hi
single for a year...
sadness is really settling in...its almost as if I don't even notice it anymore...(pretty sad isn't it)
I wish I was in a place where I could look at the moon and be happy, because not even that seems to bring me solace anymore. I wish I was in a place where the air is warm and the stars are bright and the desert sand wraps around you like a blanket.I wish I was in a place where I knew you were safe,where I could see you and feel your face. Maybe if you were here now things would be different. Maybe if you were here you would hold me when I cry and would tell me I am pretty.
I wish ... I wish...but wishing isn't enough.
Wishing hasn't brought you back, and wishing hasn't made me any happier in the end. I guess that wishing is it's own curse sometimes...and that wishing, hoping, imagining, and loving just don't work the way we want.
I'm sorry I left you, but I had to leave. I'm sorry I lost you, but you had to stay. Don't worry, I understand. I know you are stuck there now. The scars are increasing. Sometimes I like to think that your scars are what drive me further. Every new scar you receive, I receive one internally.
Maybe if you were here, I would be ok...but I can't blame you for my want of alcohol, and I can't blame you for not coming home, I can't blame you for each tear that I drop...that just wouldn't be fair...
But I do believe that if you were here, It would give me the power to change, and to be the person that you knew, the only person you know me as...
I'm sorry to all of my friends that I have failed...but please don't forget that in a way you have failed me too...
end note: its strange how losing one friend has gained me another.Even though I am sad about losing a great friend, I have gotten closer to another. One that I feel understands me, and all that I've been dealing with.
sadness is really settling in...its almost as if I don't even notice it anymore...(pretty sad isn't it)
I wish I was in a place where I could look at the moon and be happy, because not even that seems to bring me solace anymore. I wish I was in a place where the air is warm and the stars are bright and the desert sand wraps around you like a blanket.I wish I was in a place where I knew you were safe,where I could see you and feel your face. Maybe if you were here now things would be different. Maybe if you were here you would hold me when I cry and would tell me I am pretty.
I wish ... I wish...but wishing isn't enough.
Wishing hasn't brought you back, and wishing hasn't made me any happier in the end. I guess that wishing is it's own curse sometimes...and that wishing, hoping, imagining, and loving just don't work the way we want.
I'm sorry I left you, but I had to leave. I'm sorry I lost you, but you had to stay. Don't worry, I understand. I know you are stuck there now. The scars are increasing. Sometimes I like to think that your scars are what drive me further. Every new scar you receive, I receive one internally.
Maybe if you were here, I would be ok...but I can't blame you for my want of alcohol, and I can't blame you for not coming home, I can't blame you for each tear that I drop...that just wouldn't be fair...
But I do believe that if you were here, It would give me the power to change, and to be the person that you knew, the only person you know me as...
I'm sorry to all of my friends that I have failed...but please don't forget that in a way you have failed me too...
end note: its strange how losing one friend has gained me another.Even though I am sad about losing a great friend, I have gotten closer to another. One that I feel understands me, and all that I've been dealing with.