meme & rant >_
I love my English teach (platonically thank you very much, he's a good teach) and hate him all at the same time. He's really funny and he lets us debate for most of the class. Anywho, on with why I am not liking him very much at the moment. Yeah, today we read out an essay in class (from the text book as our unit is essays at the moment), normally we have these for homework or perhaps 20 min at the end of class, so this was a little change. Now for the next change - what makes me not like him - he separates us into groups, trying to keep the ratio of girls in guys semi even.
That's impossible in our class seeing as we have like 30 some odd people and only perhaps 11 are girls. If that. So he breaks us off into groups by rows (it seems all the boys sit in the center row and the right row and the girls sit on the left) so yeah. It seems that there is to be like, two girls per group? Something like that. So anyway, he's getting down to limeberry_pylon, black_mist69 and me and then he notices, "hey we got some extra girls!" so he splits us up into different groups really far away from each other.
The other girl that was suppose to be in my group had to leave for almost the rest of class and only came back for like, the last 3 min? yeah
I don't interact with the opposite gender very well. I will admit, I have issues, thank you very much, that come from my elementary school. I am the dorky girl who didn't interact with the class on a whole and had only like, one friend? And it sucks for me that I happened to be smart (I am just a major slacker). I'm that person all boys pick on and says is ugly.
Now this really wouldn't be a problem if the group of guys I was stuck with were, well how should I put this? Not the group I was put in? Lets put this in normal people terms - I do not like to interact with males, especially the jocks. There are only a few males that I feel comfortable holding a "civil" conversation with. to tell you people the truth, for some reason unknown to me - males freak me out I can't stand being the only girl even remotely close to any guy.
Ungrounded fear? Most likely, but being alone with guys makes me emotionally upset then I start lashing out . Yeah, not good. So here I am surrounded by guys who are thinking "she'll do all the work for us" ((well the two foreign exchange students where quite civil, it was the other ones that pissed me off)) It starts off with Chris basically taking over as the leader of the group and asking basically everyone but me ((pretty sure I was to be last person to ask, which I am kinda thankful for as if I want first everyone would just agree with what ever I said >_<)) basically everyone's like "I donno" and even better answers of "uhnnh" then we get the best answer of "I say what ever Willow thinks"
thanks buddy, that’s nice, just make nominate me as group brain why don't you.
well as I explain to them the emotion "mortification" ((which amusingly I was feeling at the moment)) They started to debate who would write everything down and guess what someone said? Yep, same person as before; "Willow will write!"
Once again, thanks not only am I now group brain but now I'm the scribe too? No thanks, you can work too.
So I come back with "Willow doesn't spell" ((because good god, have you read anything of mine before spell check? yeah, makes you want to kill yourself, doesn't it?)) and then Chris thankfully just grabs a pen and starts writing, thank god. By this time the teacher comes around and we have a nice conversation ((me complaining, him telling me to lighten up and not to be a drama Queen, I tell him I am not a drama queen and I am just to much of a damn morbid pessimist and say "I think I will go hang myself" quite frequently, it may just be my catch phrase, then us getting into this really interesting [and deep] conversation about death and the beauty in it, then talking about what authors we like and my art O_o)) So then he leaves by telling me that "life is fleeting so enjoy it" ((translation: suck it up and work with them)) and I call back as he is walking away "Its hard if you're a pessimist!" ((translation: Why the hell are you condemning me to hell with these white supremacy bastards???? WHY!?!?!??))
I almost believed in god when the other girl in my group came back and saved me ((even if I like, hardly know her or anything and she's almost basically one of the guys >_<))
I don't want to do that again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't!!!!!!!!!!!! i might just brake down and CRY DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They wig me out and some one save me for the love of god!!!!!!!
((Why couldn't I have been put in the group that Erica was put in???? I mean I would totally switch her groups!!! She's social, I am not social!!!!!! I don't do social!!!!))
I don't want to go to English tomorrow ;_;
That's impossible in our class seeing as we have like 30 some odd people and only perhaps 11 are girls. If that. So he breaks us off into groups by rows (it seems all the boys sit in the center row and the right row and the girls sit on the left) so yeah. It seems that there is to be like, two girls per group? Something like that. So anyway, he's getting down to limeberry_pylon, black_mist69 and me and then he notices, "hey we got some extra girls!" so he splits us up into different groups really far away from each other.
The other girl that was suppose to be in my group had to leave for almost the rest of class and only came back for like, the last 3 min? yeah
I don't interact with the opposite gender very well. I will admit, I have issues, thank you very much, that come from my elementary school. I am the dorky girl who didn't interact with the class on a whole and had only like, one friend? And it sucks for me that I happened to be smart (I am just a major slacker). I'm that person all boys pick on and says is ugly.
Now this really wouldn't be a problem if the group of guys I was stuck with were, well how should I put this? Not the group I was put in? Lets put this in normal people terms - I do not like to interact with males, especially the jocks. There are only a few males that I feel comfortable holding a "civil" conversation with. to tell you people the truth, for some reason unknown to me - males freak me out I can't stand being the only girl even remotely close to any guy.
Ungrounded fear? Most likely, but being alone with guys makes me emotionally upset then I start lashing out . Yeah, not good. So here I am surrounded by guys who are thinking "she'll do all the work for us" ((well the two foreign exchange students where quite civil, it was the other ones that pissed me off)) It starts off with Chris basically taking over as the leader of the group and asking basically everyone but me ((pretty sure I was to be last person to ask, which I am kinda thankful for as if I want first everyone would just agree with what ever I said >_<)) basically everyone's like "I donno" and even better answers of "uhnnh" then we get the best answer of "I say what ever Willow thinks"
thanks buddy, that’s nice, just make nominate me as group brain why don't you.
well as I explain to them the emotion "mortification" ((which amusingly I was feeling at the moment)) They started to debate who would write everything down and guess what someone said? Yep, same person as before; "Willow will write!"
Once again, thanks not only am I now group brain but now I'm the scribe too? No thanks, you can work too.
So I come back with "Willow doesn't spell" ((because good god, have you read anything of mine before spell check? yeah, makes you want to kill yourself, doesn't it?)) and then Chris thankfully just grabs a pen and starts writing, thank god. By this time the teacher comes around and we have a nice conversation ((me complaining, him telling me to lighten up and not to be a drama Queen, I tell him I am not a drama queen and I am just to much of a damn morbid pessimist and say "I think I will go hang myself" quite frequently, it may just be my catch phrase, then us getting into this really interesting [and deep] conversation about death and the beauty in it, then talking about what authors we like and my art O_o)) So then he leaves by telling me that "life is fleeting so enjoy it" ((translation: suck it up and work with them)) and I call back as he is walking away "Its hard if you're a pessimist!" ((translation: Why the hell are you condemning me to hell with these white supremacy bastards???? WHY!?!?!??))
I almost believed in god when the other girl in my group came back and saved me ((even if I like, hardly know her or anything and she's almost basically one of the guys >_<))
I don't want to do that again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't!!!!!!!!!!!! i might just brake down and CRY DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They wig me out and some one save me for the love of god!!!!!!!
((Why couldn't I have been put in the group that Erica was put in???? I mean I would totally switch her groups!!! She's social, I am not social!!!!!! I don't do social!!!!))
I don't want to go to English tomorrow ;_;