(no subject)

[crimsonsuicide]

God, what is my relationship and life coming to? I feel like everything is going down hill. Danny and I are always fighting, and everything is always the other person's fault. He tells me that he doesnt want to fight, then when i say something that he does not like, he starts a fight and says its my fault. I just don't know what to do. I feel like everything is my fault. doesnt matter what it is. I just want to crawl in a hole and have people ignore me for a while. I know i dont like to be alone, but some alone time would be nice, away from all the drama of a relationship. Or at least for everything to be better.. permanently.. It hurts so much, I always end up in tears, crying hysterically cuz everything feels like it is my fault. I feel like this relationship is gonna end the way the other one did, and i don't want that. I understand that the reason we fight/fought was mainly my fault, cuz every relationship i get into always has fighting. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Both danny and dennis told me (at the same stage in our relationships) that I had changed, and I don't know how, or why. What am I edoing wrong?
Also, I feel invisible, sometimes when I'm driving i just look around to see if people actually notice a little white escort next to them, or beside them. For the longest time i thought that people didnt really see me, I was just an imaginary character. I don't know. Not too many people acknowledge my existance, and it hurts... I feel like a good for nothing, worthless piece of shit. I don't know who I am or what is happening... Ii am ruining my relationship, my friendships, my family life and my life, and I don't know how....