then he calls him by his true name as well. As far as Jin knew, that was completely impossible.
“Jin?” Kazuya was pouting and Jin realised that he’d been silent for a long time and smiled reassuringly at the boy.
“Sorry”, Jin sat down on the bed next to Kazuya.
“You’re not real, are you?” Kazuya asked and Jin was surprised.
Usually the children would believe their imaginary friend to be real; it was ironic that Kazuya saw the real Jin to believe that he wasn’t.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m not real, does it?” Jin asked gently. “I’m your friend for as long as you need me.”
Kazuya looked at Jin seriously for awhile before his face was graced by a tiny smile.
“I need a friend and you look nice enough”, Kazuya scrunched his nose. “You’re kind of old though.”
“Hey, I’m only 24!” that was the age Jin had been when he died.
He guessed that he did look nice though. People had always been drawn to him and everyone had thought of him as a charming man... until they found out who he really was. Jin had never regretted what he’d done; in fact, he’d taken great pleasure in it. When he looked into Kazuya’s trusting eyes, however, he felt something churn inside of him.
“Why would you need me as a friend?” Jin asked and looked around Kazuya’s room; the walls were adorned by diplomas of various achievements. “You’re a nice, intelligent kid. You should have lots of friends.”
“Being nice and intelligent can be such a pain in the ass”, Kazuya winced. “Can we please not talk about it?”
“Sure, Kazu-chan, whatever you say”, Jin ruffled Kazuya’s already messy hair and laughed at the boy’s glare. “You don’t intimidate me.”
“What does it take to intimidate a man like you?” Kazuya looked straight into Jin’s eyes and Jin felt as if the boy knew everything about his past and he shuddered.
It wasn’t possible, every human who knew about it was just as dead as Jin, or more, and Kazuya was very much alive.
“I-I don’t know”, Jin stammered finally. “I guess I was never intimidated by anything...”
“Pity.”
An uncomfortable silence spread through the room and Jin looked at Kazuya’s thin legs that dangled over the edge of the oversized bed. The boy looked so fragile and vulnerable but Jin sensed that Kazuya probably had more strength than most people.
“How old are you?” Jin asked to break the silence.
“14”, Kazuya replied and Jin’s eyebrows shot up.
He’d guessed 10 years old since Kazuya was so tiny but looks could be deceiving. Jin of all people should know that.
“I know that I’m too old for imaginary friends”, Kazuya half smiled.
“You’re never too old for them. Some adults have them all their lives... just look at authors; they make up characters and stories to play with. I think everyone’s got imaginary friends, they just don’t call them that since they don’t actually talk to them like I talk to you.”
“Wow, you’re very deep for being a figment of my imagination.”
“I try”, Jin grinned. “But hey, doesn’t that just show that you’re very deep or something? Of course I’m not only going to say things that you want me to say... this doesn’t work that way.”
At least not this time, Jin thought. Usually, he was pretty much controlled by the child’s wishes but it seemed that Kazuya didn’t have any specific wishes and that gave Jin free reigns to act like he wanted... with some limits of course.
“I thought that you would just, you know, be kind and play together with me or something”, Kazuya said.
“I’m not good at playing”, Jin scratched the back of his head. “Uh, do you want to play? I’m here to do whatever you want.”
“I have to do homework; I’m already behind on my regular schedule.”
“I would offer to help you but I’m afraid that I’m not very good at homework.”
“You don’t have to stay here”, Kazuya went to his desk and opened his books. “It’ll be boring for you.”
“I can’t deny that but the rules say that I can’t leave until you really want me to leave”, Jin explained. “Apparently you don’t want me to.”
“But you wouldn’t be gone forever, right?” Kazuya stared emptily at the books in front of him.
“No, that won’t happen unless you don’t need me anymore.”
“Then you can leave... I mean it this time.”
Jin knew that it was true since he didn’t feel a barrier stopping him from leaving. He looked at Kazuya’s narrow back that looked so lonely in the faint glow from the lamp standing on the desk. Jin left his seat on the bed and walked to Kazuya, embracing the boy from behind. Kazuya stiffened and dropped the pen he’d been taking notes with.
“I don’t want to leave”, Jin mumbled and wondered about his own behaviour, in the past he would’ve left as soon as possible. “Will you let me stay?”
“Fine”, Kazuya said, sounding nonchalant but Jin could sense that he was happy. “Just stop hugging me and try not to disturb me while I’m studying.”
“Okay, can I play with your computer?” Jin looked at the other desk in the rather large room.
Kazuya nodded and Jin released him from the embrace, walking over to the other desk and opened the laptop. There was a saved session that appeared on the screen and Jin blinked when he saw the site that Kazuya had been on. Why would the boy look at gay porn at such a young age? Especially gay porn that was on the border, or more like over the border, of being abusive.
Jin hesitated whether he should ask Kazuya about it or if he should just close the session and act as if nothing had happened. It was too late to make a decision though as Kazuya reached over him and closed the frame.
“I forgot about that”, he mumbled.
“Want to tell me about it?” Jin asked and turned his head to look at Kazuya who sighed.
“Do I have a choice? You’ll probably nag at me if I don’t tell you.”
“I won’t, I’m just here to listen if you want to talk.”
“Maybe later”, Kazuya looked at Jin with a vulnerable expression. “You won’t judge me, right?”
“Never”, Jin said and put his hand on Kazuya’s shoulder. “I promise.”
Kazuya showed another half smile and went back to studying while Jin checked his e-mail. He might be dead since a long time ago but he kept up to date with technology. The only rule was that he couldn’t socialise with the living but he had lots of dead colleagues.
Time flew by and suddenly Kazuya’s mother knocked on the door, telling him that it was time for bed.
“Okay, mom”, Kazuya called out through the door and walked through another that led to the bathroom and Jin followed him.
“You don’t get a snack before bed?” Jin asked. “That must be why you’re so skinny.”
“I’m not hungry”, Kazuya shrugged and put toothpaste on his toothbrush. “Food doesn’t interest me.”
Jin frowned in concern and watched as Kazuya methodically brushed his teeth. Kazuya was the weirdest kid he’d ever had to work with and strangely enough, the only one who had made him feel some kind of affection and worry. Jin had only spent a few hours with the boy but he felt some kind of unexplainable connection with him.
“Should I leave now?” Jin asked when Kazuya had crawled into bed, wearing pyjamas with a cute Winnie the Pooh pattern.
Kazuya had made Jin turn around while he was changing but Jin had still caught a glimpse of his protruding ribs.
“Maybe it’s best if you do”, Kazuya replied but Jin could feel the barrier in place.
“I can sit here while you sleep”, Jin sat down by the desk and smiled at Kazuya.
The boy nodded and turned off the lights, bathing the room in darkness. Jin could hear Kazuya’s shallow breaths and when they slowly became deeper and more even, signalling that he’d fallen asleep.
Since Jin was dead, he didn’t need to sleep or eat or go to the toilet. He usually did sleep though to avoid boredom but this time he stayed awake all night, listening to Kazuya’s nightmares.
***
The alarm clock signalled the arrival of another dreary day and Kazuya turned it off with a groan. Jin had been his friend for a couple of weeks now but the boy still avoided talking about important things such as why he sometimes had a limp and bruises on his arms. It was quite obvious why really but Jin still wanted to know details.
For the first time in his life, and his time as dead, he wanted to help someone without selfish reasons behind it. It was clear that Kazuya was suffering even if he’d started smiling more when Jin told jokes or did something funny. The boy’s smile was beautiful and Jin was sure that it would be even more beautiful when it reached his eyes.
“Kazu”, Jin said and shook the boy gently. “Come on, you have to wake up.”
“I am awake”, Kazuya muttered.
“Then get your ass out of bed and get dressed or I’ll have to spank you.”
“Go ahead, I’m used to it.”
“What?” Jin stared at the lump underneath the covers that was Kazuya.
“Nothing”, Kazuya threw the covers off and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Forget about it.”
“I’m not going to forget about it”, Jin said stubbornly and Kazuya sighed. “Tell me who’s doing these things to you.”
“You can’t help me anyway so what’s the point in telling you?”
“You’re being sexually abused, Kazuya! You can’t bear this burden on your own... why else would I be here?”
Kazuya walked to his wardrobe without saying a word and selected what clothes to wear. Jin sat down on the bed and looked at him. He didn’t even make sure that Jin turned away while he hastily changed. Jin ran his gaze over Kazuya’s skinny frame and noticed the bruises adorning the arms, back and thighs. If he’d had any doubts of what was happening to Kazuya, they disappeared in that moment.
“I’m not supposed to tell you this but I used to be a real person”, Jin said and Kazuya turned his head to look at him. “Well, I guess I still am. After I died, I was assigned to be an imaginary friend for children who need me. You’re the first person who sees me as I actually am.”
“So you’ve really existed?” Kazuya asked and Jin nodded. “Either I’m more insane than I thought and making up all of this, or I’m more sane than I thought.”
“You’re surprisingly sane”, Jin smiled carefully and Kazuya’s eyes twinkled as he turned away.
“I have to go and eat breakfast before mom comes to get me.”
“She can’t see me so it’s no problem.”
“It just feels weirder that way”, Kazuya mumbled and left the room.
Jin groaned and lied down on the bed; he had no idea of how to behave around Kazuya. The boy was so easily hurt and stubborn which made Jin feel on edge. He couldn’t remember how it felt to be a teenager and he was far from Kazuya’s situation anyway, maybe not as far as you might think but still worlds apart. Jin wished that he didn’t care for Kazuya but he did. He was sent to help Kazuya but perhaps Kazuya would be the one to help him.
Jin must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing he remembered was feeling the bed shift and he opened his eyes to look at Kazuya’s face that was close to his own. Startled, he inched away a bit.
“Don’t you have school now?” Jin asked.
“I’ve already been to school”, Kazuya smiled slightly. “You must have slept the entire time I was gone.”
“Oh”, Jin smiled sheepishly. “How was school today?”
Kazuya shrugged, “The usual... Do you dream?”
“Yeah, I think so; why do you ask?”
“You were moaning in your sleep.”
Jin blushed and sat up, keeping a distance between them.
“Is sex really that pleasurable?” Kazuya asked and Jin choked at the sudden question.
“Well yeah, if you want to have it and your partner makes you feel good”, Jin replied hesitantly.
“Can you feel pleasure even if you’re forced to have it?”
“It’s possible I think”, Jin frowned. “You should tell someone about the rape, it can’t continue like this.”
“I’m telling you now”, Kazuya looked into Jin’s eyes.
“Yes and that’s very good but you should tell someone who can actually do something about it. I wish I could do something but I’m completely powerless, Kazu.”
Kazuya nodded, biting his lip and looking at Jin thoughtfully. The look in the boy’s eyes worried Jin and before he knew it, Kazuya had crawled over to him and straddled him.
“W-what are you doing?” Jin was shocked.
“Could you show me what it’s like?” Kazuya asked and ran his fingers through Jin’s hair. “Show me what its’ like to not be taken by force...”
Kazuya leaned in to kiss Jin but Jin grabbed his arms and stopped him.
“Listen to me, Kazu”, Jin said and breathed deeply. “You are far too young and in a perfect world you would be playing with your friends without any thoughts about sex. I won’t touch you like that; I can’t ruin you even more.”
“Don’t you like me?” Kazuya’s lower lip trembled and his eyes watered. “Don’t you find me attractive?”
“You’re a beautiful young boy”, Jin said and emphasized ‘young’. “I like you a lot, as a friend. But it’s not normal to want someone as young as you in that way if you’re as old as me. It’s sick and twisted and no one should’ve ever done that to you.”
Kazuya broke down in sobs and buried his face in Jin’s sweater, crying his eyes out while Jin held him. Tears ran down Jin’s cheeks when he realised all of the things he’d done while he was alive and suddenly knew that he deserved an eternity of torture. For the first time he actually regretted his actions and the guilt was tearing him apart. How was he supposed to function with all the pain inside?
Jin couldn’t understand how Kazuya survived what he’d experienced. They just held each other and cried their hearts out.
***
None of them mentioned what had happened but Jin was still trying to make Kazuya tell his parents or someone else about the abuse he was going through. Kazuya had finally told Jin that it was a teacher at school that had been sexually abusing him for months. It pissed Jin off to think that something like that could happen at school without anyone noticing.
Dangerous predators could work as teachers and no one would realise and stop them. He wanted to go to Kazuya’s school and kill the teacher but he knew that if he intervened like that, he wouldn’t be allowed to stay with Kazuya. That thought hurt more than he wanted to admit.
“Why did you die so young?” Kazuya asked one evening after finishing his homework.
Jin eyes widened, if he admitted the real reason it was possible that Kazuya would hate him forever.
“I... I don’t want to talk about it”, he said and Kazuya looked at him intently.
“You’ll have to tell me one day, you know.”
Jin sighed, “You won’t give up until I tell you, huh?”
“Nope”, Kazuya grinned and Jin smiled weakly.
“You’ve made me tell you stuff that I didn’t want to talk about so it’s only fair.”
“I guess so.”
Kazuya smiled and left the chair he was sitting on to join Jin on the bed. He hugged Jin who was a bit startled but then relaxed and hugged back.
“Did you ever fall in love when you were alive?” Kazuya asked curiously.
“No, not really”, Jin replied.
“Why not?”
“I wasn’t interested in things like love, it didn’t seem important... Have you fallen in love? You’re a bit young though.”
“I’m not that young”, Kazuya pouted. “I’m in love right now”, he smiled dreamily.
“That’s great”, Jin smiled but felt a pang in his chest which he tried to ignore. “Maybe you won’t need me anymore soon.”
Kazuya looked terrified at the thought and held Jin tighter. Jin felt ashamed of the fact that he was so satisfied that Kazuya still wanted him there.
“I’m so used to having you to talk to”, Kazuya said. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you...”
An awful thought entered Jin’s mind when he looked into Kazuya’s soulful eyes and for the boy’s sake, he hoped that he was wrong.
“Kazu, sooner or later you’re going to have to live without me by your side”, he said. “You can’t have an imaginary friend for the rest of your life.”
“But you’re a real person!”
“That doesn’t matter. Other people can’t see me and we can’t do stuff together outside because people would thing you were insane and talking to yourself. It can’t work out.”
Kazuya sniffled and released Jin from the embrace, getting out of bed.
“I’m going to take a bath”, he mumbled and went to the bathroom.
Jin suppressed an urge to bang his head against the wall and wished that the circumstances were different. If only he’d been born the same year as Kazuya and not almost a hundred years earlier. They could’ve been classmates and it would’ve been, at least a bit more, allowed for them to like each other. Jin wouldn’t have deserved it though if he’d still be the person he was when he was alive, he knew that. It was a hopeless situation but Jin still couldn’t regret meeting Kazuya.
A little while later, Kazuya came out of the bathroom with dripping wet hair and a bathrobe wrapped around him.
“I’m sorry”, he said and Jin’s eyebrows rose. “I know that I have to let you go sometime.”
“You don’t have to apologise”, Jin said. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you but it’s for the best”, he stood up and gestured towards the bed. “You should sleep now.”
“But my hair is still wet.”
“Fetch a towel and I’ll dry it for you.”
Kazuya did as Jin told him and then sat down on the bed, Jin standing in front of him. Jin placed the towel on Kazuya’s head and began massaging to dry his hair. The boy closed his eyes and had a half smile on his face at the treatment. Jin grinned at Kazuya’s contented expression and continued drying his hair a bit longer than necessary.
“Done”, Jin said finally and Kazuya pouted but didn’t protest.
“Thank you”, he mumbled and lied down while Jin took the towel back to the bathroom.
When Jin came back, Kazuya was already asleep. Jin smiled affectionately and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He looked at the boy’s peaceful face and thought about the cruelty of human nature. If not for the fact that he’d done it himself, Jin would’ve wondered why someone would want to hurt a pure and innocent boy such as Kazuya.
Jin happened to know that it was easy; you didn’t have to have any other reason than lust or rage or maybe even spite. It was so easy to take a person’s life in your hands and squeeze until it shattered to pieces.
***
Life would’ve been quite comfortable if it wasn’t for the dark cloud constantly hanging over their heads. One day, the situation became too unbearable.
Jin was lying on Kazuya’s bed, reading a book when there was a knock on the window. He frowned and got up from the bed to open the curtains. What he saw made him pale in shock; Kazuya stood outside, bruised and bloodied and he could barely stay upright. Jin quickly opened the window and helped Kazuya inside, placing him on the bed.
“Kazu, what happened?” Jin asked, hysteria in his voice.
“Don’t worry”, Kazuya said weakly. “I’ll be fine; I just need to rest for awhile.”
“You’re not fine, you’re far from fine! Kazuya, you can’t go on like this, you have to tell your parents.”
“I don’t want them to worry. What would people think of me if they found out?” Kazuya sobbed.
“It’s not your fault”, Jin’s fists clenched. “Don’t even think for a second that it’s your fault!”
Kazuya nodded but looked away and suddenly it was clear to Jin what he had to do. He didn’t care about the consequences anymore, it was selfish of him to stay with Kazuya and he’d have to leave sooner or later anyway. Everything was going to turn out for the best, Kazuya’s best.
“Kazu, listen to me”, Jin said softly and Kazuya looked at him again, one of the boy’s eyes was so swollen that he could barely see. “I have to leave for a little while but I want you to call out for your mother to come and take care of you. Please do that for me, okay?”
“I don’t want you to leave”, Kazuya said and desperately grabbed Jin’s arm.
“I have to, my boss says so”, it hurt Jin to lie. “I’ll be back very soon, okay?”
“Promise?” Kazuya looked at Jin with puppy eyes or well, one visible puppy eye.
“I promise”, Jin’s smile felt far too fake but Kazuya didn’t notice.
He didn’t leave until the boy’s mother had come into Kazuya’s room and he was satisfied at her horrified reaction which showed that she cared. Jin took one last look at Kazuya before he returned to his real body that sat in a comfortable armchair in his apartment. It was a little tricky to have an apartment when you were immortal but his boss had taken care of it.
Jin stood up and stretched his stiff limbs before he headed out. It wouldn’t be difficult to find the beast as Kazuya had now told him everything about him. His name was Tachibana Ryosuke and he had a wife and three kids. Jin wondered if he raped them as well.
The rules for Jin’s continued existence on the mortal plane were clear, he was to have no contact with humans except the children he was working for and even then never with his real body. He who had never loved or even liked anyone in his entire life would now break those rules for the sake of a skinny little 14 year old boy. The thought scared the crap out of Jin because he had no idea what would happen when he broke the rules and he didn’t even know if it was the best for Kazuya in the long run.
It was too late to reconsider as he stood over Tachibana’s body, blood dripping from the big knife in his hand. At least he’d killed Tachibana at school so his family wouldn’t have to find him. Jin marvelled at how considerate he had become when everything became black.
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A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! XD This was meant to be a one-shot but when I had over 30 handwritten pages and a lot more to write, I figured that I should make it a multichap instead. XD It won't have many chapters but the chapters are longer than my usual ones.
The title comes from the song "Prologue End" by Acid Black Cherry. You can find a translation of the lyrics here.