evervescent moonlight of the complicated soul (sequel to First Art)

[crimsonsamurai]

standing silent. moping. sulken. drearily drinking away the hovering emptiness. looking back through the light. living still in the yesterdays. comparitively better days. i awaken and apologize. ive been coming off somewhat rude. to those of you who have befriended me. in hopes of better outcomes. coming from this unprecise person. being really dreadfully depressed. don't know exactly why. possibly school possibly work possibly women. ultimately equaling my direction in life. the downward spiral. so easy to correlate. it being so easy to stress me outright. being stretched from all possible angles. im feeling crushed. from beneath the weight i bear. forced upon my shoulders. i need an escape. being godless does not make me a fool. you foolish temptress. ruling my every heartbeat with lies. i reserve the right. to question the ruling authority. to question why beauty. should have the power. to bring yours truly. such painful misery. i would feel around anyone of your calibre. only with you would i entertain such embrace. do you no longer care. my once lady luck. why cant you love me anymore. with your renaissance eyes. from which forever i am trapped. i need to let go of your distant memory. but this memory hurts so much to ungrasp. why is it harder for i. to drop my scorching flaws. to understand like a normal being. with countless scars remaining hidden. and let loose the passion from within. yet i remain trapped within my surrounding walls. i look skyward for an answer. from the distant stars i hear but only silence. the beaming moonlight sure is nice. i would fly there if possible. but then i would still be lonely. walking the abandoned space between. momentarily gazing at the elegant earth. as if an invisible angel guarding above. tragically fallen ive got to get out. of my self procured grave. keeping locked away. all my burning thoughts and desires. ready to induce the world a new evolution. of thoughts and morals. instead i stay locked away. in my emotional prison contained. i am kept hidden within the confines of myself. for this a tender feeling. of love immortal i am forbidden. i need an escape.

**edit** This was actually an earlier post of a poem I wrote long ago.. but knowing what one of my friends is currently going through I thought it might help her find some sort of peace..