Dec 06, 2010 15:19
11 days left.
Then I have to gather as much information as possible, and put on my "Clear Thinking" hat, and make lists.
Brain is scrambling around like someone lost in a dark room, looking for a contact lens probably caked in filth, hoping it will be A MAGICAL CONTACT LENS that once spit-washed and popped into my bloodshot eye will reveal the light in the encroaching darkness and show the shadowy figures crowding in the corners for what they really are.
My husband, my husband, my husband.
Oh the prayers that fall to their deaths like fine China from between my lips, meeting hard ground with crystal-clarity.
SHATTERED.
Like the photo frame he smashed into the living room floor.
Like the broken wings of dreams that never once took flight.
Tomorrow will be 10 days.
And the countdown is making my insides bleed secrets.