Do you guys know what today is???
Well today is the 20th of May.....meaning? Today is my 11 month anniversary. Almost a WHOLE YEAR! I am very happy about this but this week I've had many many reasons to be unhappy.
Remember my friend Wicked I mentioned here? Well, on the 17th.....she killed herself. Slit her wrists in the bathtub, the funeral is Monday and I'm going to go. Don't really want too cause it will be painful but I was her best friend, and she deserves my presence. I understand what it's like to want to kill yourself, to wish that every night when you sleep you won't wake up the next morning. And I understand why most of my friends feel this way but I counted, I've had 7 of my friends commit suicide and that includes Wicked. I mean, I don't mean to sound selfish but why do I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do.......andway this is just gonna make me upset and I've had a good day so when I feel like venting sometime I'll finish this.
Anyway I saw Jimmy yesterday, I was walking around my backyard and he drove by on the street behind my house, he saw me and circled around. We talked for a few through my back gate and then I told him to drive around front for conveinance. So he did and we talked for a minutes. He said he was sorry for hurting me and he still loved me and my boyfriend is a lucky guy. Funny thing is, he sounded sincere when he said this, He also said he'd wait for me to be 17 so we can try again. All of this made the day very confusing. He gave me his number and he wants me to call him. I'm not sure if I should. I keep thinking about it, just debating. I would like to give him another chance once I'm older but I don't want my emotions to get all wrapped up in him now. I'm very happy with my boyfriend right now and I'm not going to let thoughts of Jimmy ruin it. Though that's easier said than done considering I think of Jimmy often. Anyways, fuck it, I like Jeremy....I save those thoughts of Jimmy for later.
Speaking of which I don't get to see Jeremy tommorrow :( which is sad. I miss him heh
Anyway, Will update later
Remember my friend Wicked I mentioned here? Well, on the 17th.....she killed herself. Slit her wrists in the bathtub, the funeral is Monday and I'm going to go. Don't really want too cause it will be painful but I was her best friend, and she deserves my presence. I understand what it's like to want to kill yourself, to wish that every night when you sleep you won't wake up the next morning. And I understand why most of my friends feel this way but I counted, I've had 7 of my friends commit suicide and that includes Wicked. I mean, I don't mean to sound selfish but why do I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do.......andway this is just gonna make me upset and I've had a good day so when I feel like venting sometime I'll finish this.
Anyway I saw Jimmy yesterday, I was walking around my backyard and he drove by on the street behind my house, he saw me and circled around. We talked for a few through my back gate and then I told him to drive around front for conveinance. So he did and we talked for a minutes. He said he was sorry for hurting me and he still loved me and my boyfriend is a lucky guy. Funny thing is, he sounded sincere when he said this, He also said he'd wait for me to be 17 so we can try again. All of this made the day very confusing. He gave me his number and he wants me to call him. I'm not sure if I should. I keep thinking about it, just debating. I would like to give him another chance once I'm older but I don't want my emotions to get all wrapped up in him now. I'm very happy with my boyfriend right now and I'm not going to let thoughts of Jimmy ruin it. Though that's easier said than done considering I think of Jimmy often. Anyways, fuck it, I like Jeremy....I save those thoughts of Jimmy for later.
Speaking of which I don't get to see Jeremy tommorrow :( which is sad. I miss him heh
Anyway, Will update later