i heard the piledriver waltz, it woke me up this morning
This is mostly because I told thedream_king that I was going to.
Alex Turner
Jamie Cook
They are boyfriends.
It's a "secret" that began all the way when they were baby Monkeys. Look at them, they're all giggles about their little romance. The other two, they don't know what's going on, and they don't want to. Because you see that guy on the right? That's Andy. He's no longer with them. And you can guess why, right?
It's because they do shit like this.
Helders isn't pleased about what's going on either, but he has a stronger constitution than Andy did. Really, though, it's hard to blame him. That's disgusting, guys. Knock it off.
I said quit it.
Seriously?
Well, this is just mockery.
What Alex likes about Jamie, also affectionately and completely un-ironically known as Cookie, are his arms.
Those are the arms of a blue-collar bruiser, which is exactly what Cookie is. He hates press, and he tells the press just exactly that. Sometime around Humbug, Cookie turned into the strong and silent type during interviews, most likely due to management telling him to stop insulting Coldplay. He just started sitting there with his bulging arms crossed, looking like indifferent, very bored eye candy.
See Helders talk. See Jamie watch a boat go by.
Clothes cannot contain him.And with those arms and that bruiser strength, Jamie performs feats that make Alex feel like a girl king.
Not once, twice. Not only does this boost Alex's ego by putting him above everyone else, but it also provides Jamie with an excuse to put his head between Alex's legs in public. It's exactly where they both want to be.
As for what it is Cookie likes about Alex, well...that's a tough one.
I mean, look at this asshole. He's far more impressed with himself than he will ever be with you.
He's judging you. Right now, as we speak, he is judging you, and he finds you lacking. He's making faces at you. So no offense, Cookie, but I don't get it. Is it possible that you just have bad taste, and that's what makes you so irrationally fond of his stupid face?
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Okayyyyyy
Nevermind. I get it. He's gonna let you get some. That's what it is.
Cookie can't stop looking at Alex, that's the problem. It's all there, in the body language. It starts with the laughing and the looking, and then comes the unconscious leaning.
Then the conscious leaning.
They'll probably tell you it's because they were drinking, but we know better. This is a lie. Don't know how else you explain this one...
Not a beer bottle in sight. Not a one.
This little "secret" of theirs? It's starting to get out of hand. Already on their second bassist, captured on film being disgustingly, casually intimate with each other. Helders is fed up to the point where he legitimately wants to kill one of them, whichever one is closest.
Just...enough is enough. Of you two, of all of this.
Oh.
Alright.
I'm done here.
Alex Turner
Jamie Cook
They are boyfriends.
It's a "secret" that began all the way when they were baby Monkeys. Look at them, they're all giggles about their little romance. The other two, they don't know what's going on, and they don't want to. Because you see that guy on the right? That's Andy. He's no longer with them. And you can guess why, right?
It's because they do shit like this.
Helders isn't pleased about what's going on either, but he has a stronger constitution than Andy did. Really, though, it's hard to blame him. That's disgusting, guys. Knock it off.
I said quit it.
Seriously?
Well, this is just mockery.
What Alex likes about Jamie, also affectionately and completely un-ironically known as Cookie, are his arms.
Those are the arms of a blue-collar bruiser, which is exactly what Cookie is. He hates press, and he tells the press just exactly that. Sometime around Humbug, Cookie turned into the strong and silent type during interviews, most likely due to management telling him to stop insulting Coldplay. He just started sitting there with his bulging arms crossed, looking like indifferent, very bored eye candy.
Click to viewSee Helders talk. See Jamie watch a boat go by.
Clothes cannot contain him.And with those arms and that bruiser strength, Jamie performs feats that make Alex feel like a girl king.
Not once, twice. Not only does this boost Alex's ego by putting him above everyone else, but it also provides Jamie with an excuse to put his head between Alex's legs in public. It's exactly where they both want to be.
As for what it is Cookie likes about Alex, well...that's a tough one.
I mean, look at this asshole. He's far more impressed with himself than he will ever be with you.
He's judging you. Right now, as we speak, he is judging you, and he finds you lacking. He's making faces at you. So no offense, Cookie, but I don't get it. Is it possible that you just have bad taste, and that's what makes you so irrationally fond of his stupid face?
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Okayyyyyy
Nevermind. I get it. He's gonna let you get some. That's what it is.
Cookie can't stop looking at Alex, that's the problem. It's all there, in the body language. It starts with the laughing and the looking, and then comes the unconscious leaning.
Then the conscious leaning.
They'll probably tell you it's because they were drinking, but we know better. This is a lie. Don't know how else you explain this one...
Not a beer bottle in sight. Not a one.
This little "secret" of theirs? It's starting to get out of hand. Already on their second bassist, captured on film being disgustingly, casually intimate with each other. Helders is fed up to the point where he legitimately wants to kill one of them, whichever one is closest.
Just...enough is enough. Of you two, of all of this.
Oh.
Alright.
I'm done here.