My Downward Spiral
As for me, Things HAD been alright. but now it going to shit. First, My computer fucked up on me. I took it to one of my friends to see if he could fix it. Turns out it is more complicated then it seemed. Second, My father got fired from his job after 23 years. He has been looking for a job. and I'm trying to help him file for unemployment. As of yesterday my mother informed me that We will be moving back in the house with my father. Which I'm not looking forward to. I mean it has been a year and half since we lived with him. This time away from him has changed everyone. I am not the same person i use to be when i lived there. I am just so sad that things have to turn out like this. We were doing so fucking great! and now this. The reason why we are moving in is because my mother had got a loan and in that loan there is insurance. My mother thought she had signed up for the unemployment plan. Meaning if my mother or father were to get fired they would pay for the house for a year. It turns that they had put my mother under the disability plan and now we are screwed because we are not financially steady to pay for an apartment and the house.I am so upset with my mother because basically she told us that we were moving in. I'm tired of her inconsideration for Andrea and me. What women in her right mind is willing to move back in with her going to be X-husband?!! They are in a middle of a divorce. Doesn't she know that this will cause a serious problem. My father told my mother that when he found a job that he will move out. That is bullshit. He has made so many empty promises that i do not know what to believe anymore. Living back with my father and brother is going to be hell because we are all different people now. I can't stand the sight of my brother. Hes is everything that i do not want my life to be surrounded by. Both of their negativity has chased their family away and I will be damned to let that get in the way of my pursuit of happiness. Everything just went to shit for me right now. And i just found out that all this shit happened on my challenging days. >:( I just hope everything goes well with all of us, but i just cant seem to remember any good times that has happened in that house. I guess what i'm saying is that i'm scared. Scared of being in that house and what the outcome might be. Before all this happened, I knew that we were going to live back in the house. I didn't mind. but to have our family as a whole in that house. Is going to be impossible. If we couldn't live together back then what makes it think we will be able to this time for a short time. I guess the only positive things i can draw out is I will have a house to call my own, until my father and brother move out. We have to move out of the apartment by April 27th. I'm trying my hardest not to let this get to me but i just cant help it.