Understanding
I've learned a lot about myself and the way the rest of my family works this summer.
Learning may not be the correct term, but rather refining.
My grandmother and I have a lot more in common with each other than may appear.
When my mother got mad at me and she refused to even look at me for a day
my grandmother always tried to tell me that my mum is just joking around
that she is not actually mad at me and everything is okay.
My grandmother likes to laugh and joke about everything when things get serious.
She always tries to make a good atmosphere where everything is happy.
---
Monday is my grandfather's supposed birthday.
My mother told me that we should make a cake and
have a family dinner in honor of him.
When night comes we will burn money for him.
I could see the pain in my mothers eyes while she tried to keep a straight face.
Since my grandfathers death, she is still yet to tell my sister and I that he is dead-
though we already know.
It pains her so much, that she had to write it down in a note to us
apologizing that she cannot say it in words.
The note is still waiting for it's right time.
---
I remember my grandfather as a calm easy going man.
He loved to enjoy life and told me that I should as well.
Something as simple as eating should be made enjoyable even.
While eating a chickenwing, he said to just bite off the good meat
and forget about cleaning the bone.
He always went out of his way to help others he cared about.
I always heard the story of how he gave and gave.
He would willingly give away his own money
and even his jacket to his good friend during the winter.
Thinking about it now-
I do believe he died happily.
I do not think he had any regrets of smoking cigarettes.
True, it may have been an addiction,
but I am sure he enjoyed.
When I had heard that he was dying and I may have to leave for california,
I decided not to smoke that night and the day after or
until I found out exactly what was going on.
I had decided to pass because smoking was what was killing my grandfather.
Maybe I should enjoy one for him. A Cheers.
To show enjoyment and happiness in his eyes.
Not a cig though, by policy I refuse.
---
I've always known but never heard it straight spoken to me..
Today my mother and I were talking about marriages.
She has always said that she never loved my father,
not even when they were younger.
Today I finally asked straight.
I was not a child born out of love.
This may be why I seek it so much.
Why I want to break the statistics of a healthy marriage for myself.
A loving relationship.
One that lasts, in both eyes.
Learning may not be the correct term, but rather refining.
My grandmother and I have a lot more in common with each other than may appear.
When my mother got mad at me and she refused to even look at me for a day
my grandmother always tried to tell me that my mum is just joking around
that she is not actually mad at me and everything is okay.
My grandmother likes to laugh and joke about everything when things get serious.
She always tries to make a good atmosphere where everything is happy.
---
Monday is my grandfather's supposed birthday.
My mother told me that we should make a cake and
have a family dinner in honor of him.
When night comes we will burn money for him.
I could see the pain in my mothers eyes while she tried to keep a straight face.
Since my grandfathers death, she is still yet to tell my sister and I that he is dead-
though we already know.
It pains her so much, that she had to write it down in a note to us
apologizing that she cannot say it in words.
The note is still waiting for it's right time.
---
I remember my grandfather as a calm easy going man.
He loved to enjoy life and told me that I should as well.
Something as simple as eating should be made enjoyable even.
While eating a chickenwing, he said to just bite off the good meat
and forget about cleaning the bone.
He always went out of his way to help others he cared about.
I always heard the story of how he gave and gave.
He would willingly give away his own money
and even his jacket to his good friend during the winter.
Thinking about it now-
I do believe he died happily.
I do not think he had any regrets of smoking cigarettes.
True, it may have been an addiction,
but I am sure he enjoyed.
When I had heard that he was dying and I may have to leave for california,
I decided not to smoke that night and the day after or
until I found out exactly what was going on.
I had decided to pass because smoking was what was killing my grandfather.
Maybe I should enjoy one for him. A Cheers.
To show enjoyment and happiness in his eyes.
Not a cig though, by policy I refuse.
---
I've always known but never heard it straight spoken to me..
Today my mother and I were talking about marriages.
She has always said that she never loved my father,
not even when they were younger.
Today I finally asked straight.
I was not a child born out of love.
This may be why I seek it so much.
Why I want to break the statistics of a healthy marriage for myself.
A loving relationship.
One that lasts, in both eyes.